‘How dare you divorce me over a puzzle’: A Marriage of 8 years Can’t Put the Pieces Back Together When During a Fight Husband Throws Away Wife’s Prized Puzzle

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Feb 15, 2024 2:00 PM EST

Couples fight about a lot of things. It's easy to get swept up in a petty fight over nothing, and on the surface it really seems like nothing, but deep down it's about a lot more than what's on the surface. Typically a fight isn't about them 'changing the song while you were enjoying it,' or finishing the rest of their salsa in the fridge.' These actions have implications, and it's the implications that stimulate the hurt and pain that causes a fight. For example, if they finish your favorite salsa that you drove an hour to the natural foods store to buy, it isn't about the salsa, it's the feeling that they don't consider you in their actions, or don't care about how you feel. It's completely legitimate, and these things have to be taught sometimes. 

Entering a relationship always means there's a lot of learning and navigating around what people's preferences are, their triggers, and their expectations. Over time, the more we understand each other, the better off we are. Now read this hilarious Reddit piece about a couple's feud over a puzzle. 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/Mother_Negotiation42 2 days ago AITA for divorcing my husband over a puzzle?
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 02
    I (34F) and my husband (35F) have been married for 6 years now. We met when we were kids and grew up together in a small town. Everybody always knew that we were going to end up together. I have a hobby of doing puzzles and I would often
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 03
    encourage my husband to join me, expressing that it would make me happy if he took an interest in what I enjoy doing. However, when I told my husband this he just laughed and said he has better things to do than "care home activities."
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 04
    The comment always rubbed me the wrong way, but I know my husband can be insensitive to these things, so I never commented further on it. My husband and I are very different. While he prefers to go out hiking or to meet up with friends in his spare
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 05
    time, I would rather stay at home and read a book or cook or do puzzles. While I wouldn't call myself introverted, my husband often told me I should make greater effort to socialise more and get out.
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 06
    Recently, this topic has been appearing more and more in our arguments so last week I asked him so why it bothered him so much that I don't like to go out as much as him and he told me it's "a waste of a pretty face." I told him I didn't appreciate that
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 07
    comment and that he shouldn't have married me if what I did in spare time was such a problem to him. He scoffed and told me that thought he shouldn't have married me either. He then left the house and didn't come back until night, when I
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 08
    was already in bed. I have a rather extensive collection of puzzles that I collect and then display in my office room. When we got married, I agreed I would leave them in my office when they were finished and that he would
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 09
    never find the pieces lying He often told me I was filling the house with "eyesores" and that he wanted to live in a home not a children's playhouse That night after he left, I redid one of my favourite puzzles to seek comfort
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 10
    from its familiarity. It was a gift from a friend that has moved away a few years ago. It was a beautiful custom made puzzle, and it meant the world to me. The picture that puzzle creates is one of me and my friend at our graduation. It's a big
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 11
    puzzle comprising about 200+ pieces, so I didn't finish it that day and I went to bed, leaving the pieces scattered over our dining table. When I woke the next morning to finish the puzzle, it was no longer on
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 12
    the table where I had left it. It wasn't in our bedroom; it wasn't in my office, none of my collection was. I finally went to the kitchen to ask my husband if he'd seen my puzzle collection. He looked at me and with a smug little smirk and told
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 13
    me he had to put them all "where they belong." I immediately knew that he had thrown them into the trash. It was Friday morning, and that's when the trash was taken away. So I knew I had lost them forever.
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 14
    I didn't waste time shouting at him. I just went to my room and packed my essentials before taking a taxi to my mom's place. He didn't stop me from leaving. He didn't ask where I was going.
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 15
    I told my mom what had happened, and she told me I could stay at her place for however long I need until I figured out what my next steps were going to be. I consulted my friends about the matter and they told me
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 16
    that my husband had been asking everyone where I was and had been telling them to keep their silences about his inquiries. They advised me to start looking into divorce with my husband and if that wasn't an option I willing to take then we should try
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 17
    marriage counselling. My husband realised I was serious and so he started spamming my phone with calls and messages, telling me I was being "rash and unreasonable" and that no normal human should care that much about a
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 18
    "glorified piece of plastic." I had not yet replied to any of his messages. Some of my friends also could not understand why the puzzles hold such value to me. But for me, that has just given me more of an incentive to remove him from my life permanently.
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 19
    2 days ago, I told him I was going to mourn those puzzles more than I would ever mourn our relationship. Many people are telling me I'm making a mistake in seeking divorce so quickly and that I'll regret my decision. But this whole experience has
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 20
    taught me I hate my husband, and that I was right to cheat on him on him with my friend that moved away. So, am I the ?
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 21
    Edit: I cheated at the very beginning of our relationship when I was about 22. We were on break so I took this to mean we could see other people but he made sure to bring it up every time we argued. That final state should've been more like
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 22
    "I've finally realised I wasn't in the wrong" Because even he slept with other women while in this break and he made that abundantly clear to me. However, he said that it wasn't okay for me to do it because it tarnishes my worth
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 23
    Edit 2: I'm so thankful for all the support I've received in this post, you guys really helped me make a decision on what my next actions should be. Despite how my post portrays him, I don't believe my husband to be an abusive man. The post
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 24
    is not an overview of our marriage, just one specific day that happened to be a breaking point for me. A lot of people have said that me and my husband don't seem to be compatible and I have also come to realise this. I think we worked better as
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 25
    friends than as a married couple and I wish him all the best in life.
    via u/Mother_Negotiation42
  • 26
    SignificantOrange139 · 2 days ago NTA. That was cold, cruel and calculated. The only reason he's saying all that is to try and save face. If you forgive him then
    via u/SignificantOrange139
  • 27
    he's right that it's "just a piece of plastic" and he'll keep treating you this way. Go through with this divorce. I suspect you'll be much happier.
    via u/SignificantOrange139
  • 28
    TwilightTink · 2 days ago Exactly. He got rid of something she loved and he did it just to hurt her. How could you stay with someone
    via u/TwilightTink
  • 29
    BlazingSunflowerl and 1 day ago It was a power move. He decided to dominate her and disrespect her and can't believe she
    via u/BlazingSunflowerland
  • 30
    would leave over a "little" disrespect. When you reach the point that you hate them you may as well leave. If he actually
    via u/BlazingSunflowerland
  • 31
    liked OP he wouldn't destroy her things. When you respect someone you respect the things that
    via u/BlazingSunflowerland
  • 32
    belong to that someone. This was a massive FU to the OP from her husband.
    via u/BlazingSunflowerland
  • 33
    Gullible_Fan4427 1 day ago Reading her edit, sounds like he's always been a controlling OP, do your self a favour and divorce this
    via u/Gullible_Fan4427
  • 34
    ! Atleast now you can start your puzzle collection anew without him giving you unfounded grief for it! Think of all the nossibilities
    via u/Gullible_Fan4427
  • 35
    graveybrains. 17 hr. ago Yeah, that whole "I cheated" part is up. no she didn't!
    via u/graveybrains
  • 36
    Middle_Loan3715. 1 day ago My wife HATES my cosplay hobby but would never trash them. I am not a fan of football AT ALL but I don't criticize her watching her team play and even
    via u/Middle_Loan3715
  • 37
    decorated the bathroom in her team's colors. I would agree with divorce because this is gaslighting and being emotionally abusive.
    via u/Middle_Loan3715
  • 38
    takethepressuedown. 1 day ago Agree. This is a giant man- baby having a tantrum he isn't getting enough attention. If won't end with the puzzles.
    via u/takethepressuedown

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hilarious marriage drama puzzle relationships lol divorce love silly reddit thread red flag Reddit funny dating
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