'Till your other wife do us part': Woman Finds Out About Husband's Second Family, Decides to Stick By Him After He Promises to Leave Them

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 1, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

We firmly believe that the person who came up with the phrase – 'Once a cheater, always a cheater', knew what they were talking about. A person who has no problem cheating the first time will always be at the risk of doing it again. That is why gaining back trust with someone who had cheated and broken your heart once is practically impossible.

Apparently, it is not impossible for this woman on Reddit, and it is hard to wrap our heads around how easy it was for her to forgive her husband. The woman was reached out by a stranger on Facebook who told her that her husband has another wife and kids in a different country, and when OP (original poster) told her husband about the claims, she was shocked when he actually confirmed them. But the more shocking part was when she revealed her decision to forgive her husband after he promised her he would leave the other wife and kids.

Scroll down to read both the full story and her later update. After that, click here for a story of a woman who dated and broke up with a coworker, proving you shouldn't mix love and work.

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  • 01
    My (F24) husband (M36) has a whole other wife and child. Where do I go from here?
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 02
    This is a long and complicated story, I'm sorry if some things are confusing/don't make sense I am a mess right now and trying to wrap my brain around everything also. I met my husband "Jake" (fake name) about 4 years ago on tinder.
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 03
    Jake comes from a different country to where I am from, but he was my type and when we started talking I was blown away by how charming and sweet he was. This version of Jake never went away, he has
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 04
    always been this amazingly charming and sweet person. He's the type of person that when you've finished having a conversation with him you feel better about yourself. Just to give you some context.
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 05
    He and I fell in love quickly and got married fast also, he was very eager to start a family as it gave his citizenship in my country more legitimacy. By our second anniversary, we were married and I was pregnant with our son. Jake still works in
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 06
    his home country, and so every few months he flies back and stays there with his mother (or so I thought) completes the work required and then flies back. The rest of the work he can do at home.
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 07
    The last few years with Jake have genuinely been the most amazing years of my life and this is why the last week feels like such a fever dream. This is hard to explain but a person on Facebook messaged me last
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 08
    Tuesday claiming that Jake had been cheating on me and that they had proof. I genuinely didn't believe this person and at first just ignored them, but then curiosity got the better of me and I messaged back and asked what proof they had.
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 09
    They proceeded to send me a large collection of photos of Jake with another woman and two boys. I know these photos were relatively recent, as he died his hair blond for the barbie movie (at my request)
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 10
    and has kept it like that ever since. The person told me that the woman in the photo was his wife and the two boys were his sons. I obviously didn't want to believe it, I tried to find ways it was fake. Photoshop, AI,
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 11
    whatever I don't even know. I think the person blocked me after that, as their account just comes up as "Facebook user" now when I look at the chats.
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 12
    When I had got home I confronted Jake and he started crying and confessed that everything was true and that he had a WIFE and TWO SONS, who looked to be about 13 and 9 (but I could be wrong that's
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 13
    just my best guess), in his home country that HE WAS STILL MARRIED TO the woman. I asked him how he could do this to me, how could he have lied to me for so long?
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 14
    I told him I was going to expose him to the other wife and he said not to bother because she already knows and 'supports him'. I left and have been staying with my mother ever since. This has been the hardest
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 15
    week of my life and some days I genuinely haven't wanted to get out of bed. Jake has been texting me saying that he will break things off with the other wife completely if that's what I wanted and he texted me saying he 'thought I wouldn't
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 16
    mind' which genuinely made me sob into my pillow. I have never felt so low. Part of me, stupidly I know, wants to take him back. The years I had with him were the best I have ever had but this betrayal is just... I don't even know how to explain the hurt I feel.
    via u/ThrowRA-2737
  • 17
    Update: My (F24) husband (M36) has a whole other wife and child. Where do I go from here?
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 18
    Hi guys, First and foremost, I would like to thank you all for all the advice and support everyone has given me since I posted my original post 4 days ago. It's been over a week since I left to go stay at my mother and this
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 19
    time away from Jake has been so good for and allowed me to see what was really important to me. Since I originally posted, Jake and I have been talking and he let me know that he has broken things off with his other "wife",
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 20
    apparently it wasn't even a legal marriage thing. He explained to me that when he was a child his parents and his "wife's" parents arranged for them to be married, this happened when he was 7 years old btw. But it wasn't a legal wedding, just like
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 21
    a ceremonial thing that links his family with hers. He said that he never actually loved her, but was required to marry her or his father had to pay so much to his "wife's" family as like punishment I guess. I felt really bad for him, I could tell he
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 22
    didn't want to be with her at all, and was only doing it so his family were okay. The relationship isn't real on either side, which is what he was trying to tell me when he said his "wife" supports him. They're only married because they're required to be.
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 23
    I'm so relived now he's explained everything to me. He told me he won't be contacting her again but because of this we will have to send a small amount of money to the wife's family for the foreseeable future, which of course is not
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 24
    ideal. But it is better than the alternative of him going over to be with her every few months. I wish he just told me the truth from the start! But, don't worry I've signed us up for couples therapy. I know this is likely not
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 25
    the results you guys expected or wanted, so many of you were for him without SO even understanding what he was going through. The thing that kind of concerns me now is what the relationship will be like between my son and his other half-siblings. I think I would like to foster a relationship between them if I can.
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 26
    I'm just glad to be back with Jake. I love him so much. TL;DR The marriage to Jake's other "wife" wasn't a real marriage, only something he had to do.
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 27
    Edit: okay I'm out of here. You all are bigoted of other cultures and traditions. You know NOTHING of me and Jake and the fact that so many of you have tried to say he is a "groomer" shows how SICK some of yours world views are. Get yourselves sorted and get your acts together.
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 28
    fivenightrental I find this pretty unbelievable. Have you talked with his "wife" to confirm any of this?
    via u/fivenightrenta
  • 29
    [deleted] Not per say, but I can tell usually when he's lying and he wasn't this time
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 30
    YGathDdrwg. 26 days ago Except for the whole double life thing right? Apart from that you read. him like a book.
    via u/YGathDdrwg
  • 31
    BriefHorror I want to feel bad for you but to be this willfully blind is mind blowing.
    via u/BriefHorror
  • 32
    CrystalQueen3000 He lied to you for 4 years straight and you suddenly think he's telling you the truth? He's still lying sis, stop being delulu
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 33
    CheesecakeVisual4919 50s Male Now, do the smart thing and end it with him. This isn't something you should let him weasel out of.
    via u/CheesecakeVisual4919
  • 34
    [deleted] Why would I do that? He's told me the truth now
    via u/ThrowRA-3727
  • 35
    NotAsBrightlyLit . 26 days ago You're setting yourself up for a lot more heartache (and more surprises from the husband you think you know so well), so get ready. At the very least I hope you examine your legal and financial statuses and make sure you can still take care of your child when the eventual happens.
    via u/NotAsBrightlyLit

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relationship advice family drama marriage drama wife relationship-drama reddit story relationships husband cheating love family Reddit children
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