'Pay her? Get outta here, I'm her dad': Woman sells husband's watch to pay for his birthday cake, infuriates entire family

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 7, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

The dynamics in this family are a big mess. U/F54tughi556 can tell you all about it, because they had an interesting question for r/AmItheA******. 

The tale revolves around a birthday cake. Some people don't care at all about their birthday cake, and just bring out a package of cupcakes from the grocery store. But to others, especially those who love to share their lives online, having a pretty cake is a major part of a birthday celebration. It's a nice way to remember your special day. This person even has a baker in the family: their daughter. She loves to bake, so she's been making some money on the side by selling her baked goods to the people around her. For her stepdad's 45th birthday, the stepdad requested she make him a cake, and she agreed to it. But then the original poster of this tale made a series of off-the-wall decisions, and the AITA community let them know just how bizarre they were acting. 

You can check the whole story out below, along with comments from people who told them they were wrong. Then, read about the customer who drove all the way over to the bank, boiling with anger, because he didn't want to press 1 for English on the phone. 

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  • 01
    Happy Branday
    via Imants Kaziļuns on Unsplash
  • 02
    AITA for returning my husband's birthday gift to pay for the birthday cake my daughter baked after he refused to pay her?
    via u/F54tughi556
  • 03
    Basically the title. My daughter (16) has a thing for baking, she bakes cakes and some (I said some not all!) sweets and makes money out of it by selling her work to relatives, friends and supposedly us!
    via u/F54tughi556
  • 04
    My husband's (Her stepdad) 45th birthday took place. days ago. He asked my daughter to bake him the birthday cake and she agreed. I told him about paying her to which he responded with "pfff pay her? Get outta here, I'm her dad!". I insisted seeing she's "a yes" person and a people's pleaser so won't outright demand the money from him. He said
    via u/F54tughi556
  • 05
    he'd pay but days went by and he didn't pay her a cent. I decided to go ahead and sell the wrist watch I bought him as his birthday cake and pay her for her. He foubd out and went off on me. I told him he had rnough time and shouldve paid her seven before he recieved the cake. He said
    via u/F54tughi556
  • 06
    that I was teaching her to treat familial relationship as "transactional" and raiding her to be "materialistic". I explained the time, effort and even money she put towards making the cake but he lashed out verbally calling me an asshlle for making this move and for enabling my daughter to expect so much from family that she's supposed to help with nothing in return.
    via u/F54tughi556
  • 07
    He's furious and told almost the whole family about how I took back his birthday gift and returned it. I got enough shame from family members to begin to think that I might be an for how I dealt with this.
    via u/F54tughi556
  • 08
    AITA? Ya'll, my daughter did want and expect to be paid. If she intended for it to be for free then I would have kept my mouth shut. And also the wristwatch idn't expensive. I kept the rest of the money after giving my daughter her share.
    via u/F54tughi556
  • 09
    FunkyOrangePenguin Info: did he think the cake was her gift to him? Who pays for the supplies? Do you pay for your own birthday cake if she makes it? I find it strange that you'd make him pay for his own birthday cake rather than pay for it yourself. Who asks someone to pay for their own birthday
    via u/FunkyOrangePenguin
  • 10
    cake? YTA. Edit: Daughter doesn't pay for supplies. OP does. 30.1k Share ... judgingA-holes • I was thinking the same thing. Couldn't the cake be the daughter's gift to him? And even if
    via u/FunkyOrangePenguin
  • 11
    not, then why didn't the OP just pay for the cake since it was the husband's birthday
    via u/judgingA-holes
  • 12
    1962Michael YTA. I have never in my life. heard of a person expecting to get paid for making a close relative's birthday cake. I mean, if your daughter owned a bakery, and your husband went in and put in an order for a cake, yes.
    via u/1962Michael
  • 13
    And SERIOUSLY, as his wife it would be normal that YOU provide the birthday cake, whether you make it yourself or buy one at the local bakery. So if YOU wanted your daughter to make your husband a cake, AND you wanted her to be paid for her work, then YOU should have paid her to begin with.
    via u/1962Michael
  • 14
    AdeptFisherman7 · This is one of the most bizarre posts I've ever seen. I'm not gonna call anyone an because I think a lot of it comes down to gory details about timeframes and who directly asked what of whom, but this is an extremely strange thing to litigate this hard. Who the expects a family
    via u/AdeptFisherman7
  • 15
    member to pay them for a birthday cake on their own birthday? Who wages a proxy war about it on behalf of someone who apparently doesn't want payment enough to advocate for it themselves? And then returns a present as revenge instead of just reminding him? But also who puts their wife on blast to the entire family over a birthday present?
    via u/AdeptFisherman7
  • 16
    I diagnose you all with weird and petty disease, your sentence is to drink a glass of water and count to 10.
    via u/AdeptFisherman7
  • 17
    Ceecee_soup YTA since it was HIS birthday it kind of seems like YOU should have paid for the cake. Nobody else buys their own birthday cake, why should he?? Or the daughter could have done it for him as her birthday present. The way you treated this situation definitely ruined his birthday.
    via u/Ceecee_soup
  • 18
    Not-nuts YTA, she can't afford to make her dad a birthday cake, or you couldn't pay her? It's his birthday for God's sake. You sound petty.
    via u/Not-nuts
  • 19
    Joella-is-angry YTA. If someone REALLY had to pay for your HUSBAND'S birthday cake, it should have been YOU. It was his birthday. You want him to PAY OTHERS for his birthday gifts? Who TF pays someone else for their birthday cake, on their birthday? A cake is a GIFT.
    via u/Joella-is-angry
  • 20
    Why didn't you pay your daughter? Why didn't your daughter bake it as a gift? How much did you demand for her cake? ETA - you sold the watch, gave the daughter her cut and KEPT THE REST and you STILL don't understand how that's an AH move?
    via u/Joella-is-angry
  • 21
    You absolutely destroyed your spouse's birthday, because you're too busy trying to make everything into transactional contracts. Good job.
    via u/Joella-is-angry

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cake aita birthday cakes husband family birthday cake daughter
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