‘Sorry not sorry’: Woman Refuses to Include Stepdaughter on Family Vacation, Despite Inviting the Rest of the Family

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Mar 18, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Marriage is a sacred commitment that is entered into with eternity in mind. Occasionally, though, irreconcilable differences lead to the end of a marriage.   Breakups are painful at best, but when kids are involved, matters get significantly more difficult…

The story that follows is of a frustrated step mom. The Original Poster (OP) and her partner are both parents to children from previous relationships. OP has one child, whereas her now-husband, has three. After getting married, they successfully conceived and welcomed a stunning daughter into their family. Overall, everything was moving along quite nicely. The couple was trying their best to handle the challenges of having a blended family, and the kids were getting along well. 

Therefore, OP was quite upset when her stepdaughter decided to stand by her mother amid the divorce. She acted rebelliously for years, refusing to acknowledge the reality of the separation. However, things took a turn for the worse when OP refused to invite her stepdaughter on a trip that the husband was unable to attend.

So be sure to read the story below if you're interested in learning if OP gave in to her husband's desire and his wish to include all of his children! After you're done, don't forget to read the account of the husband that is convinced that stay at home wife does nothing after taking over her duties for 1 week!

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    "As you said, you're not my daughter..."
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA for refusing to take my step-daughter with me on vacation?
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 03
    When I met my husband, he had three kids. They were 6/F, 5/M and 3/F and I also had a 4 year old girl. We got married 2 years later. I had another girl 5 years later. At first the kids were at their mom's on weekdays and with us on weekends. His 2 older kids adored me while the youngest, Robin, was colder to me. It
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 04
    wasn't so bad then. A year into our marriage, their mother told my husband that she couldn't raise them on her own. Either he went back to her or raised them himself. Their mother would only try to spend time with them a couple of days in a month. Robin started treating me worse as the years went on. She would get extremely
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 05
    hostile towards me, especially right after spending time with her mom. It was clear to all of us that her mom was trying to make the kids hate me. It didn't work with oldest kids who quickly started calling me mom on their own. I've grown to love them like I love my bio kids. I once referred to all of them as "my kids" to someone and Robin got so upset and said "I'm not her kid!".
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 06
    She was always distant but polite with my older bio daughter. Sometimes she would be playing with the baby until I came into the room and then she'd stop and start complaining, saying things like "get your annoying daughter away from me". I would get her gifts and she would thank her father because it's "his money" disregarding the fact that I picked out the gift. She would always
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 07
    complain about my cooking and refuse. to eat sometimes. Everyone loves my food so it's clear she is just being mean. When spending time as a family, she to only me and just would be very ignore me on a good day. Recently, my family and I all planned to spend a month abroad this summer. My husband isn't coming because of work.
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 08
    I'm planning to take the kids with me except for Robin. When I first mentioned this to my husband, he agreed. Neither of us even thought she would want to go with me without her father. I went to visit my family with the kids a few times before while she stayed with her aunt (Robin's mother d d two years ago).
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 09
    When she found out, she was angry and says that she deserves to go. My husband begged me to take her but I refused. I want to relax and enjoy life with my kids and family who love me. I feel like I deserve it. Taking her without her father being there means i have to keep an eye on her on my own and deal with her not listening to me and being
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 10
    My husband said she told him she will be on her best behavior. I said I don't trust her. He even told me that he would with send her aunt and cousins with us, so that she could watch her there. I refused because this is a family vacation and I don't want a strange family tagging along. Plus, he could just send them all on a separate vacation
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 11
    away from me. He refused because she wants to be with her siblings. I really need objective opinions on this. Am I being an a ole by refusing to let her go with me? Edit: Robin is 14 now.
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 12
    Chiquita BananaKush 22 hr. ago Craptain [179] ΝΤΑ my husband said she told him she will be on her best behavior. The fact that she told him and not you, proves it will be exactly how you imagine.
    via u/ChiquitaBananaKush
  • 13
    Yankeeangel988 23 hr. ago Partassipant [4] I feel like kind of? She's a kid. You could try a heart to heart with her and/or therapy. You have to know that her mother had to have convinced her that it was your fault she couldn't stay with her mom. It sounds to me like Robin is angry, and resentful. Her mom is d d, she
    via u/Yankeeangel988
  • 14
    barely saw her after her mom pulled the nonsense of not being able to care for her kids herself. Have you tried therapy? This could if you set it up right be a trip that changes your relationship. I would say that it's really unhealthy for everyone that this is just allowed to continue
    via u/Yankeeangel988
  • 15
    Plane_Reaction_5746 OP 23 hr. ago I've always known she is angry and resentful. She went to therapy a few time but refused to continue. Her father doesn't want to pressure her anymore about it. I've tried talking to her so many ways over the years. I even cried on multiple occasions and begged her
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 16
    to be nice to me. I've basically raised her since her father works so much, but she just hates me. We've been on vacations before and she really dampened my mood even with her father with us. A lot of the times when her rudeness towards me gets out of hand and I keep quiet her siblings start fighting with her over it. She
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 17
    makes spending time with each other so tense. I can't even imagine how bad it will get without her dad there for a whole month.
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 18
    dmv-curvy 23 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA. The stepdaughter's actions have finally met consequences.
    via u/dmv-curvy
  • 19
    Balawulf 22 hr. ago NTA. Your husband should have dealt with her attitude.
    via u/Balawulf
  • 20
    Isyourmammaallama 23 hr. ago . edited 23 hr. ago Partassipant [4] Nta because of her treatment of you. Managing a sullen and defiant 14 yo with a lot of kids would be a dangerous situation if the kid has always hated you
    via u/Isyourmammaallama
  • 21
    Present_Amphibian832 22 hr. ago • Robin already ruined the relationship. But vacas are always fun, of course she wants to go. I would NOT take her. She's mean and disrespectful. I wouldn't believe her either, she already let you know how she feels about you. Why would you reward bad behavior. Will this put a bigger wedge between you, probably. But she doesn't like you anyway. NTA
    via u/Present_Amphibian832
  • 22
    Alternative-Gur-6208 · 22 hr. ago Partassipant [4] No judgment. I'd just push your husband into getting her therapy. It sounds like she was very young when her parents split up and the mother tried to get him back and it didn't work she abandoned her kids. And then passed away. So I think that this child has trauma and
    via u/Alternative-Gur-6208
  • 23
    abandonment issues and she's taking her anger out on you. So while I think your nta because she's hurt you. She's still a child and has been hurt to. Hurt ppl, hurt ppl. Get her therapy and don't take no for an answer.
    via u/Alternative-Gur-6208
  • 24
    holliday_doc_1995 · 23 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [21] This is a really tough situation. You should absolutely not have to take a kid on vacation who does not respect you or care for you. That isn't a burden you need to carry and the fact that she doesn't feel that you are her mother or an authority figure is worrying as she may be less likely to
    via u/holliday_doc_1995
  • 25
    listen to you and this can lead to dangerous situations when in an unfamiliar country. That said, excluding her and only her is also really hurtful to her. It may have been better to only take your biological children and set up a fun visit with the aunt for all the step kids so that step daughter isn't excluded.
    via u/holliday_doc_1995
  • 26
    I also think it may have been better to tell your step daughter about the trip way way in advance and let her know that currently you don't trust her and aren't comfortable taking her. If she wants to try to earn your trust in the coming months so that she can go on the trip, then she can do that. Basically if she treats you poorly, she
    via u/holliday_doc_1995
  • 27
    is axed from the trip and she can't complain because she was given the opportunity to come and she ruined it. Further still, why hasn't her blatant disrespect been squashed hard by her father? She doesn't have to like you, be warm to you, or even interact with you much but the behaviors you
    via u/holliday_doc_1995
  • 28
    mentioned are atrocious and should have been corrected years ago. Overall I'm somewhere between E S H and NA H
    via u/holliday_doc_1995
  • 29
    Plane_Reaction_5746 OP 23 hr. ago I could never exclude my other step kids that way because they treated me with love and always seen me as their mother and I love them as much as I love my bio kids.
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 30
    We didn't even think to mentioned it to her beforehand because every time I spent holidays with my family she would refuse to come with me and her siblings.
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 31
    Even now, after she promised her dad she will be on her best behavior, the same day she started badmouthing me to her sibling talking about how my true colors were showing. She is not even trying to pretend to be polite for just one day.
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746
  • 32
    Honestly, he's tried pretty much everything. She does tend to just ignore me when he is around though. Neither of us have anymore solutions to her attitude with me.
    via u/Plane_Reaction_5746

Tags

oddly specific ask reddit family drama marriage kids stepmom relationship-drama reddit story family feud divorce karens in the wild entitled trip family vacation karen entitled people
Scroll Down For The Next Article