40+ Parents Of Reddit Share Their Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories

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Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor
Nov 8, 2023 10:00 AM EST

Ah, so you looked the other way, you turned the other cheek and now your toddler is running across the street. The only time when the supposed 'eyes in the back of your head' did not catch on to your toddler's surprising speed and agility, and they go for the worst thing possible.

As one of the parents of Reddit put it, 'It is like you are trying to stop them from actively hurting themselves', and this parent is not wrong. Kids do not know the limits and consequences of their actions, and as parents we are tasked with setting those limits and mitigating those consequences. A task that ideally requires 4 legs in a square, 8 arms on all x, y and z axes and at least two heads looking in opposite directions. Much to our disadvantage and the parents of Reddit's, we do not possess such outlandish appendages and as such it is mission implausible for us. So take a moment before getting stuck into the day and while your troubles way with these hilarious parenting stories.

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  • 01
    Italics12 3 yr. ago My son was 3. We were leaving Target. He left my sight as I was adjusting my bags. Maybe two seconds, tops. Poof. He was gone. I try to act cool, but my true crime podcast obsession got the best of me. The store locks down. We are all looking for him. People are checking cars outside. I'm calling my son's name louder than any intercom system. We were just about to call police. And then my toddler slides out of the cart area and acts like,""Sup?" He decided it would be a most
    via u/Italics12
  • 02
    midsummerxnight - 3 yr. ago My baby cousin disappeared on the beach once for about an hour. It was blind hysteria-people running everywhere, searching the water...etc. he suddenly came ambling back with a snow cone, despite not having any money. We said "where the HELL did you get that snow cone??" He shrugged, oblivious to the chaos he had caused and continued chowing down.
    via u/midsummerxnight
  • 03
    D 171 snarkiesnarker. 3 yr. ago Very similar story about my brother: My parents are in a department store in the 90's with my brother who was 3 at the time. Looked away for half a second and he disappeared. They called the cops, searched the whole store, the whole ordeal lasts half an hour before my brother comes out of a clothing rack giggling. So my parents were pissed, yelled at my brother, and my dad just grabbed him by the arm and went to check out. That's when he leans forward and bites my
    via u/snarkiesnarker
  • 04
    s__n3 yr. ago It was the 80's and I was a little kid, probably about pre-school or kindergarten aged. I was in a JC Penny's with my mom shopping but not really paying attention to what she was doing. The person I was standing next to started to walk away so I followed for about 20-30 feet, and then I grabbed their hand and suddenly realized it wasn't my mom I was following. Well ensue panic and a bunch of sudden crying. Poor guy I randomly followed was like "Well WTF do I do now?" He didn't do a
    via u/s__n
  • 05
    unctuous_homunculus 3 yr. ago . I'm pretty sure I fit the bill for this one, but as a kid, not as the parent. My dad was watching myself and my two cousins play SNES down in our den, and got up to pee. Somehow in the 2-5 minutes he was gone, we'd gotten one of my cousins on the treadmill, and got it angled into a downhill descent (pretty sure we're the reason treadmills no longer have these) and jerked the dial all the way to max speed. My dad came in just in time to watch my cousin and I launch
    via u/unctuous_homunculus
  • 06
    Rancethetank 3 yr. ago Our firstborn was about 18 months. Walking but not that agile. I was downstairs on the computer, wife yelled down she was using the bathroom and for me to watch him. We misunderstood each other so he was alone for about 3 minutes. She comes out asking where she is and he is no where to be found in the house. Thinking he's just hiding we start a full search only to notice the back patio door is slightly open after a few minutes hunting. Growing concern at this point but fig
    via u/Rancethetank
  • 07
    00 Thederpforce - 3 yr. ago . Yo same thing happened to me Imao when i was 3 my grandpa was watching me while my grandma and mom went out. I somehow managed to get into the garage and open the garage door and walk like 7 blocks to the nearest park in like 5 mins while my grandpa was in the washroom. They ended up calling the police to look for me cuz they had no idea where i went after searching for a while and i got to drive in a police car which was cool 177 Share
    via u/Thederpforce
  • 08
    bootycuddles 3 yr. ago . My Son did this. My ex forgot to lock the screen door and the big door was open. My Son who was maybe 2 at the time took it upon himself to escape while I was dressing his Sister after her bath (he had already gotten out and was dressed). I figured that he escaped but a quick glance either way and I didn't see him. I started screaming his name because I was terrified. Grabbed my car keys and when I went back out my neighbor at the very end of our street was holding his h
    via u/bootycuddles
  • 09
    The Moon_Shadow13 · 3 yr. ago My younger brother sleep walked once and left the house. Walked down a flight of stairs and woke up when his feet hit the cold grass. He was probably about five at the time. Climbed back up the steps, found the door had locked behind him, decided the family must be at work (we all chipped in to clean a business) and he should walk across town at two am to go find us at work. Got about two blocks away, headed for the busy road that passes through town, when a couple
    via u/TheMoon_Shadow13
  • 10
    Q oneplanetrecognize • 3 yr. ago . ad a similar experience with our neighbors. Their youngest (about 18 months at the time) had been watching our 2 boys drive their newly suped up power wheel all day. Next morning after they had gone off to school, he escaped and was toddling over to give it a go. They left it in our back yard. Our new adopted rottie is frantically crying at our back door. I look out and see this naked kid, except for a diaper, running for our power wheel. We live in Minnesota a
    via u/oneplanetrecognize
  • 11
    araindropinthesea. 3 yr. ago I was 2 and we were staying in this fancy hotel with my great grandmother. My mother was giving me a bath. I don't know what she got up to do, but when she came back I was gone. She found me at the elevator talking to the elevator operator (old hotel!), trying to take a ride.
    via u/araindropinthesea
  • 12
    peripateticpeople - 3 yr. ago Went to the toilet, leaving the newborn asleep on a blanket on the floor (on top of a large fluffy carpet). 3 year old was watching tv nearby. Came back to find baby literally rolled up in carpet like a dead body, 3 year old sitting on top, with a cushion under him too. Still don't know how he did it at all let alone so quickly, and how the baby was totally chilled and unharmed.
    via u/peripateticpeople
  • 13
    Affectionate_Ad_6902 3 yr. ago I was the kid in this scenario. I was about 4 years old and wanted a carrot to snack on. Mind you, the carrot absolutely had to be peeled and no other way was acceptable to me lol. My mom was exhausted and laying down on the couch but didn't mean to doze off but hey, parenting is tiring and she did deserve that nap lol. Instead of disturbing her I decided to attempt to peel the carrot myself and sliced tf out of my thumb and freaked out. I remember the blood vividl
    via u/Affectionate_Ad_6902
  • 14
    Lintman1 3 yr. ago . I had just moved into a new neighborhood on a cul de sac with my two young daughters (ages 5 & 2). I walked out to the community mailbox to grab my mail and met my next door neighbor while I was there. We chatted for a couple minutes when I heard my older daughter yelling from the front door "Hey Dad! Younger Daughter (YD) is naked!". I look over at my house and YD is standing at the end of the driveway as naked as the day she was born. I locked eyes with YD, and with a laug
    via u/Lintman1
  • 15
    try_new_stuff. 3 yr. ago I was making dinner for my twin 18mo when boy twin starts to fuss, so I carefully put the knife about a foot away from the edge of the counter. I intentionally put it away from the edge because my girl twin is NOT to be trusted. I go change my boy and turn around and my girl is casually holding my large, sharp chopping knife. I had to get it from her like a hostage negotiator so she wouldn't run away with it. I couldn't figure out how she got it so I looked at the video
    via u/try_new_stuff
  • 16
    SO catching_comets 3 yr. ago edited 3 yr. ago We moved into our new house on Halloween in 2001. Most of the heavy lifting was done, so the wife decided to begin unpacking the important stuff and I would take our 8 year old daughter out trick or treating. We stepped outside and I realized I left my phone. Standing on the front porch I tell her... "Don't move, I have to get my phone. I'll be right back. Do not move." Narrator: She moved. New neighborhood. Kids and parents everywhere. I'm running u
    via u/catching_comets
  • 17
    1980pzx 3 yr. ago Not me but my wife. Our two younger kids are 14 months apart. When our daughter was around 3 and our son was 2, my wife went into the garage to grab a frozen pizza out of the deep freezer and one of the kids, not sure which one, shut the door and locked my wife in the garage. She was banging on the door and could hear the little boogers in there laughing at her. My wife was not amused, she got a flathead screwdriver from my toolbox and manage to unlock the door. This all took 1
    via u/1980pzx
  • 18
    Bobos BigSister - 3 yr. ago One of my uncles locked Grandma out of the house once when he was a toddler. She heard him singing, "flour, sugar, coffee, four, sugar, coffee, flour, sugar..." Sure enough, when she got back in, there was a pile on the floor of flour, sugar, and coffee that he'd scooped out a spoonful at a time. She said it was worth cleaning up the mess that she knew exactly what he was up to the whole time she was outside.
    via u/BobosBigSister
  • 19
    Valuable-Company-738 · 3 yr. ago Not sure why, but in the house we lived in in Tennessee, one of the bedrooms had the lock on the door on the wrong side, so you could lock someone in the room. I came home from work one day to find my wife and three kids locked in the room because my son had locked the door from the outside, then went in and shut it.
    via u/Valuable-Company-738
  • 20
    Garbage Dayyyyy · 3 yr. ago · edited 3 yr. ago Not my kid, but about 20 minutes ago a toddler just kinda... wandered into my apartment. I had the door unlocked so maintenance could come in and out while working on something. My daughter and I heard the TV go on and sure enough some little blonde girl with cute pigtails is just plopped down watching cartoons. Lol. Her parents were probably bricks.
    via u/GarbageDayyyyy
  • 21
    theservman · 3 yr. ago I had been drinking scotch one evening while doing dishes. So I'm standing at the sink. I hear my 3 year old stumble into the room, pull a chair out from the table and climb up. I'm not thinking anything of this until I hear a small voice say "Juice!" as I turn to watch him dump about 1/2oz of single malt into his mouth. This was immediately followed by a gasp, then he turned bright white, then bright red. He went to bed early that night.
    via u/theservman
  • 22
    Mischeese 3 yr. ago · edited 3 yr. ago I glanced at the salt, and toddler daughter grabbed a whole new potato off my plate and shoved it in her mouth. She then tried to swallow it and choked. Longest 15 seconds on my life getting it out of her. Learn child first aid people! They are le machines as toddlers.
    via u/Mischeese
  • 23
    Goose-rider3000 - 3 yr. ago I had taken my four year daughter into a public toilet in France, which was next to a main road. As we left, I let go of her hand for a split second as I looked away to close the door behind us. When I looked back she was running into the main road as she'd seen her Mum on the other side. From where I stood, my view of the road was obstructed so I couldn't see if any cars were coming, and she had gone too far for me to catch her. By a complete miracle, she got safely
    via u/Goose-rider3000
  • 24
    AltharaD 3 yr. ago My mother was standing by the side of the road with me (8) and my brother (5). She let go of my brother's hand for just one second while she searched in her handbag for the keys to unlock the car. My brother raced into the road in front of a car. I can't remember if it was my mother or if I grabbed him, (this was nearly twenty years ago, now!) but luckily one of us hauled him back so he didn't actually get hit. My mother was so shaken after that I don't think she let go of my
    via u/AltharaD
  • 25
    megggie 3 yr. ago Having two young kids is such a juggling act. I was leaving the store with my three year old holding my hand and my infant in a baby carrier on my chest. Three year old pulls away and starts to run, and my reaction to lean down and grab her before she could get into the street almost dumped the baby out of the sling onto his head. Once I had my daughter by the hand again I sat on the curb and CRIED. They were both fine, but I was wrecked.
    via u/megggie
  • 26
    lankymjc 3 yr. ago edited 3 yr. ago . I was the child in question, two years old at the time. We were at the beach, where about two feet into the sea there's a shelf where it suddenly gets twice as deep. My parents were distracted by my brother, so didn't notice me wander into the surf. When they next looked up, all the could see was my hat away floating on the water. Panic set in, and my dad sprinted into the sea. Discovered that I was still wearing the hat, and was somehow floating completely
    via u/lankymjc
  • 27
    o DickyBurd 3 yr. ago My sister baked some cookies to share at work, and when her 3 year old daughter seen them on the plate on the counter she asked for one. Instead of explaining she wasn't allowed to have one, my sister lied and said they were "yucky", implying it was a bad batch. My sister, confident that her lie was successful turned her back to finish cleaning up. She heard the plate being removed from the counter and turned around just in time to see all the cookies slide off the plate in
    via u/DickyBurd
  • 28
    ineedapostrophes. 3 yr. ago At four years old, a friend of mine woke up from a nap and asked for a drink. Her mum told her to get the juice from the fridge. She drank about half a bottle of wine before anyone noticed the problem and was quite impressively vomity. She's 40 this year and she still doesn't drink - you might just have turned your daughter into a more responsible citizen!
    via u/ineedapostrophes
  • 29
    ashleynr123 yr. ago Left my son at the kitchen counter while preparing pancakes. One minute he's there, the next thing I know he's successfully empties the syrup bottle All. Over. The. Couch. I mean puddles of syrup in our cushions and pillows. First time as a parent I remember calling my mom crying because I was at such a loss for how to clean it all up.
    via u/ashleynr12
  • 30
    Regular Award 3200 · 3 yr. ago Getting ready for my first Christmas party at a company. It's a family affair. We all looked great. Hubby was already in the car, ran to the bedroom for something I forgot, we were running a little late. Ended up going to to the party with my 3 year old looking like a smurf because he thought my blue nail polish was "just like mommy's makeup". Still to this day don't know how he got the cap unscrewed because he's 10 now and can't open an already cracked bottle of w
    via u/Regular_Award_3200
  • 31
    Gamekitty2000 • 3 yr. ago Not a parent but the kid in the story. I have 2 younger sisters. They are twins and only 12 months younger than me. When I was 3 and they were 2, me and sis 1 put sis 2 in the washing machine while my mom went for a pee. She came back right in time because we were already playing with the buttons.
    via u/Gamekitty2000
  • 32
    Tv6633 yr. ago I was the kid in this situation, but when I was about 3, (16 now) my mom was helping me out of the shower and she turned around to grab a towel, turned back mere seconds later, and I was standing in the same spot but my face was covered in blood. I somehow managed to fall onto the rail for the sliding door and shoot back up to my feet instantly. I passed out shortly after and went to the E.R. 17 stitches in my forehead, major concussion. I was lucky to survive tbh
    via u/Tv663
  • 33
    FANTOMphoenix 3 yr. ago I was sitting in a high chair, climbed out of it, onto the counter, and stole my mother's coffee. All she did was to put her shoes at the door, 3 feet away ↑ 1.9k ↓ Share : Pea063 yr. ago One thing I've learned from this thread: small children have the ability to teleport. ✩ 1.4k ↓ Share
    via u/FANTOMphoenix, u/Pea06
  • 34
    jasho_dumming 3 yr. ago Found my baby boy had climbed to the top of a 4 ft tall dresser after stripping naked and covered his entire body face and hair with diaper cream. He performed this act in less than three minutes. 236 Share
    via u/jasho_dumming
  • 35
    Manic MondayMother · 3 yr. ago I swore I would never tell this.. At 19, I have a 9 month old baby. I leave her on the bed to go pee. A beautiful spring day, windows open, Cleaning. I come back. She's gone. Yet I can hear her! I AM FRANTIC, ALONE, AND LOSING IT. I check under the bed, in between the bed and the wall, everywhere. Until I look up and realize the screen is out. She fell out the Window into a bush outside and was laughing hysterically. NOT ONE SCRATCH ON HER. She's 17 now and I haven
    via u/ManicMondayMother
  • 36
    Eclectic Dreck- 3 yr. ago I'll tell one on my mother's behalf. When I was three or so, we lived in an apartment with an arched set of monkey bars out back. A standard rule was that I shouldn't play on them when she wasn't around to supervise. Well one day I was playing on them when the phone rang, so she ran inside to answer it, but not before ensuring that I'd gotten off the monkey bars and repeating her usual warning. One of the things she never allowed was for me to try and walk atop said mon
    via u/EclecticDreck
  • 37
    Chloedancer1234 · 3 yr. ago My daughter (5 at the time) was very defiant. I was four weeks post partum, dressed in sweat pants and a nursing tank. No shoes. She wouldnt get out of the car in the kiss and drop lane. I hopped out to open her door, not thinking about what would happen next. She locked the doors. Here I am, lactating, blocking the line, ready to either collapse in an emotional sobbing heap or break the windows out of the car. This escalated to the entire parking lot being rerouted b
    via u/Chloedancer1234
  • 38
    1223am 3 yr. ago My husband was watching our kids (2 and ~6 months at the time) in the bath and swears he looked down at his phone for just one second and then looked up just in time to see the 6 month old putting a pea into his mouth and eating it. Where did he get a pea in the bathtub, you might ask? From the stealth poop he did in that one second.
    via u/1223am
  • 39
    happy_freckles • 3 yr. ago when my sister, brother and I were young, probably 2, 4 & 5 or thereabouts...my mom left the room for 2 minutes and in that time we had managed to spray an entire container of baby powder around the room. She said it looked like it had snowed in there.
    via u/happy_freckles
  • 40
    imwalkingafteryou. 3 yr. ago Growing up we had a shed with our laundry room attached to our porch. My mom had me sitting on the floor of the porch playing with some toys (I was about 2), while she was doing laundry. I was just out of her eyeline for the time it takes to start a load of laundry, but by the time she turned around I had somehow managed to find a snake and had picked it up and was playing with it.
    via u/imwalkingafteryou
  • 41
    . Holy PallyGirl 3 yr. ago Went to pee, put my kiddos in there room with the door open and the gate up. I also had the bathroom door open...come out to find a dozen eggs cracked on the kitchen floor and into the butter and my youngest covered in peanut butter naked. My now ex husband was sleeping...I walked into our room woke him up and tagged out..my brain was fried at that point. To this day I have no clue how they escaped, they are 16&18 now.
    via u/HolyPallyGirl
  • 42
    Killjoy905 3 yr. ago My siblings did something like this when I was still too little too join in, we jokingly call it the great butter incident of 99. My oldest sister was sitting on the counter in undies with a tub of margarine and a whisk dipping the whisk flinging the butter on the kitchen floor my other two sisters were butter skating and getting that butter wherever their tiny fingers could get it. We didn't pass the military housing cleaning inspection when we left cause my mum couldn't ge
    via u/Killjoy905
  • 43
    kannakantplay. 3 yr. ago On more than one occasion my daughter jumped into her bath fully clothed. I was turned around to get the bubbles or her toys or something and then SPLOOSH. She was like 2. Lol Most recently I was sitting down after finishing some chores and she walked up to me really proud with a chunk of her hair. "Look mama, I cut my hair!" She just turned 5...
    via u/kannakantplay

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