22-year-old man pays for fiancée's family meal at his uncle's restaurant, they leave a $1 tip and protest when he refuses to pay in future: 'A $1 tip is insultingly low'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 4, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

When a relationship gets serious, one of the trickiest things about it can be surviving the introduction to your significant other's family. You've got to somehow pass the test of acceptability based on standards and values that you may only know basic information about, and on top of that, you may have to put up with family members who are challenging to be around, even when you are related to them.

This is something that many try and fail to do. Sometimes, the reasons for this are understandable, and other times, they appear to be nothing short of ridiculous. All families have their quirks, but some are less socially acceptable than others and can cause friction when somebody introduces a new partner into the mix. It can be easy to feel snubbed or taken advantage of when you are getting to know a partner's family, and unfortunately, those feelings are often valid.

 

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    Cheezburger Image 10501109248
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One man had an altercation that fell under this category recently, after paying for a meal at the restaurant his uncle owned for his fiancée and her family, on the agreement that they would cover the tip. 

    Learning from his cousins that they had only left $1, he told them that their stinginess meant that he did not want to pay for their food again. While his future family-in-law took great offence to this, and he wanted validation for his reaction to their behavior.

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    AITA for deciding not to buy food for my fiancée's family anymore?

    Every other week, my fiancée (22F) and I (23M) go out to eat with her family, and last week, we went to a Korean BBQ restaurant owned by my uncle (59M), where I paid for everyone's meal. I only asked them to cover the tip for the waitress, which they agreed to do so. The total bill was over $240, and I paid. Usually, when I cover the tab for my friends or significant other, they generously tip since they're only responsible for the gratuity, not the cost of the meal itself.
    via totallynotprnact
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    However, a few days ago, my cousins (21M) revealed that they had only left a $1 tip and they have tip only 1 dollars before. I was shocked and disappointed because a $1 tip is insultingly low, especially considering I had treated them to alcol and dessert. So, I discussed this issue with my fiancée, but her family insists they never tip or only pays like 1 dollar for tip at restaurants/general services. This is happening in the USA.
    via totallynotprnact
  • 04
    As a result, I informed my fiancée our bi-weekly restaurant outings would have to change. I also have informed to my fiancée about this. I told her that I had only paid for their meals as a kind gesture. While my fiancée was annoyed, she ultimately understood.
    via totallynotprnact
  • 05
    Yesterday, they asked if I would buy their food again next week, to which I responded that they'll need to cover their own expenses for their meal. I didn't want to confront them about their habit of tipping only a dollar, so I decided to handle it differently this time and simply pretend to cover the tip for them. Her family did not took that so well. They accused me of being ungrateful, arguing that they were the ones taking time to meet up with me bi-weekly and that asking them to tip was unr
    via totallynotprnact
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    My fiancée was surprisingly on my side, she knew her family had this issue. She just didn't have courage to inform them about it.
    via totallynotprnact
  • 07
    AITA for deciding not to buy food for my fiancée's family anymore? Update 1: I didn't break up with her, but her family is furious I send top upvoted reply. They refuse to talk to me. They've called my fiancée multiple times, saying things like, 'Is this how Koreans do their business?' and suggesting she should break up with that along with other offensive and more r cist remarks.
    via totallynotprnact
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    ONE NHOP ON UUED STA ANNUIT COEPTIS IN GODY O
    via Ilya Chunin
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    Commenters were horrified on the man's behalf.

    PastaQueen25 NTA $1???? Yeah I wouldn't be going out to eat with them again
    via PastaQueen25
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    Sure-Acadia-4376 Agreed. I wonder if OP and their family are even that "wealthy" or are just a bit better off. You'd be surprised at what some people consider wealthy when they think that you have more than them.
    via Sure-Acadia-4376
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    HotPinkLollyWimple The whole thing is just appalling bad manners. I'm not American, so tipping isn't as much of an issue here, but having worked hospitality, I always leave as generous a tip as possible - as long as the service is good. Until the in-laws learn some manners, I wouldn't be paying for anything for them. NTA.
    via HotPinkLollyWimple
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    totallynotp rnact OP She is aware of her family issue. She only found out that her family issue has issue, but never figure out until she was 20. She is trying to fix herself. I will guide her into better direction.
    via totallynotprnact
  • 13
    Catwomaninred NTA but let me be clear, your fiancee is like them. She knew they only left 1 $ and did nothing to avoid this and show respect to your familly because they own the restaurant. She just hide it a little better until you two are married, you need a prenup.
    via Catwomaninred
  • 14
    NanaLeonie INFO: Your fiancee knew her family only left a $ tip on $240 meal and she didn't put in the tip herself? Think carefully, OP.
    via NanaLeonie
  • 15
    since my family is wealthy, it's only fair that I continue paying for their meals. You need to set them straight, right now. If you don't, this is your life in three years: you've married her, and now her family insists that because your family is wealthy, it's "only fair" that you pay for their dream vacation / new car / vacation home in the Hamptons / whatever. Warning: the "them" part of "set them straight" might include your fiancée as well, if she's supporting/ condoning this behavior. If s
    via NanaLeonie
  • 16
    PingPongProfessor Lemme make sure I understand this... Every other week, you take them out to dinner and pay for their meals... and they have the nerve to call you "ungrateful"?? Because "they are the ones taking time to meet up with you"? They have an unreasonably high opinion of themselves, and you are NTA here. The next part is the real jewel in this crown, though: since my family is wealthy, it's only fair that I continue paying for their meals.
    via PingPongProfessor
  • 17
    RedSAuthor Her family is mooching off you and you were supposed to stop paying for them a long time ago. Your fiancee knew they're moochers. She knew they were tipping only $1. She didn't tell you about it until you found out another way. Do you really want to marry that woman? She was fine with her family milking you for money as her boyfriend/fiance -- do you think things will change after you get married? Make sure to get a prenup if you stay in that relationship. NTA I hope you think hard ab
    via RedSAuthor
  • 18
    Apart-Ad-6518 Totally NTA "a $1 tip is insultingly low" Exactly. "arguing that they were the ones taking time to meet up with me bi-weekly and that asking them to tip was unreasonable in the beginning. So they use their precious time to meet you & get paid for. How awful that must be for them, being forced to do that. /s "They also suggested that since my family is wealthy, it's only fair that I continue paying for their meals." They can suggest all they like. They sound entitled A F. It's total
    via Apart-Ad-6518
  • 19
    thumpmyponcho Not tipping in the US is not ok. If you don't have enough to give a proper tip, then you don't have enough to eat out in that place. Also funny that they are calling you ungrateful, when you've been paying for their food. But they've been making time for you!? How gracious of them to bless you with their presence. NTA of course. They don't respect you, and they don't respect people working in hospitality. Let them eat at home.
    via thumpmyponcho
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    BulbasaurRanch "Arguing they were the ones taking time to meet up with me bi-weekly" • lol • just reply 'I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was such a burden for you. Going forward we can stop getting together bi-weekly then. I didn't realize you considered it such a sacrifice, and I can't in good conscience keep asking you to make such a sacrifice'. You don't owe these people anything. They are trying to take advantage of you. Stop letting them try. NTA
    via BulbasaurRanch
  • 21
    baronessindecisive Please tell me that you went back and fixed the lack of tip for the server at your uncle's restaurant... (figuring that's one you can address, at least, given that it's recent and a place you know)
    via baronessindecisive
  • 22
    totallynotp rnact OP I might actually use that. thanks.
    via totallynotprnact
  • 23
    NTA. JsCTmav Clearly you're ungrateful to them for being so generous in giving you their time, so you deserve a punishment for that. From now on, you no longer will be allowed to enjoy their company on a regular basis - meaning no dinners. I know, it's really unfair, but until you learn to be more appreciative then you do not have any right to enjoy such wonderful company.
    via JsCTmav

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aita meal paying tipping restaurant argument stingy family reddit thread fiancé Reddit
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