'I'm the one marrying your son, not you': Monster-in-law wants 'moment with her son at the altar,' gets promptly disinvited from the wedding

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 7, 2024 8:00 PM EST

Maybe I'm tripping, but I feel like moms of boys are usually a little weird. Maybe it's just because it's not a dynamic I relate to, but moms who are super possessive of their sons always freak me out. I get being protective, but sometimes it's too far. I don't wanna get Freudian, but there are too many stories like this to ignore. And it usually comes out the strongest when their sons get married off. Then the moms struggle with letting them go, and the brides usually get the brunt of it. They quickly become the other woman competing for her son's attention, and it rarely ends well. It, unfortunately, is a tale as old as time. 

But what makes this story so satisfying is how perfectly the couple dealt with this overstepping mom. This Reddit story should be disseminated to everyone in this situation to show them how best to handle a monster-in-law. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/That-Competition-634 • 17h AITA for telling my soon-to-be MIL that I'm marrying her son and not her, just after uninviting her to our wedding?
    via u/That-Competition-634
  • 02
    I (28F) met my fiancé (28M) during college, and we have a great relationship. Last year we got engaged, and we're planning the wedding for this fall. While he has an awesome dad and really sweet sisters, his mother is kind of a sore spot for him. She is separated from his dad and from what I've heard (and witnessed), the family don't get along much with her. If you met her you'd understand why - she's super judgemental and rude, and barely has a nice word to say about her own kids, let alone me.
    via u/That-Competition-634
  • 03
    Upon news of our engagement she was super excited, very uncharacteristically. We then all realized that she basically wanted to frame the whole day around her - think "everyone should be praising me for birthing this boy, he couldn't even get married without me!". From there the craziness really ramped up - she was coming along with him to tux fittings, trying to plan out the music (even OUR FIRST DANCE), and getting angry at me for daring to choose a dress she didn't like.
    via u/That-Competition-634
  • 04
    The rest of his family and I were actually beginning to toy with the idea of uninviting her based on this behavior, and as wrong as it kind of innately feels, this is a pretty exceptional case and honestly her actions were starting to make us dread our own wedding. A further incident a few days later where she told my son she wanted to walk me down the aisle so she could "have a moment with her son at the altar" made me, my husband and my future in- laws snap.
    via u/That-Competition-634
  • 05
    We very recently arranged for her to come over to our home, where myself and my husband sat her down in the peace and quiet, and gently explained to her that we no longer wanted her to attend the wedding. She got really angry and immediately flew off the handle at me and not her son, as though I was the one who had influenced the rest of the family to uninvite her. My frustration at her boiled over, and without shouting I stood up and told her that I wanted her to stop yelling, and that she had
    via u/That-Competition-634
  • 06
    She hasn't spoken to me since, but she's trying to get my son to change his mind (believe me when I say he will not). She wants an apology from me, and while my husband (and the rest of the family) don't think I did wrong, I kind of wonder if my comment was unnecessary and whether it would've been better to stay the calm and collected party. I'm just so done with her and I wanted to let her know exactly how I felt.
    via u/That-Competition-634
  • 07
    StonewallBrigade21 • 17h Professor Emeritass [82] I wouldn't care what she thinks. It seems everyone agrees she should not be at the wedding, so 100% NTA. P.S. You may want to hire security to keep her out.
    via u/StonewallBrigade21
  • 08
    That-Competition-634 OP. 17h Yeah, security are probably a good idea...
    via u/That-Competition-634
  • 09
    momo10567 - 16h I would also make sure you have passwords on all your vendors and stuff so she doesn't try to go in and change things behind your back
    via u/momo10567
  • 10
    CassieW309. 17h Aficionado [15] ΝΤΑ You did things EXACTLY correctly. If you didn't put your foot down now, you would have a lifetime of drama with her. This post should be saved/stickied as an example of how to properly deal with a terrible mother-in-law. And your fiance deserves a high five for having your back!
    via u/CassieW309
  • 11
    Cheerily Terrified. 17h Supreme Court Just- [139] She hasn't spoken to me since What a lovely wedding gift. Why would you apologise to her? Besides the fact you didn't really do anything wrong, apologising would only prolong the wedding invitation drama. Just let her not talk to you and hopefully eventually she'll go away.
    via u/CheerilyTerrified
  • 12
    savinathewhite • 17h Enthusiast [7] NTA. This kind of delusional behavior will only get progressively worse over time, especially if it isn't (firmly) quashed. Either you set hard boundaries now, or she will be throwing tantrums at every milestone for the rest of your lives. Congrats on having a future husband with a shiny steel spine to match your own.
    via u/savinathewhite
  • 13
    sndacc25 17h NTA. Wouldn't blame you if you both just cut contact. Imagine what she'd be like if you had children? Probably borderline dangerous.
    via u/sndacc25
  • 14
    CatF4n4t1c. 17h NTA. Screw being the "calm and collected party". That woman literally wants to marry her son. You spoke the truth. She wants to get to the altar to "have a moment with her son", wow, sweet home Alabama. Good job putting her in her place. Get some security for the wedding or family members to stay alert in case she decides to make an appearance.
    via u/CatF4n4t1c
  • 15
    ahopskip_andajump • 17h If you apologize, she will consider it a win and will escalate things as she (in her mind) will have proved her point that your fiancé cares more about her than you. Do not enable her. Hire security to ensure she doesn't disturb any part of the wedding and reception. NTA.
    via u/ahopskip_andajump
  • 16
    CP81818 17h Partassipant [1] NTA regardless, but I think the fact that all her children are on your side tells you everything you need to know. This isn't new behavior for her, she's done nothing to make her kids give her the benefit of the doubt, and they were all ready to cut her from the wedding before you even said anything. Listen to your fiance and those who know future MIL well, you said nothing wrong and she brought this entire thing on herself. (also consider hiring security for your we
    via u/CP81818

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family drama aita marriage wedding drama mother moms reddit story am i the asshole boy mom monster in law wedding mother in law mil subreddit reddit thread Reddit dramatic
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