'You're a man, don't cry': Woman Laughs at Boyfriend For Crying After He Gets Fired, Her Friend Informs Her That 'She's the Problem' and Gives Her a Lesson in Harmful Stereotypes

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 22, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Welcome gals of the internet. Let's take some time to discuss mental health. I know, it's not always a topic we want to think about, and sometimes it's better when we don't. But whether we acknowledge it or not, it's ever present and ignoring signs of sadness, depression, or anxiety. 

For women, it's more socially acceptable to be in touch with your emotions, in ways of verbally expressing them, as well as other expressions such as crying. But for guys, we all understand the pressure they have to constantly keep it together, to act like nothing happened, to repress and ignore what they feel. This Reddit piece highlights the difficulty of suppressing yourself, and how the 'toxic masculinity' epidemic is a real problem. 

What even is 'manly?' Usually it's associated with qualities like assertiveness, strength, and protection. But why can't a man have all of these, and also cry? Let the Reddit thread do the talking. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH ⚫ 16 hr. ago WarmAge9940 AITAH for tearing my friend apart in front of people for saying that her boyfriend "shouldn't cry"?
    via u/WarmAge9940
  • 02
    I was having a girls night/dinner with a few friends last week and the conversation came around to relationships. My friend has been dating this guy for two years and he is really sweet. They have been having issues for a little while. I love my friend but this is her first serious relationship and she doesn't seem to understand that relationships can be complex and things aren't always
    via u/WarmAge9940
  • 03
    going to be perfect. She often complains about the fact that he always wants to spend time with her, isn't manly enough, can be clingy and doesn't go out as much as she would like him to. Her points are fair, these things come down to personal preference. The issue is that she is always dragging him down in front of us. She doesn't ever seem to have
    via u/WarmAge9940
  • 04
    anything nice to say about him and generally doesn't treat him that well. He is madly in love with her and so he often doesn't stand up for himself. I feel bad for him but I also try to empathize with my friend since she doesn't have much experience with dating. Last week, she was going on another rant about him but this time it was
    via u/WarmAge9940
  • 05
    completely ridiculous. He had just lost his job and went over to her house to spend some time with her. Halfway through their hangout he started tearing up because he didn't know what he was going to do and still had student loans to pay off. She started saying how frustrating it was to deal with him that day and that he was "too sensitive" and men "shouldn't cry like that". She went on
    via u/WarmAge9940
  • 06
    to say how much of a turn off it was and that she couldn't look at him the same anymore. I told her that she was being extremely unreasonable and that everyone should be allowed to express their emotions, especially after a bad day. I told her that it's women like her that have created the mental health epidemic in men and
    via u/WarmAge9940
  • 07
    that if she wanted a "real" man she could go find some on tinder instead. My other friends were dead silent. She was extremely frustrated with me. She was passive with me the whole night and didn't even hug me when we said bye.
    via u/WarmAge9940
  • 08
    None of my friends have brought it up and she hasn't spoken to me since last week. AITAH for telling her off in front of our friends?
    via u/WarmAge9940
  • 09
    EDIT: I'm a lesbian so I've had a lot of male friends growing up. I've seen firsthand that men can be equally as emotional as women. I've only been in relationships with women so I've always treated my partner as an equal (mentally, emotionally and financially) and I never understood why hetero relationships should be any different.
    via u/WarmAge9940
  • 10
    The_Crown_And_Anc... • 16h ago NTAH Are you sure you want to keep being friend's with this woman?
    via u/The_Crown_And_Anc
  • 11
    Historical-State-275 • 16h ago Nope. NTA. You did the right thing. When she's crying about how she can't find a good man, feel free to remind her.
    via u/Historical-State-275
  • 12
    Dry-Measurement-8... • 16h ago NTA - As a man who went through almost the exact situation with his ex-wife. Your . She friend sounds like a just needs to break up with him and go find a "manlier" man to give her what she wants rather than sit there and lead this guy on so she can use him as a door mat. Despicable
    via u/Dry-Measurement-8
  • 13
    door mat. Despicable woman in my opinion. One thing to have a preference a completely other thing to just stick with the dude and continuously ridicule and belittle him.
    via u/Dry-Measurement-8
  • 14
    Boring_Pace5158 • 16h ago NTA, you're absolutely right about guys aren't allowed to be vulnerable, especially in front of our partners.
    via u/Boring_Pace5158
  • 15
    Also, regardless of gender, you do not bad mouth your partner to other people. If she has problems with her bf, she can tell you in a respectful way with the intent of using your feedback to make the relationship better.
    via u/Boring_Pace5158
  • 16
    JanetInSpain 16h ago NTA that poor guy. Your friend is a ☐. He deserves someone so much better than her. You are right. It IS women like her that cause men to clam up and do everything from die of hypertension/heart attacks to turning violent and going on mass shootings. Shame on her. Good on you for trying to set
    via u/JanetInSpain
  • 17
    Good on you for trying to set her straight but it might be a lost cause. Maybe be a friend to the poor guy who is being emotionally abused by her.
    via u/JanetInSpain
  • 18
    . Pennsylvania Dutchess 16h ago NTA. You're 100% right and it was about time she heard how ridiculous she's been being and how messed up her views are. People like her are why we have such a nasty toxic masculinity problem in this world. Men should be able to be vulnerable, feel their emotions, and process them in
    via u/Pennsylvania Dutchess
  • 19
    a safe, loving, healthy environment. Can't look at her boyfriend the same way because he was upset and cried in front of her? She needs to sit ALL the way down with that. Seriously. Were I in your shoes. all the times prior she was slamming on him for the AUDACITY of wanting to be with her or being more of a
    via u/Pennsylvania Dutchess
  • 20
    homebody I'd have seriously asked her straight up "Do you even like this dude? Because it really doesn't sound like it." The kindest thing she could do would be to break up with him so he could find somebody that could actually care and appreciate him as a human being and doesn't want to change him so he's more
    via u/Pennsylvania Dutchess
  • 21
    'manly' (whatever tf that means). This has NOTHING to do with her inexperience with dating and everything to do with her god awful personality. Honestly I'd consider her silence a gift and phase her right out of my life. You're better off without a 'friend' like her that is so
    via u/Pennsylvania Dutchess
  • 22
    superficial and toxic. Not sure how old y'all are but if I was basing it off of how your friend acts/thinks? I'd guess she's between 13 and 16 because her attitude is 100% Playskool-level kid ......
    via u/Pennsylvania Dutchess
  • 23
    Zerosdeath 16h ago Wtf? So? He wants to be around her because he actually really likes her, and he is clingy? Sshould he chew Skoal, and be a jerk? This girl sounds toxic.
    via u/Zerosdeath

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men drama emotional relationships masculinity lol love manly reddit thread red flag Reddit funny women crying dating
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