'I can't work past 4pm anymore': Most Entertaining Ways Pets Condition Their Owners

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Apr 13, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

Our pets have such a big effect on our lives. My cat has undoubtedly left her paw print on my daily routine in countless ways. One amusing example would be that at 6 am sharp I am up and about, ready to make my critter breakfast. If I am late, she will unabashedly let me know, yowling at the top of her lungs to let me know she is unhappy with me. The second her little tongue starts licking at the tuna in the bowl though, she goes quiet, except for a few grumbles.

Plus, she totally conditions my bedtime routine. She takes one pillow, and I take the other. It's like a pact, one I don't recall making. One day, it just came to be. She will also try taking half of my pillow during the night, but I am adamant to keep it for myself. What do your pets do? Scroll down for an entertaining thread of hilarious stories by pet owners who love their cute critters.

Then check out these funny random memes for employees who need a vacation.

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  • 01
    accidentally What has your pet conditioned you to do?
    via u/deleted
  • 02
    Mortambulist I have a cat that plays fetch, very insistently. She brings me her toy mouse, and if I don't throw it for her, she sits on my laptop keyboard. Of course this all started when I would throw the mouse to keep her from sitting on my laptop. 26.9k Share ... Stina0620 My cat does that too! He broke the feather part off his string toy and he'll drop it on my face while I sleep if he wants to play lol 6.8k Share ...
    via u/Mortambulist, u/Stina0620
  • 03
    SlyFunky Monk My cattle dog knows if he coughs on my face in the morning, I will get up and wash it. then now I guess I am just up. Also, for one cat I leave the toilet seat up so she can pee. Otherwise she will go down the sink and that feels wrong. 2.5k Share bungmunch toilet cats are the best. 942 Share ...
    via u/SlyFunkyMonk, u/bungmunch
  • 04
    [deleted] I open the tinfoil as quietly as possible. My cat loves tin foil balls, and whenever he hears it he runs over and looks at it longingly (despite him having at least 24 tin foil balls already). You can't call him with a treat bag or tin, he only comes for the foil. 3.2k 40 more replies Share ... cap_blueberry Check the mail every day...he's so excited to walk to the mailbox with me it reminds me to actually do it. 3.0k Share ...
    via u/deleted, u/cap_blueberry
  • 05
    bippityboppityhyeem. Change the water in her bowl. It can be all the way to the top and she'll stand there staring at it until I take the bowl, dump it, and refill it with fresh water. 7.7k Share... [deleted] My dog is a water connoisseur now. He will leave full bowls untouched and look at me for cold water from the water filter with an ice whiskey ball in it. 3.4k Share
    via u/bippityboppityhyeem, u/deleted
  • 06
    zool714. Sleep with my legs a cat-length apart. She likes to sleep in between them. 12.2k Share PiecesofJane Same here! I've noticed I'm much more awake/aware when I shift positions now, too, so I'm sure not to kick or squish her. 1.9k Share ...
    via u/zool714, u/PiecesofJane
  • 07
    oksandwiches Before I run in the morning I usually scarf down a banana. Ever since we got my sweet dog, I scarf down about two thirds of my banana and he gets the last part. It's become our little thing, an unspoken agreement 11.2k Share ... [deleted] The banana tax. It happens at my house too. 6.1k Share ...
    via u/oksandwiches, u/deleted
  • 08
    jasonwilczak Weaving his name into any song I can for no reason whatsoever 7.8k Share 80burritospersecond I was riding around with my dog the other day and motley crue's 'girl girls girls' came on the radio but he likes it better if I sing it as 'squirrels squirrels squirrels'. 3.8k Share ...
    via u/jasonwilczak, u/80burritospersecond
  • 09
    IseultDarcy To press on my bladder to wake me up early so they could eat early. Living lots of food by night didn't solve it. 3.4k Share... s_hinoku You could try an automatic feeder. I mean, unless you enjoy the ritual! 809 Share ...
    via uIseultDarcy, u/s_hinoku
  • 10
    Kenivider 4 yr. ago. Two things. My dog Rusty always puts his front paws on me and I always hugged him so now when he's anxious he'll give me a hug and I'll hug him back The other one is when I get ice he always begs for one so now without thinking I always toss him an ice cube Edit: Thank you all for the awards. I'd assume you'd all like to know the good boy is sleeping on my chest right now and yes he did get an ice cube before bed :) 12.1k Share
    via u/Kenivider
  • 11
    The_Atlas_Moth Calm down when I start to lose my temper or get frustrated. Whenever he hears me sigh or sar, he runs to me, rests his chin on my arm or leg and looks up at me with concern. This has made me so aware of how my energy can impact those around me and I have really gotten my anger under control since he started doing this. He's one of the goodest boys and I am grateful for him every day.
    via u/The_Atlas_Moth
  • 12
    Dirk Digglerthe4rd My girlfriend's older cat makes me pick her up to drink running tap water from her bathroom sink. I also gotta pick her up to get on the dryer to eat, even though she can easily make the jump. 9.7k Share Pntgirl95 My cat often does this! His food is in his cat tree so the dog can't get to it. And sometimes he'll stare and me and the tree and meow loudly till I lift him. Other times he just jumps up and eats. 2.7k Share
    via u/DirkDigglerthe4rd, u/Pntirl95
  • 13
    [deleted] Run towards the door when they start dry heaving 17.6k Share ... SheriffComey The sound of a pet or baby about to vomit needs to be an alarm. Instant wake up. ⇧ 9.1k↓ Share ...
    via u/deleted, u/SheriffComey
  • 14
    prolixia My mother's dog tells her when it's time for her evening meal. As in my mother's evening meal. The dog knows she eats after my mother, so when she starts to get peckish she goes and bugs her to start cooking. When I go back to visit, we'll be sitting chatting and the dog will sidle in and become A Presence In The Room for maybe 30 seconds until my mother casually looks at her watch and says "I suppose we better think about eating". She's completely unaware of what triggers her decision.
    via u/prolixia, u/glennromer
  • 15
    bearattack24 Yell "floor food!" Whenever I'm cooking and I drop something. Or go "cronch cronch cronch" when I'm chopping veggies, so my dog knows I have extras for her. 8.3k Share ...
    via u/bearattack24
  • 16
    Crooked Nook This wasn't accidental. I have a kitten, about 5 months old. Every morning, I wake up and feeding him is one of the first things I do. In the first couple months, in his little brain, he learned that me waking up-food. About a month ago, he started waking me up. Looking to expediate the process. Jumping on me, meowing loudly, running across the bed... Whatever gets me out of bed. I usually wake up around 6am for work. I guess that was too late for breakfast, as over the course of ab
    via u/CrookedNook
  • 17
    This started on a sunday and it wasn't until friday that I was woken up and realized it was 4:30am. It was then that I realized I've been outsmarted by a kitten and I was being conditioned to feed him in the middle of the night. Now if he wakes me up early, he gets locked out of the room until I'm ready to get out of bed. He doesn't wake me up anymore. 19.1k Share ...
    via u/CrookedNook
  • 18
    arcant12 One of my dogs has several barks: a play bark and a squirrel bark and other dog things that are normal dog barks. He also had what we call his "emergency bark". The emergency bark is what he does when he thinks there is serious danger. It is EXTREMELY loud and makes us jump every time. He usually reserves it for things like the time I fell down the stairs and he scream barked for my husband to help, or when someone is in our front yard, or when he cornered a possum in the backyard. Howe
    via u/arcant12
  • 19
    [deleted] Sleep on my back or front. I used to be a side sleeper but have an elderly cat who loves her human bed. 15.0k Share ... spodpaw One of my tabby babbies likes to know when I'm rolling over in bed so she can reajust herself, so know in the middle of the night I'll quietly say "rolling over cooci baby" she loves her human bed no matter how i sleep. 6.2k Share ...
    via u/deleted, u/spodpaw
  • 20
    [deleted]. when I come home, my dog comes to the door all excited, wagging her tail, making this "woowooowowoo" sound. it's not quite howling, but it's not barking either. I started to "woowowooowo" back to her, because it amused me.. but now if I don't, the sound she makes will turn into barking (which is very noisy and unpleasant). so basically she's trained me to have this dumb "woowoowoo" conversation with her, in order to keep her from yelling at me. edit because lots of people are asking:
    via u/deleted
  • 21
    [deleted] Shuffle my feet instead of walking when it's dark so I don't step on my small, black cat. 31.3k Share NOObieNibiru Lol when I turn the lights off my cat instantly starts running from me because of this 10.2k Share
    via u/deleted, u/N00bieNibiru
  • 22
    [deleted] I had fish on top of this cabinet (not sure if that's the right word) so I would always be really really careful when closing it so it doesn't disturb them. I haven't had fish or any other pet in 5 years but I still do it 2.9k Share
    via u/deleted
  • 23
    FhaeShine When I get up to go to the bathroom I stand in the door and wait for my elderly cat to come in before I close the door. He likes to keep me company. If he doesnt come in right away I'll call for him and if still nothing I'll start walking around the house looking for him 9.6k Share ... LateFlorey My kitten has taught me this new trick. If I'm using the toilet or having a shower, I have to call her in. With my financée, she runs from any part of the house to watch him pee. She's quickly
    via u/FhaeShine, u/LateFlorey
  • 24
    gozzyeye. I seem to have inherited a turtle, a red eared slider. It was originally the daughters and she bought it at age 13 with the help of her mum ???? It came with a tiny tank (I know). Once it arrived home I thought "Well how unfortunate that your new owner is incapable of looking after herself never mind a pet", she did try but as expected got bored by this new friend. So I looked for information and found out he may live for 25-30 years, at this point it seemed to become my responsibility
    via u/gozzyeye
  • 25
    11 years later, (Daughter has moved out) several tanks later (don't worry the one now is fine in size), two fluval filters, heaters, bulbs for heating and UVB, custom basking ramps and the general upkeep and well being of our not so small turtle it seems that he now 100% mine. I don't mind to be honest. Anyway, when we are out of sight he will continually swim near the water surface and splash like crazy, all four legs breaking the surface and creating a lot of noise. For some time I would hear
    via u/gozzyeye
  • 26
    StationaryApe My husky does this sneezing thing when she's anxious and I imitate her every time she does it. Usually causes follow up sneezes. I also know right when she's about to groan when she's anxious/annoied and if I make the noise before she does she won't do it 5.9k Share ...
    via u/StationaryApe
  • 27
    Fafurion My cat sleeps under the blanket snuggled up to me. Even when Im at a hotel I instinctively raise the blanket a bit so he can crawl in. Edit: Here's my baby boy snuggling me https://imgur.com/a/VRsuOHN 8.0k Share ... The_Chaos_Pope One of my cats like to climb under the covers but only when he's feeling cold. Most of the time it's nice but sometimes he doesn't ask until after I'm asleep or just drifting off and he asks by poking at me under the blanket so I'm suddenly jolted awake by his
    via u/Fafurion, u/The_Chaos_Pope
  • 28
    sloppysauce My wife just got out of the cat's chair on our front porch after he strolled up and meowed. Crazy thing is, it's not our cat. 42.7k Share RelaxdIndifference This is the best one so far. Very succinct. 8.5k Share ...
    via u/sloppysauce, u/RelaxdIndifference
  • 29
    AustinTreeLover Everything her little heart desires bc I am an idiot sucker and she knows it. ⇧ 12.8k↓ Share ... Charlotte-Lottie. You are their whole life so might as well give them the most happiness you can 7.8k Share ...
    via u/AustinTreeLover, u/Charlotte-Lottie

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adorable Cats animals aww dogs cat food food bowl humor funny dogs heartwarming pets pet ownership wholesome funny cats hissterical fluffy felines
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