'Who marries someone without ever introducing their child?': Careless Dad wants to introduce his new wife to 7-year-old daughter at her birthday party

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 19, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Blended families can be a doozy. Remember the show Life With Derek? Or earlier than that, The Brady Bunch? The premise of both of those shows was bringing together two sets of kids when their parents remarried. Hilarity, hijinks, and buffoonery ensue when you bring together families through marriage. Not that it can't be a beautiful and healthy thing, but there are so many dynamics to consider. And kids are sensitive-- you have to introduce them to change in small doses. But adults are even more fragile, in my opinion. There are egos, past hurts, and adult feelings you have to factor into the branches of a blended family. 

This recent Reddit story is a classic example of the kind of conflict that arises between divorced parents. It's a tale as old as time, but that doesn't make it any less infuriating. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/hearts_lilah - 17h AITA for not letting my ex husband to bring his now wife to our daughters birthday party
    via u/hearts_lilah
  • 02
    (I will be using fake names btw) My ex husband (David) and I were married for 5 years and last year we divorced. We have a one daughter (lily) who recently turned 7 this year. Lily's birthday was around the corner so I was busy with decorations, the cake and the invitations. I asked her who she wanted to attended her birthday party and she said she wanted her aunts, uncle's, cousins basically everyone she knew from both sides.
    via u/hearts_lilah
  • 03
    I wasn't bothered with lily inviting anyone from her fathers side because we were both familiar and comfortable with them. I called David and I told him about the invitations and he was cool with it until he bought up his wife. He told me that he will bring his wife, he didn't ask me, he told me like he was forcing it because he knew I would say no and I did say no. I told that I was not comfortable with his wife especially her meeting lily and lily doesn't even know her that much and I haven't
    via u/hearts_lilah
  • 04
    He then told me that I was making this about me and not lily, that lily is child, she doesn't even know anything yet and he really wants lily to meet his wife and she also wants to meet her. I said to him that if she really wants to meet lily then she has to speak to me first and see how she really is before I can trust her with my baby. He replied to me by saying that I was jealous and that I didn't want lily too see her new family and be comfortable with them and that i was hurting his wife be
    via u/hearts_lilah
  • 05
    I was done with him and told him if he didn't want to come then it's fine it's not like he payed a single dime for anything for the birthday party and he was crazy for me to say yes to a woman who ruined my marriage and is the reason why my daughter has to grow up with separated parents. EDIT: The step mom does know lily and lily knows that she does have step mom but they haven't met which is not my responsibility and yes David does have visitation rights so I don't know why he doesn't introduce
    via u/hearts_lilah
  • 06
    Aggravating-Pain9249 • 17h Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] Introducing his new wife to lily at lily's birthday party is where this is wrong. It is lily's party, and not a time to meet her father's new wife. How many times has lily met this woman? If lily did not mention her when you asked about who she wants to be invited, then lily either doesn't know her or doesn't want her. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Aggravating-Pain9249
  • 07
    Murky-Historian-9350 15h Exactly! From the post it sounds like Lily has never met the ex's wife?!? WTF is that? Who marries someone without ever introducing their child. The ex sounds like a duplicitous who kept something from his wife first and now his child. How would that into go? "Happy birthday. This is your new step-mom who you've never met." Great way to ruin a child's day.
    via u/Murky-Historian-9350
  • 08
    iraven_mccoy. 15h Partassipant [1] Lily hasnt met her cuz she's her father's affair partner lol!! I cant wrap my head around why the "new wife" would even want to come outside of being completely unhinged
    via u/iraven_mccoy
  • 09
    UnicornGlitterFart69. 14h And to say she loves Lily like her own daughter when she doesn't even know her? I get so tired of these other women not being satisfied with poaching another woman's husband. They just have to take over as the new mommy as well. It makes my blood boil.
    via u/UnicornGlitterFart69
  • 10
    or MarsyRetro 16h Partassipant [2] NTA. You don't have to invite someone to a party that you don't want there. For future reference, don't invite your ex to your daughter's birthday party either. He's a jerk and you don't have to ever be around him except for exchanges. (Obviously, it's best for kids when their parents can get along and co-parent, but this dude does not sound like a team player -- no one asks to bring their former mistress / new wife to their ex wife's house let alone demands it
    via u/MarsyRetro
  • 11
    There was a post here not that long ago about a dude who's wife cheated wanting to be invited to the kid's birthday party that the dad was hosting and it was unanimously agreed she was way out of line and she wasn't demanding to bring her sidepiece, she was just asking to come. Sure, he's married to the mistress now, so she's going to be indefinitely in your daughter's life unless you have sole custody, but that does not mean you ever have to allow her into your home unless you want to. And your
    via u/MarsyRetro
  • 12
    Capow 1968 17h Aficionado [14] Okay, you stated that Lilly doesn't know her that much. Then you state she hardly knows her. Then you state the new wife wants to meet her. What is it? Your story isn't adding up. I will say this. A birthday party isn't the right time to "meet" a child for the first time. I would hate to have the child humiliated by any negative interaction between any of you. Who knows how his family feels about her. You are right to want to meet her first. This means her father h
    via u/Capow1968
  • 13
    Basic-Regret-6263 - 17h Pooperintendant [52] NTA. You are perfectly justified in not having your ex-husband's mistress in your house. Once your ex steps up as a father to the point where he has some sort of custody, he can introduce them during his time.
    via u/Basic-Regret-6263
  • 14
    dishonestgandalf. 17h Colo-rectal Surgeon [42] I'm pretty shocked that they're already married and she hasn't met Lily yet... Do you have full custody? Does Lily ever get to spend time with her father?
    via u/dishonestgandalf
  • 15
    HollywoodDonuts • 15h who knows shes says 3 different things about the post about how well they know each other.
    via u/HollywoodDonuts
  • 16
    archetyping101. 17h Professor Emeritass [87] What I find wild about this is your ex married someone and the wife has never met Lily
    via u/archetyping101
  • 17
    Munchkins_nDragons. 17h They divorced last year and he's already married. Dude seems to rush a lot of things he shouldn't.
    via u/Munchkins_nDragons

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family drama dads aita coparent blended family stepmom moms reddit story am i the asshole parenting divorce subreddit reddit thread Reddit
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