'I can't tell you how much leeway they all gave me after that': Childless employee granted year of 'essential bliss' by HR after boss and co-worker bully him to give up his holiday break for employees with kids

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Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Nov 24, 2023 1:00 PM EST

It's the holiday season, and anyone who has a job knows that though it's the time of year to be merry, it is also the time of year to argue about who gets what days off. For example, in this Reddit story posted by u/Sirix_8472 in the comment section of a post about another worker trying to get their Thanksgiving shift swiped. This story is a little stickier, apparently. The commenter says he was getting bullied by his manager and a coworker because he didn't want to switch shifts with someone with kids. Apparently, this coworker wanted the holidays off to do family things, and felt entitled to it for that fact alone. However, the commenter is also someone's child and also wanted to do something special for the holidays, so he did not feel like this was fair simply because he didn't have children. HR got wind of this and ended up favoring on his side and the guy ended up getting hooked up for the next year he worked there. What do you think? Should employees with children be entitled to having holidays off, or is that just not fair?  

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    Cheezburger Image 9841191424
    via Sarah Chai via Pexels
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    Sirix_8472. [try to force him to take her shift] I had one woman try it on me in an office job. I didn't even know her well, we hadn't spoken about me covering her work(in fact i couldn't coz we were different teams anyway, but the department had rules as to how many could take
    via u/Sirix_8472
  • 03
    vacation at the same time and i had mine booked well in advance). I get pulled into a room by, not my team lead, not my manager, but my managers manager and this woman to swap holidays. He started with "right, whats this all about you wont swap". And I had no idea, so I asked, and when it
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    was stated i wouldn't swap holidays i asked again, coz it still wasnt clear what the issue was since i hadnt even been approached in the first place to refuse, who this woman was or why i was there aside from having booked 7 months in advance. Then he states "you dont have kids, whats the problem
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    swapping". So i stopped him there with "now hang on a minute Paul, YOU dont know ME, WE'VE never actually spoken before. You dont know my family situation, neither does my manager or team lead coz I have a rule never to speak about family in work, ever, so YOU cant tell ME "You dont have kids", its true I don't adorn my cubicle with
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    photos and on mondays i dont talk about everything we did for the weekend together, i arrive on time for work, i never leave early, i dont take time off at school term breaks for holidays". I side eyed the woman next to me, she looked away. He had tried to interrupt me several times and then Silence
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    followed. We sat there staring at eachother for at least a minute and a half til he eventually said "i need to sort this out" in an irate tone. 10 more seconds of silence and he kicks me out of his office to go back to my desk. I went by HR instead as it was on the way, just in time for his phone call to come in as im
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    standing there for him to ask over the phone if I have kids or not on my employee profile. To which I gladly shout at the girl holding the phone "Paul, the company files on me wont have that information either, aside from the fact you are not entitled to ask those questions or access the information as you are not a data controller for it, the
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    company health insurance is compared to my partner's plan which they would be listed under, my death in service and pension lists my partner as the beneficiary and there is no mandatory rule that employees must register their children with their employers". He hung up.
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    I felt bad for the HR women, but she was mid-tier HR and well capable. I explained in 2 mins flat the conversation I had just had prior to the phone call and asked if I needed a record with them. Went back to my desk. My manager came by my desk then! In what i can only assume to be a case of bad
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    timing and asked how I was, is it busy this time of year, always finishing things up for the holidays...yup...hes going there...."do you have any plans for Christmas". Normally you continue working, talk to someone beside you, but at this I stopped, turned and looked up at him in disbelief and said "jesus christ i feel like
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    quitting" just as the HR woman walked up toy desk behind me. Shed come to follow up and say there was no issue, everything was fine. Til she just arrived at it all over again. Manager tried to walk swiftly away like we'd finished a conversation about work. Now i had to recount THIS
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    conversation at my desk in the office surrounded by coworkers about how i felt intimidated by all levels of management and my privacy violated and how I thought HR was there to fire me when she came to my desk.
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    Now it was a real fire! Coz at least in my country(good ol EU laws) "hostile workplace" and "constructive dismissal" can be serious cases. HR woman took the initiative and pulled manager into a useless glass walled meeting room everyone could see and hear and he got strips torn off him.
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    She told me everything was ok, there was no issues. I was actually happy, but stunned at this point, so i asked if she was sure just coz the situation was mad itself. She left an 5 mins later im getting calls from my managers manager on my phone, i don't pick up but he rings someone else who tells me to go down, HR
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    is in his office too. I go down and i get an apology for the whole mess, never should have spoken to me, really sorry etc..etc.. I was offered a few extra days off, a company gift card, was there anything in town I wanted to take the family to the company would organise it etc..etc..
    via u/Sirix_8472
  • 17
    Im still stunned, complete shock face, i literally don't know what to say in response to how the whole afternoon has gone so im quiet til i say "i need to go back to my desk and its nearly home time". I took none of the essential payoffs over the next day when HR followed up with me,
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    said my private life was my own, company sponsored trips or special treatment didn't sit well with me. I cant tell you how much clearance and leeway they all gave me after that, i had a year of essential bliss in my office where noone ever followed up with me for
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    anything, meetings with team lead(who was never involved) went from kpi/stats and tickets/stuff resolved to "how are you, great to see you, the work is ok....thats all i have, we'll do this again in a month or two"
    via u/Sirix_8472
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    As a side note, coz i never confirmed it, i speak in broad terms about family not specific persons like children. I do not have kids. But i do allow others to interpret things how they will, their assumptions are their own. I also use things like hypotheticals "if i spend my time with my family..." Which is not a confirmation that that is what im doing or intend to do.
    via u/Sirix_8472

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HR to the rescue entitled co worker holiday break entitled upper management thanksgiving break holiday work shift ask HR thanksgiving shift entitled manager entitled people
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