'I want two engagement rings': Entitled DIL Demands Heirloom From MIL’s Collection as Wedding Gift, Valued Higher Than Entire Wedding Costs

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  • 01
    Posted by u/Existing_Ring_15 hours ago 8 AITA for not passing on an "heirloom" to my daughter in law?
  • 02
    I am 48F and my eldest is 22M. He's been with his fiancée (DIL) since they were 20 and he wants to marry her.
  • 03
    I'd always liked her before now, she's a smart girl, she fits in well with the family, she's driven, and she makes my son happy. Everything was all roses until they got engaged.
  • 04
    Now since I was little I was fascinated with jewellery. When I was older and married and had my own income I started to collect rings.
  • 05
    I would "design" them myself, used to ask friends and family to give me cash I could put towards them, and save up my disposable income towards whatever ring I wanted.
  • 06
    I wasn't buying one every year but over time I have a nice collection of rings. My favourite are a sapphire with a halo of diamonds, an emerald in a trilogy with 1ct diamonds either side, and a Ruby set in a pavé band.
  • 07
    After son got engaged and we invited him and DIL to dinner at home, DIL asked to speak to me. She said she's been seeing my emerald ring over the years and she has always wanted one.
  • 08
    She pointed out that I wear it least often, which is true, and demanded that I gift it to her as an heirloom engagement ring. This is in addition to other wedding gifts and expenses we had discussed as a family during dinner. This includes gold to the value of approximately £6000 which is honestly more than my entire wedding cost, and which I still think is a significant amount.
  • 09
    This rubbed me the wrong way and I admit I accused her of trying to pick through my estate before I'm even dead. I told her the ring is mine and I can even sell it on my deathbed if I want to; she has no right to expect it and she's being a rude brat by demanding it.
  • 10
    She yelled at me that something like this can't just be sold, it should be an heirloom and it's normal for heirlooms to Be passed on while the wearer is still alive.
  • 11
    I told her to leave if she was just in my home to demand my property and she stormed out, taking my son with her.
  • 12
    She's mad at me and son says I should've just passed the ring to her since I have others and it would Be a nice gesture to welcome her to the family! He says it's no different than his sister occasionally borrowing some of my pieces.
  • 13
    My husband and my daughter are on my side but this is the first time my son has shut me out like this so AITA? (Edit: DIL has an engagement ring already. It's beautiful and I would call it expensive. This is not a case of her being proposed to without a ring.)
  • 14
    Ducky818 14 hr. ago Craptain [164] NTA. Your DIL is quite the entitled gold (or emerald) digger. If she wanted it for an engagement ring, the proper thing would have been for your son to discuss it with you. Her asking for it is shocking and rude.
  • 15
    It's not an heirloom if you are the first owner in the family. Heirlooms tend to have generations behind them. And they are not necessarily given away during the owner's lifetime. Many family mementos are distributed as part of an estate after the owner is deceased. Don't loan anything to her or you will never see it again. 12.8k Reply Share
  • 16
    Existing_Ring_ OP 14 hr. ago Many family mementos are distributed as part of an estate after the owner is deceased. Yes that's certainly why I replied the way I did - it felt like she's looking forward to my estate when I'm still here!! 5.2k Reply Share
  • 17
    Fancy-Meaning-8078 · 14 hr. ago · edited 14 hr. ago A. That particular ring is not an heirloom yet. It's an active part of your wardrobe. B. It's an expensive piece of jewelry. If you chose to gift jewelry to her it would be on your terms. As to say which piece would be gifted, for what occasion as in birthday, 10th anniversary, birth of first daughter so it can be passed along to become an heirloom.
  • 18
    C. It was massively insensitive. Kinda insulting. Like trying someone else wedding dress before that person got married offensive.
  • 19
    D. Asking to start a tradition is not wrong, can even be a nice bonding experience, demanding that someone gift a pricey personal jewelry piece to do so just seems greedy.
  • 20
    Every woman even a young dumb 20 year old woman knows better than to try to invade another woman's jewelry box or shoes closet and to insinuate you are past your prime so you don't need those anymore?! She's not so smart that cookie. Nta my dear. 1.5k Reply Share

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