‘A little motherly malicious compliance never hurt anyone': New mom gets back at relentless MIL who keeps waking up the baby during nap time

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Feb 4, 2024 12:00 PM EST

There are many new routines you have to get used to when you have a new baby in your life. Your sleeping schedule, eating, traveling, working, and, well, everything. A baby is completely helpless and you have to basically do everything for it. So of course that is going to change your life completely. New parents are made aware of this these days and know that they are making a life-altering decision by having a kid. And mothers who were never warned about this and had to figure it out as they went should know and be empathetic towards women trying to handle this new life change. Unfortunately, for Reddit user ConflictActive222, her mother-in-law did not have the compassion and empathy you would think a fellow mother would have.  

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  • This new mama welcomed her husband's family into her home after just having a baby. Apparently, the husband's family comes from a more traditional background, but she didn't think that would be a big issue. However, it did entail for her to have to breastfeed her child alone in a room privately. Her mother-in-law found it to be “inappropriate." Inappropriate? In the mother's own home?? The entitlement is palpable. Anyways, the mother-in-law was strict about everyone getting to the meal table on time. However,  baby's feeding time and nap time happened to fall right before meal time, so the new mama would sometimes be late. This entitled MIL took it upon herself to barge into the room and scream and the mom to hurry up and get to the table, thus waking her baby as she tried to put it down for a nap. Obviously, this is frustrating on many levels, so mama decided a little motherly malicious compliance would do the trick. And though it stirred up some drama, it sure did the trick! 

    Want more malicious compliance? Here's a story about how an employee got 3 days off of work simply by following his boss' instructions.

  • 01
    AITA for coming to dinner basically topless? Not the I've dreaded posting for a while because I'm afraid I might be the AH. But i just gotta know. So here goes. My parents in law and brother in law came to visit and stay for a month with my husband (27M) and i (28F) after i had my baby. For context if it makes any difference, I'm German, husband and his family are Italian. The baby was 3 months old at the time and i breastfeed her.
    via ConflictActive222
  • 02
    Usually I'd just nurse on the couch in the living room but because company was staying, I'd go to my bedroom. After i nursed her, she'd fall asleep and take a nap and I'd have some free time. Since family was visiting, i tried to plan her naps around our mealtime to spend time with family uninterrupted. My mother in law has this thing that when food is on the table, you be there pronto. Sometimes I'd be late coming to a meal because babies can be unpredictable and she wouldn't fall asleep right
    via ConflictActive222
  • 03
    this my mother in law would barge into my room and annouce food was ready, all impatient. This startled the baby and made the process last much longer than it should have. The result is I had to eat much later than everyone else, alone, and the food was cold. It left me fuming. More work to do with the baby and I'm secluded. This happened several times. I asked my husband to talk to her and explain i can't always come on time. He talked to her but she still did all this anyway. So i simply decid
    via ConflictActive222
  • 04
    The next time she barged in my room and announced food was ready, i came without hesitation. I came to the table exactly as i was. No shirt, half a bra, baby hanging on one. (nothing was seen as the baby's head covered up everything anyway but still) Ensue uproar. Goes something like: MIL exclaims what the I'm doing at the table like this. I'm indecent, there are men at the table. I should be ashamed. I yell back what the does she keep calling me to the table for if I'm not yet ready. I have no
    via ConflictActive222
  • 05
    to get in on the argument. Husband ushers me back to my room and scolds me, taking his mother's side. He means he gets I'm frustrated but this action didn't help anything. But... After that MIL didn't bother again while i was busy with the baby. So what if i came to some meals a little after everyone had started eating. The roof didn't cave in! Anyways everyone lived happily ever after. The end. AITA?
    via ConflictActive222
  • 06
    ONOP Thinking TOOLoud 20h ago Partassipant [4] NTA. A well-placed piece of malicious compliance. 418K +More replies Re Share ↑ Baileythenerd. 20h ago Professor Emeritass [93] ΝΤΑ you'd think a woman whose had at least 2 children would've figured out generally how babies work by now I 45.8K 5.8K R 1 Share :
    via ThinkingT00Loud
  • 07
    Raise Love it. I'd be issed at husband though. Otherwise5650 20h ago Edited 20h ago ● "You had your chance to talk to her. Either you weren't trying hard enough to be convincing, or she didn't give a sit. If you're issed, go talk to her. I just did what she asked." "Next time, not up and actually handle your mother before I have to get my its out at the dinner table." ↑ 11K ↓ Reply ↑ Share
    via RiseOtherwise5650
  • 08
    music_thx 1m ago ● A little motherly malicious compliance never hurt anyone. ΝΤΑ
    via music_thx
  • 09
    rithanor 13h ago BIL and FIL are likely keeping out of it, because a)she's not worth the pain of dissent b) they were in awe of you standing up to your beach MIL ● Your husband is most likely taking her side because she has always been the boss of her household, and he needs to develop a spine strong enough to support you against his mother. ↑ 219 ↓ Reply ↑ Share ...
    via rithanor
  • 10
    moreKEYTAR - 16h ago ● Partassipant [1] I am very rationally angry at this husband. Imagine ignoring how your mom yells at your wife, how your mom makes loud noises that prevent your baby from sleeping, that your wife is socially isolated, that it is ok for her to eating cold food leftovers, and just generally not having her back when people body shame her for feeding your child? What a disappointment. 1.2K Reply ↑ Share
    via moreKEYTAR
  • 11
    ImHereForTheGoss2023 19h ago Partassipant [2] I bow to you! NTA at all! 1. You were forced to eat alone and cold food 2. A mother of (at least) 2 forgot how hard it is to put a baby to sleep?! I don't have kids and I know to be quiet around babies! She is TA 3. After asking to stop her behaviour she kept doing?! Again: She is TA You go girl! Have dinner and lunch as you want, your house your rules. The guests can move to a hotel if they want! 4 1.6K ↓ Reply ↑ Share
    via ImHereForTheGoss2023
  • 12
    Curiobizz 20h ago Partassipant [1] ● NTA! I actually laughed at what you did ... that was good! I can't stand my MIL, she's an awful person and I did NC for over a year now. She was disrespectful, ignored MY house rules, tried to tell me how to raise my children AND kissed my baby on the lips she also invited herself over for a week while I was recovering from a c-section and was ZERO help. I kicked her out 4714 ↓ Reply ↑ Share Due_Island_989 • 14h ago Gross! I am on your side. Your MIL sounds a
    via Curiobizz
  • 13
    11h ago When my MIL asked me to cover my baby once when BF my husband went and grabbed a blanket and put it over his head. Then he asked her if she wanted one. She said he was being ridiculous. He said, 'like you are asking my wife to cover our daughters head, while she is trying to eat.' She huffed and puffed and not another word was said for awhile anyway. ↑ 41 ↓ Reply ↑ Share Bswmom
    via Bswmom
  • 14
    Dogmother123. 19h ago Professor Emeritass [79] Your MIL is an mama's boy of a husband. and so is your spineless Your mother in law deliberately barged in and startled a feeding baby and made demands of her mother. Not cool. Also it is not indecent to feed your child in your own home or indeed elsewhere. She started this and you ended it. What an appalling house guest. ΝΤΑ
    via dogmother123
  • 15
    MonarchistExtreme 18h ago ● NTA OMG!!!! You got a husband problem. I was a VERY proud husband of a wife who breastfed our son and I would have crossed swords with any family member who had an opinion about it. Breastfeeding should be normalized in public but certainly in YOUR home. Sounds like it's time for Mother in Law to leave and she can take her overgrown toddler of a husband with her if he doesn't get his responsibilities and loyalties straight 148 ↓ Reply ↑ Share
    via MonarchistExtreme
  • 16
    craaackle 18h ago ● In YOUR house? AFTER YOU HAD A BABY? You could've done worse imo NTA ↑ 72 ↓ Reply ↑ Share Stunninwitchface 19h ago ● NTA. You're MIL is. Wtf does she expect? You have an infant. The scheduling now revolves around the baby. They should wait for you and the fact that your husband is taking his mother's side and not insisting everyone wait til you can eat with them is an AH move as well. 446 ↓ Reply ↑ Share
    via craaackle

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baby breastfeeding new mother entitled mother in law monster in law new baby new parents mother in law new mom entitled family r-entitled Reddit entitled people
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