‘Leave immediately’: Manager kicks server off shift, ordering them to go home and change clothes in order to comply with dress code

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Apr 1, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Enforcing a dress code on employees is a tale as old as time. And in some cases, I get it. You knew what you were getting into when starting working there. Other times, I don't get it. That is, when managers are inconsistent in terms of their expectations. One day they say this, the other day they say that… Who is to know what is right? This server was completely at a loss after being kicked off shift for not complying with the dress code… Even though two weeks prior, they had been told that this outfit was totally 'okay', and even encouraged to continue showing up like that to work.

Apparently the manager who told her off was known to be unpredictable, and this caused a lot of unnecessary stress in the workplace. What do you think, is the manager in the right or the wrong? Scroll down to read the rest of the story, and then check out this comedic canvas of classical art memes that paint funnies in a portrait.

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  • 01
    "You need to leave and change immediately."
    via Canva
  • 02
    Management's dress code enforcement is making me uncomfortable
    via u/redwoodvelvet
  • 03
    The restaurant I work at has a professional dress code. I actually really liked dressing up for work so I love this. During training, one of my managers told me what I was wearing that day was perfectly understanding the dress code and expectations, and to keep it up. So I wore the exact same outfit two weeks later. Immediately after clocking in (I literally hadn't even spoken to or seen a customer) a different manager (I've complained of her in a previous post) pulled me aside (in the middle of
    via u/redwoodvelvet
  • 04
    co workers and customers) and told me my outfit was inappropriate and that I needed to leave and change immediately. I literally nearly teared up in frustration. I just worked a shift with a girl in Yoga pants, and the woman who is dress coding me has been wearing the boldest outfits/ make up out of all of this. She won't even let me wear certain things I see every other host (and herself, the manager) wear all the time. I don't understand how one manager would look at the outfit and say it's pe
    via u/redwoodvelvet
  • 05
    I told her that I found it inconsistent that I was being told such drastically different things from different managers at the same facility, and her response was a attempt to guilt trip me and make me feel bad for the fact that she would not have to talk to another manager about how to better enforce the dress code. First of all, it was absolutely bizarre to have this woman fully complaining to me about having to do her job, and second, I have never been more tempted in my entire life to quit o
    via u/redwoodvelvet
  • 06
    When I told her I was not going to be going home and changing and then coming back — that I would either be staying and working my shift, or I would be going home for the rest of the day, she told me that I needed to stay an interesting detail that she told me is that she had already spoken to the other managers about my outfit who are in that day, and that both of them had agreed with her that it was inappropriate... but like I said, I had literally just clocked in. I had just put my purse down
    via u/redwoodvelvet
  • 07
    Editing to add that the outfit in question was a long sleeve turtleneck and black pants with a slight sheen. (The sheen was the thing they were so concerned about. I want to be clear they aren't sparkly, etc, think more vintage leather office pants.) Again, the assistant manager had told me two weeks before they were fine. I'm not super close with anybody at this restaurant, but I did ask a coworker if he felt that the woman who was dress coding me was following the rules that she was setting, a
    via u/redwoodvelvet
  • 08
    magiccitybhm · 15 hr. ago I'd speak with the GM and suggest that they get some consistency among the managerial staff in terms of what is and isn't appropriate attire. Explain to the GM that you wore what a manager told you at your interview was "perfect," and two weeks later, another manager tried to send you home for the same outfit. 575 Reply Share redwoodvelvet OP. 15 hr. ago It wasn't even my interview outfit, it was what I wore to one of my first shifts 244 Reply Share
    via u/magiccitybhm, u.redwoodvelvet
  • 09
    magiccitybhm 15 hr. ago You've gotten two drastically different responses from two different managers. If the GM can't get the staff on the same page, or at least close, that's a problem (and not just for dress code). 239 Reply Share Aylauria 13 hr. ago I don't remotely believe she talked to all the other managers and they agreed with her. 121 Reply Share
    via u/magiccitybhm, u/Aylauria
  • 10
    icemage_999 15 hr. ago During training, one of my managers told me what I was wearing that day was perfectly understanding the dress code and expectations, and to keep it up. Escalate through THIS manager. Explain what happened, ask for clarification and express frustration at the inconsistency, especially as you are literally trying to abide by company policy. Keep it professional, but push for escalation. This is a management issue that managers need to resolve, don't frame it as a "you" issue
    via u/icemage_999
  • 11
    joesmanbun 13 hr. ago When I was a server my boss was really erratic and so we walked on eggshells most of the time. Once I had a low side ponytail and she complimented me on it. So, I wore a side ponytail most shifts. One day she goes...I don't like your hair like that can you go fix it? And I was like wait you told me you liked it like this and she replied i NEVER would have said that. Same person. 56 Reply Share ...
    via u/joesmanbun
  • 12
    reb678 15 hr. ago If I had a manager call me out in front of staff and customers, I'd leave and seek employment elsewhere. That's BS. Praise in Public, discipline in private. 104 Reply Share
    via u/reb678
  • 13
    Germacide 15 hr. ago Cook She Jelly 93 Reply Share redwoodvelvet OP 15 hr. ago I softly agree, she has told as much (she overheard me discussing my weight w another coworker and loudly said MUST BE NICE) 88 Reply Share ...
    via u/Germacide, u/redwoodvelvet
  • 14
    SimpleDisastrous4483 14 hr. ago I'd be willing to bet real cash money that she hadn't spoken to anyone else. up to justify her own manager was just making actions. I agree with the person who said to raise this with the original manager. Fundamentally it's on the two of them to get their story straight. 36 Reply Share
    via u/SimpleDisastrous4483
  • 15
    redwoodvelvet OP 14 hr. ago At this point, there's at least three managers that are involved. The one who told me that my outfit was fine originally, the one who told me that she was uncomfortable with my outfit, and the manager that she said she had spoken to about the outfit that agreed with her. She also kind of implied that a fourth manager might've been involved in that conversation about my pants. Regardless, I don't like that 3 to 4 people are all talking about my 18 Reply Share
    via u/redwoodvelvet
  • 16
    Luckyzzzz. 12 hr. ago I thought the issue was the fabric of your pants? looked in them? Not the way your 6 Reply Share redwoodvelvet OP. 12 hr. ago She insisted that we have a rule against leather pants, which I cannot find anywhere in any of our materials. I know we have the expectation of dressing professionally and not wearing leggings or jeans, but no one said anything about leather. 4 Reply Share
    via u/redwoodvelvet, u/Luckyzzzz
  • 17
    marilynmc777. 12 hr. ago Ten bucks says you look great and they are jealous 11 Reply Share redwoodvelvet OP. 12 hr. ago She looks great too! We have very different looks but we both serve 8 ☆ Reply Share
    via u/redwoodvelvet, u/marliynmc777
  • 18
    yordad 6 hr. ago Hey sometimes even when people look great, they don't feel like it. I'm wondering along with some other people if she is indeed, jelly 3 Reply Share redwoodvelvet OP. 6 hr. ago That does appear to be the consensus 1 Reply Share
    via u/redwoodvelvet, u/yordad
  • 19
    Mackheath1 12 hr. ago There's something going on. This isn't just mis-communication or differences of opinions, she's singling you out. I don't know for what, but it is probably petty (and definitely poor management style). 11 Reply Share
    via u/Mackhealth1

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apron coworkers customers clothes boss employees dress code server restaurant waiter management training waitress working tales from your server workplace stories reddit
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