‘I don’t need you’: Man Stops Speaking to Fiancé After She Calls Him Out For Dismissing Her Salary in a Social Setting

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Feb 11, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Welcome back internet enthusiasts and beautiful ladies of the world. Today we're here to discuss a ubiquitous commodity that we all love and hate: money. Not having enough money affects your mental, emotional, and physical life in drastic ways. Having too much money can ultimately skew a lot of perspectives or values you once had. Values are at our cores, and have a relation to our wellbeing and our emotional state. Now, when finding a partner it's always a good idea to find someone with similar values to you. If values differ in too great a capacity, then it's easy for mistakes, misunderstandings, and an assortment of problems to happen. 

Money can change us all, but it's important to stay true to our values, or at least listen to our partners in a decent and coherent way. No one wants to feel unloved, under appreciated, or like they don't matter.

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  • 01
    Posted by u/Kitchen-Pay-6118 13 hours ago AITA for telling my fiancé that I don't "need" him?
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 02
    The other day my fiancé and I were hanging out with his friend James and James's girlfriend Naomi. My fiancé currently owns a company that his dad started back 18 years ago, as he inherited it in his dad's passing 2 years ago. He's now extremely wealthy. When I got together with him 8 years ago, he was broke, depressed and living in
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 03
    his sister's basement and didn't have a job. I worked full time. Money never bothered me the way it bothered my fiancé. He is quite materialistic, whereas I'm the opposite. When I go shopping, I buy stuff for him but I don't even remember the last time I had a desire to buy myself anything. Big extravagant things just don't
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 04
    appeal to me. I drive a '07 Toyota for crying out loud. With that said, I do currently own and operate my own business; but I make significantly less than my fiancé does now. I make about $56k a year and he made around $120k last year (he made $250k-ish the year before but it entirely depends on how much he works. he made
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 05
    less this year because he was out on a boat flaunting his lifestyle all summer). The money changed him.. that's all I'm gonna say. He's just different. His ego is completely inflated and he feels untouchable. He has bought a huge house and has 5 different vehicles in our driveway.
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 06
    He buys me gifts stuff I would never buy myself. Like, he bought me a Gucci hand bag 3 days ago for our anniversary, knowing I don't use them. I obviously said thank you and acted totally appreciative but like.. he knows I don't like this stuff either so it did hurt and actions like this (which happen all the time) make me feel unheard. I'm constantly but it's
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 07
    an art junkie. I paint and draw. I read books constantly. I do not keep up with fashion statements. But instead of getting me a book or a canvas, he gets me a Gucci bag. Idk. It bothered me because he's trying to make me "look better" for him and his image (he hasnt outright said that - he tries saying "I just want you to have nice
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 08
    things"). So, anyways, we are with James and Naomi the other day. James and I get along really well but Naomi and I are just opposites. She's definitely big on appearance and money and gives James a super hard time constantly for not providing a better life for them (she doesn't work). James is more
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 09
    laid back. He's happy with what he has (a cozy home, a couple cars but nothing extravagant). The topic of money came up after Naomi mentioned James "not making enough for them" and my fiancé starts gloating. Says he offered James a job but James said no. But then he made the comment of "yeah my lady wouldn't have nice things if it
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 10
    weren't for me". So I asked what he meant by that and he said "well, we know you won't spend money on yourself for whatever reason so you definitely wouldn't have nice things if I didn't get them. Like, look at this Gucci bag. You need me to get your stuff or you would just never have anything." It was at that point that I told him I didn't
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 11
    need him or his gifts. He looked uncomfortable and said "well I didn't mean it like that" and changed the subject. James and Naomi were just eyeballing us the whole time. After we left, he said I embarrassed him and that I shouldn't have said that because I took it out of context and made him look like an idiot. I
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 12
    told him he wasn't trying to impress Naomi by flaunting money, this wouldn't have happened. He has barely spoken to me since. AITA? eta: before he bought this giant house, I owned my own property. I bought us a 2 bedroom home 4 years ago. I currently rent it out
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 13
    because I like the house and didn't want to sell it. And yes, I've communicated my feelings on this stuff and he says "when you got with me I didn't have a penny to my name and I wasn't able to spoil you, so now I am." But when I tell him that I would be happier with book or art supplies, he says that stuff is cheap or not good enough and I wants me to experience
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 14
    book or art supplies, he says that stuff is cheap or not good enough and I wants me to experience luxury.
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 15
    WavesnMountains. 13 hr. ago NTA y'all should switch partners
    via u/WavesnMountains
  • 16
    Kitchen-Pay-6118 OP · 13 hr. ago You're not the first person to say that.
    via u/Kitchen-Pay-6118
  • 17
    Cleveland Womble . 12 hr. ago Probably won't be the last either. I thought the same.
    via u/ClevelandWomble
  • 18
    Obsidian ConspiracyXx. 2 hr. ago We're all thinking it. OP, please don't marry this guy. You are in no way, shape, or form compatible with each other. He also sounds like a complete
    via u/ObsidianConspiracyXx
  • 19
    TheWanderingMedic. 10 hr. ago Maybe it's time to start really listening to the people saying it. He's not it OP. Also, he'll be broke at the rate he's spending. He lacks the
    via u/TheWanderingMedic
  • 20
    knowledge of how to manage wealth responsibly.
    via u/TheWanderingMedic
  • 21
    ca1ic0cat 9 hr. ago Yeah, I saw that he's going to run out of cash, too. If he's not working enough what's next? Bet the house are cars are heavily leveraged. Once the cash flow bit, s watch out.
    via u/ca1ic0cat
  • 22
    CoveCreates . 7 hr. ago Yeah I'd get out before he goes bankrupt and takes everything she's worked for with him.
    via u/CoveCreates
  • 23
    14ktgoldscw. 6 hr. ago And Gucci and boats aren't even $250K/year habits to begin with.
    via u/14ktgoldscw
  • 24
    TassieBorn 7 hr. ago It's not "spoiling" you to ignore your preferences and buy expensive stuff you neither need nor want. He's treating you like an accessory he's polishing up to make himself look good.
    via u/TassieBorn
  • 25
    Croissantal edited 12 hr. ago 13 hr. ago. NTA. First of all, it looks like a partner swap is in order. Second of all, why exactly are you expected to take all the blame for "embarrassing" him when he threw down the gauntlet first? He was dishing it
    via u/Croissantal
  • 26
    out just fine, he just couldn't take it when you bit back. Third of all, the numbers look a bit odd to me. Don't get me wrong, 125-250K a year is a very good income, but it's not "a huge house with 5 cars in the driveway" type of income. Maybe it makes more sense where you live so I could be
    via u/Croissantal
  • 27
    wrong here, but either the income numbers are off or he's hiding a giant pile of debt behind the curtains. My point is - double check his debts if you plan on marrying this man.
    via u/Croissantal

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