'Get this marriage annulled': Deceitful husband goes behind wife's back to help friend's secret proposal

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 11, 2024 3:00 PM EST

A good proposal story is worth its weight in gold. You can dine out for decades on the story of that time Mike got a skywriter to spell out "Will you marry me?" or hired the Backstreet Boys to serenade you in an empty ballroom. Not that proposals need to be spendy or decadent to impress. There are lots of meaningful things you can do-- get their friends and family involved, or rehash some of your favorite memories together… these are the makings of an excellent start to the rest of your lives. 

Do you know what's not a good proposal story? Doing it at someone else's wedding. It's lazy, inconsiderate, and completely impersonal. That's why this recent story from a bride stirred up so much drama in a recent Reddit thread. Take this as a warning to anyone who's considering proposing. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Overall-Candy-4513 • 3d AITA: For not continuing my reception after my husband went behind my back
    via u/Overall-Candy-4513
  • 02
    My now husband Lucas (26) and I (F,25) were getting married. We decided to tie the knot as we were having a little girl together and are madly in love. So leading up to the wedding day Lucas told me that his best man (Jacob) wanted to propose to his girlfriend as it would be a great time and it is a nice venue to do it at.
    via u/Overall-Candy-4513
  • 03
    I said that I didn't want him to propose at our wedding as it is our special moment, not theirs and that they can do it sometime else. Lucas told me that his friend was mad that I didn't agree. I just wanted the wedding to be about us because it was our special day. After that disagreement I thought nothing of it.
    via u/Overall-Candy-4513
  • 04
    Fast forward to my wedding day. We had finished the church service and now we're at the reception were all having fun eating. I'm eating my food and then Jacob stops the music at the DJ booth to make an announcement. I just knew from that moment he was going to propose. I look to see where Lucas was and he was holding red and white roses walking out to stand in front of Chloe(Jacob's girlfriend) spelling out. "Will you marry me?" I was shocked that they went behind my back when I said no. I got
    via u/Overall-Candy-4513
  • 05
    lostalldoubt86 • 3d Craptain [167] NTA NTA NTA They are SO many posts here and on the revenge forums about who propose at other peoples' weddings. It's a terrible thing to do and I'm surprised his girlfriend didn't turn down the engagement for doing something like that. If he wanted a nice venue, he should have paid for a nice dinner or something, NOT use a celebration you just spend thousands of dollars on to make it about him. I would be requesting the cost of their meals back. The fact that y
    via u/lostalldoubt86
  • 06
    accioqueso 3d NTA, but ladies, this is why we do not get married to a guy just because we are pregnant, and why we make sure we are all set on our birth control as well.
    via u/accioqueso
  • 07
    Longjumping-Study-97 • 3d It's also a good argument against marying at 25. I can't believe her friends are mad at her.
    via u/Longjumping-Study-97
  • 08
    Odd-Strike3217 • 3d I totally agree. Married at 24 and it was so easy to dismiss or explain so many back then. Now I see it for what it is. Unfortunately this person is now forever linked whether the marriage is staying or not. But the biggest lesson I've learned - actions not words are what matter. Words can be used to nullify and justify, but if their actions don't meet them, that's who they are. Him not prioritizing her is the most obvious scary part of me. But also who wants this as their pr
    via u/Odd-Strike3217
  • 09
    kiwi-sparkle 3d Partassipant [1] NTA. The friend is an AH and a cheapskate and he should have backed off the minute he realised you didn't like the idea. Your husband is the bigger AH. If your husband can't respect a simple decision like that on your wedding day, see it as a sign for your future. Get this marriage annulled - it won't last long if you aren't prepared to be a doormat. (I'm going to go with what typically happens as well - you as the bride probably put more effort into this day tha
    via u/kiwi-sparkle
  • 10
    SpruceOaks. 3d NTA - I'm sorry, but you just married and disrespectful idiot. This is a black flag. Any man with any ounce of morality or respect would never have even approached you about his friend proposing to his gf during YOUR wedding. How incredibly rude and disrespectful! If you have already signed the marriage certificate, find a judge to start the annulment process. You can't be married to someone who so fundamentally disrespects you. You are in for a lifetime of hurt if you do. I'm so
    via u/SpruceOaks
  • 11
    Comprehensive Nail416 • 3d NTA. Get an annulment, if that's how little he respects your wishes at the wedding, he will never treat you with a shred of respect now that he "has" you
    via u/ComprehensiveNail416
  • 12
    gracie_jc • 3d Partassipant [1] ΝΤΑ But YWBTA to yourself if you say with him. Wow, such disrespect on YOUR wedding day! Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. If you forgive him it will set precedent that he's allowed to walk all over you. Get an annulment if possible, set your finances straight and separate. Do not commingle finances from now on just in case! It hurts, but it's better to rip off the band aid now than much later years down the line with even more suffering. Spend
    via u/gracie_jc
  • 13
    Shutomei 3d So your husband put his friend before you. You should go to Jacob's wedding, steal the mic and announce your divorce.
    via u/Shutomei
  • 14
    scottyd035ntknow • 3d Wedding 101 = YOU DO NOT EVER EVER EVER PROPOSE AT SOMEONE'S WEDDING!! Baby Shower 101 = YOU DO NOT EVER EVER EVER ANNOUNCE YOU'RE PREGNANT AT SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY SHOWER!!! And vice versa. Basically anything of yours that can take away from someone else's major life event like a wedding or baby shower or graduation or whatever = shut the up and do it some other time when its just about you. NTA x1000 and yikes on all your friends and hopefully ex husband.
    via u/scottyd035ntknow
  • 15
    elsie78 • 3d Professor Emeritass [71] NTA but he has shown you that your opinion doesn't matter. He'll always do what HE wants, and he can't stand up to his friends/peer pressure. Then he had the nerve to curse YOU out? No. I'd seriously be considering an annulment. Or are ready to live with someone ago you can't trust, and who won't put you first, for 50 years? Your wedding day should be focused on you and him. Plain and simple.
    via u/elsie78
  • 16
    stfrances2968 • 3d ● NTA. I hate it when so called friends want to use your venue, your time and your money to make it all about them. His buddy is cheap. Sorry, but does you now husband actually LISTEN to you?
    via u/stfrances2968
  • 17
    SokolsCool. 3d Partassipant [3] NTA. Please announce your pregnancy/gender reveal at their wedding. Jacob took advantage of people coming to celebrate you two. Your Lucex cared more about his friend than his wife.
    via u/SokolsCool

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Tags

marriage wedding party lies marriage proposal wife husbands am i the asshole marriage-drama relationships husband wedding reddit thread Reddit weddings toxic relationship
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