Boss Plans to Fire Employee After His Father's Passing Because She 'Doesn't Know How Responsible He is'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 13, 2023 5:00 PM EST

Family emergencies are one of those things that can really show a company's true colors. When you're a diligent hard worker who always shows up on time and rarely calls off, it's easy to feel like you've earned the good graces of the company. After all, you've put in so much hard work for them, and you deserve some grace if an emergency arises. Unfortunately, it often doesn't matter how hard you work. Companies frequently extend the least grace possible to their employees, regardless of the direness of the situation they're in. How many of our jobs actually have designated bereavement leave? And for those who do, can you use it as needed, or is it only for immediate family members? 

One former doggy daycare employee recently quit his job after his boss was being extremely demanding after his father's passing. After quitting, he found out that his boss was planning on firing him anyway on account of his alleged irresponsibility. 

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  • 01
    r/antiwork u/martianmartin1 • 5d dad died, quit my job.
    via u/martianmartin1
  • 02
    everyone says "if you need anything let me know" but they never really seem to mean it. my father passed a few months ago while i was working at a dog daycare, management let me cover my shifts and spend a few days with my family and attend the funeral. i was scared that theyd fire me for walking out of my shift when i got the call, since no managers were there at the time and they already had a "chat" with me about calling out for genuine health issues, but my coworker called the facility owner
    via u/martianmartin1
  • 03
    when i got my shifts covered, i let my coworkers know that the funeral was tuesday and id be back on wednesday. tuesday night my manager still texts me and asks when ill be back. immediately after i got in the car after the service. i dont think it was intentional, she probably forgot that id said that, but it really REALLY hurt for her to seemingly prioritize that awful job over me being able to grieve and mourn my father.
    via u/martianmartin1
  • 04
    i called out again about a week later, and my manager said "can you just come in for an hour until i get there at least?" despite describing why i couldnt come in, as it was also related to my father's passing. i emailed them my resignation notice later that day, and when i told my coworkers they said "were glad you did it first, because the facility owner said she was gonna fire you if you came in tomorrow, she said because she 'doesnt know how reliable you are'." im still | about it. the owner
    via u/martianmartin1
  • 05
    keithfitz1996 - 5d I am sorry for your loss. o ... martianmartin1 OP. 5d thank you <33 Reply ... 1.2k 315
    via u/keithfitz1996 & u/martianmartin1
  • 06
    love2killjoy410 • 4d When my dad passed away, I took TWO days off. I came in two days later and had 6 write ups for lack of production. I found out that some of my coworkers were telling my foreman that they believed I was just ditching work (I was 20). I hadn't even had time to give my note to my foreman from the funeral director. He made a comment about "kids being lazy and not wanting to work" before I could even get a word in. I told him off and quit immediately. I'm still mad about that, an
    via u/love2killjoy410
  • 07
    aLegionOfDavids • 5d I'm sorry for your loss. 7 years ago last week my dad passed. It was cancer and it was quick and unexpected.
    via u/aLegionOfDavids
  • 08
    What made it more complex was that we worked together as an independent unit in an agency. As soon as he passed all the agency's partners said to take my time to grieve and come back when I could, and behind my back they were immediately drawing up legal documents stating that they had claim on our business. After a week (the day after his funeral) I start getting calls asking me when I'm coming back, saying I had to do work in a role that quite frankly I was promoted out of 12 months prior. Whe
    via u/aLegionOfDavids
  • 09
    Porkchop113.5d I would have made them fire me. And then collect unemployment. Reply 658
    via u/Porkchop113
  • 10
    martianmartin1 OP. 5d i thought about it lol but id only been there a couple months, even if they had fired me i wouldntve been eligible:/ ... 326
    via u/martianmartin1
  • 11
    enjolbear. 5d I'm so sorry for your loss. My fiancée has been going through a similar thing. She lost her mother and when she called out (4 hours ahead of her shift) that day, her manager told her she'd be getting a write-up because the shift had "already started" (manager read the sheet wrong). 2 weeks later and we are trying to go to the celebration of life, manager posts the schedule and denies her bereavement time off. Some people are awful. Reply 46 ...
    via u/enjolbear
  • 12
    NoAimElaine • 5d In my old job, i was told to stay on when i got the call my father died while i was in work, i still had 6 hours left of my shift. They let me use the meeting room to cry it out before going back to work. In my new job, i got over a week off when my dog died. You deserve a better job with better managers. Sorry for your loss ... Reply 31
    via u/NoAimElaine
  • 13
    TAastronautsloth99 . 5d Happened to me in May. I'm still not able to work full time. Literally the nightmares I have.... And fuuuuhuuuuuuck work. Take your time to heal buddy. I cared for him for months. He went from being OK to a shadow of his former self in a matter of weeks. I still want to cry writing this. I still want to go back. Even if if's to the worst moment I wouldn't give a . Let me hold him vomiting blood I don't care. Your work is not the stuff you'll be I about when you find yours
    via u/TAastronautsloth99
  • 14
    bet9114ever . 5d When my mom died (last year), not a single person from work came to the visitation. I've been at my job for 15 years. But got plenty of let me know if I can do anything. ... Reply 17
    via u/bet9114ever
  • 15
    yakaribru. 5d Most colleagues couldn't care less unless you are friends with them. It seems callous, but this is how most adults function. Colleagues you may consider close will become unresponsive strangers once you leave the company... 15凸
    via u/yakaribru
  • 16
    dindenver 5d ● I had to go out of town for my grandma's funeral. They said "if you go, don't come back." Reply ... 16
    via u/dindenver
  • 17
    Majestic-Average433 • 5d Heartfelt condolences, OP. Death and funerals always show you people's true nature. I'm glad your manager made it obvious to you what kind of person they are and that you had the good sense to believe them and remove yourself from the situation. I hope that you find a new job, as soon as you desire, that pays better.. and, more importantly, has an understanding boss. 4 10 + ... Reply
    via u/Majestic-Average433
  • 18
    soulsurvivor 78 . 5d My mom passed and you are right. So many people said if you need anything call. So i did, my aunt had the balls to tell me it was inappropriate!?! Like you said call "for any reason" no problem ill just block ya and move on but no one made you say that!! Reply 47 ↓ e
    via u/soulsurvivor78

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boss antiwork firing fired toxic-workplace job funerals terrible-bosses bad jobs work i quit funeral toxic-boss Horrible Bosses bad bosses quitting
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