‘Stay out of our finances’: Woman Demands to Know Financial Status of Her SIL Publicly, Her Answer Results in Family Dispute

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 12, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Welcome queens of the internet. Internet queens love one thing: the internet drama. There's something so engaging about delving into the deep depths of someone else's life to distract you from your own. Now besides reality drama, let's talk about social mores. 

There are some tacit and well-known dos and don'ts in every culture and society. They may not all overlap and align, but they're particular to the given place. In the US there are some things you just don't talk about. Asking about someone's weight, how much they make, or how expensive their house or car is are just big no-no questions. But some people didn't get the hint. 

So now that it's established how inappropriate it is to ask about someone's financial situation, it's especially inappropriate to ask about it in front of a crowd of people, and especially in a demanding way. Uncouth is right…more than uncouth behavior. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH⚫ 16 hr. ago bombassgal AITA for telling my sister in law our finances are not her business
    via u/bombassgal
  • 02
    I (27f) have been with my husband (38m) for about 6yrs (married for 3). When we met, he had horrible depression and when his mother passed away a lot of things went wrong in his life - he started a new career (where we met a year later), spent all his savings, etc. I was finishing my last year of college online and was working a "big girl" job making the same amount of $ as him. After dating, we got pregnant with our beautiful daughter
    via u/bombassgal
  • 03
    after doing the deed for 1 week. After we had my daughter, I ended up quitting my job and bringing her to nanny with me. We got married two years after she was born, and he supported me going back to school getting my nursing degree (BSN).
    via u/bombassgal
  • 04
    Our current life: Now I am a travel nurse. I paid off all my student debt ($20k), we bought a two bedroom bedroom fifth wheel (cost $90k), and I recently bought my husband the truck of his dreams ($110k). He stays with our girls, we homeschool, and we're planning on traveling for another few years. We plan on settling down by the time my oldest goes into middle school. By then, both of my kids will be set up financially to go
    via u/bombassgal
  • 05
    money to put a large down payment on a $2mil home. Now, here's the problem... I took an assignment near his hometown, so we can see his family for Easter. One of my sister-in-law's is more of a petty woman who can't keep her mouth shut. When my husband's brothers were asking about his new truck, SIL chimed in saying, "Well, he wouldn't have anything
    via u/bombassgal
  • 06
    if it wasn't for (insert my name here)". I reminded her that I wouldn't have anything I have now without him either. SIL proceeds to ask how much our "fancy trailer" and "fancy truck" and "fancy trips" are costing me (in front of his whole family). I was calm when I responded and just simply said, "it's none of your business what my finances. are, but if you need some money, let me know".
    via u/bombassgal
  • 07
    Needless to say, things got awkward and she left shortly after. Now SIL is refusing to talk to me, and I'm getting pressure from his family to apologize. I don't really feel sorry because I feel like she undermined all of my husband's sacrifices for our family, But my husband says I should just apologize to keep peace. Thoughts?
    via u/bombassgal
  • 08
    BlueGreen_1956 • 16h ago NTA Hee Hee. SIL messed around and got burned. The look on her face must have been priceless.
    via u/BlueGreen_1956
  • 09
    OversleptSundae • 15h ago "If you need some money let me know" is a fantastic response. NTA - sounds like she wishes she could have the freedom and nice things you have. Way to go for crediting yourself AND your husband for where you are today.
    via u/OversleptSundae
  • 10
    If she was genuinely curious then maybe this was a step too far. But if she's constantly talking then she was due for a platter coming back in her face. She can do the math to make sense of how much travel nurses can make with a simple google to satisfy any genuine curiosity.
    via u/OversleptSundae
  • 11
    judging • 16h ago NTA - She wouldn't have been told that if she would have indeed minded her own business. My apology would be "I'm sorry that I had to put in your place because you were rude enough to put down my husband and nosey enough to ask me questions that was none of your concern.
    via u/judging
  • 12
    Hopefully we can move on from this."
    via u/judging
  • 13
    CyberDonSystems • 15h ago Now SIL is refusing to talk to me That sounds like a win to me. NTA
    via u/CyberDonSystems
  • 14
    coralcoast21 • 15h ago "Keep the peace" is code for please be a doormat so I don't have to listen to x. You backed your husband up as you should have. Why is he asking you to wave the white flag? NTA
    via u/coralcoast21
  • 15
    Rude_Vermicelli2268 • 15h ago NTA She doesn't sound like someone you really want to have around.
    via u/Rude_Vermicelli2268
  • 16
    For the sake of peace you might consider an insincere apology like "I'm sorry you were upset I offered you a loan. The questions you kept asking about our finances gave me the impression you needed a handout". Or you can just ignore it and let things blow over. She needs to learn to mind her own business.
    via u/Rude_Vermicelli2268
  • 17
    Glittering Lychee159 16h ago ΝΤΑ She had it coming with the judgmental attitude. All you did was set the record straight after she tried to play high and mighty. If she can't take the heat, she shouldn't dish out snide remarks. And as for your comment about the money - it's the cherry on top for someone
    via u/Glittering Lychee159
  • 18
    who's probably been looking down her nose at you for too long. Sometimes a petty jab is the only language people like that understand! She needs to learn that nosiness comes with a price; you just gave her a taste of her own medicine. Sure, you could toss an apology her way, but only to the extent of
    via u/Glittering Lychee159
  • 19
    way, but only to the extent of "Sorry you couldn't handle the truth of your own behavior." Let's hope she reflects on this and adjusts her attitude at family gatherings from now on.
    via u/Glittering Lychee159
  • 20
    dookle14 15h ago NTA - jealousy, thy name is SIL.
    via u/dookle14
  • 21
    MerryMoose923 15h ago NTA. Your response was PERFECT. Sister-in-law is a nosy, judgmental person. Her question was out of line, and frankly your finances are none of her business. You have nothing to apologize for.
    via u/MerryMoose923

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