Bride-To-Be Secretly Withdraws Wedding Invitation from Fiancé’s Female Best Friend

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
May 7, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

Friendship is one of the most valuable relationships in life because you give everything to a friend and they want nothing in return. How would you feel, though, if, after years of platonic friendship, you were forced to miss one of your best friends' weddings just because the blushing bride-to-be was jealous of you?

The story that follows is about a disappointed female friend. For a long time, Mathew and the original poster (OP) have been close friends. Together, they faced the difficulties of life, appreciating its gifts and lamenting its flaws. However, things changed when Mathew asked Jennifer, his then-girlfriend, to marry him.

That being said, if you're interested in learning more about what transpired and whether Jennifer's issue with OP kept her from attending Mathew's wedding, be sure to read the story below! After you're done reading, don't forget to check out the story of the guy who discovers, ten years into his marriage, that his wife has a secret daughter from a past relationship!

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  • 01
    I'd still talk to Matthew and meet with him and our group of friends, sometimes with Jennifer and she would still act cold and not speak to me much. I kept my distance from Jennifer. Three months ago, we all received a save the date invitation and their wedding is going to take place at Matthew's cabin 2 hours away and they were going to keep it small due to the size of the cabin so we were only allowed to bring one guest.
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA for not getting upset or convince the bride after I was uninvited to my friend's wedding?
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 03
    This happened over the weekend but there's still so much tension. One of my good friends, Matthew (26M) is getting married next month to Jennifer (26F). I (25F) have known Matthew since high school. We've both connected when it came to video games, especially Minecraft. Matthew has had his fair share of girlfriends over the years but when he met Jennifer 3 years ago, he said that he knew she was the one and they are madly in love with each other and I am so happy for them both.
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 04
    Last year, Matthew popped the question to Jennifer and she said yes. Jennifer's demeanor towards me drastically changed after the engagement. She was distant towards me, she wouldn't look at me and she would hardly speak to me which was weird since Jennifer was always so sweet and nice towards me.
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 05
    I'd still talk to Matthew and meet with him and our group of friends, sometimes with Jennifer and she would still act cold and not speak to me much. I kept my distance from Jennifer. Three months ago, we all received a save the date invitation and their wedding is going to take place at Matthew's cabin 2 hours away and they were going to keep it small due to the size of the cabin so we were only allowed to bring one guest. That was when Jennifer acted extremely
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 06
    harsh and hostile towards me and said "bet you don't have a plus one since you are so into my man.” I was taken aback. I asked her what the fk she was talking about and she smirked and said I knew and to not act stupid. I ignored her remark and told her my boyfriend was coming. She looked surprised and left. I of course told Matthew about what Jennifer said to me and he was not happy, so he made her apologize to me.
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 07
    Then, last weekend, I was invited by matthew's sister to go dress shopping with her and Jennifer. I declined at first because I wanted to keep my distance from Jennifer but Matthew's sister assured me that she will deal with Jennifer and that our other friends will be there with us. So we go dress shopping and I found a beautiful dress that I thought would be perfect and I took a picture to send to my boyfriend since he planned. on matching (I.e with a bow tie) with me. I tried
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 08
    the dress on and it was a perfect fit so I guess I got lucky. Jennifer was angry, called me names such as a w e, a boyfriend stealing b h, and that I was officially uninvited to the wedding. She caused such a commotion, the employee of the store asked us to leave. I told Jennifer I didn't want to come to the wedding anyway but I was going to because MY FRIEND was getting married. I told her if she didn't want me at the wedding, fine. I don't give a
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 09
    f k since I won't go to a wedding if the bride is going to be so r e to a guest. Matthew and our friends found out and I was getting texts left and right begging me to just come to the wedding. I told them I was happy to get uninvited and I'll just spend the day with my boyfriend on the day of the wedding instead. They're all mad at me for not fighting hard enough. AITA?
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 10
    Edit: so my decision is final. I will not be going to the wedding and there's no changing my mind about it. I will be sending a wedding gift to Matthew the day prior to the wedding instead. I told Matthew and all my friends that I won't be going and they can't convince me otherwise. Matthew also called me and asked if we can talk somewhere. I agreed but it's to tell him in person that I won't go so that way he knows I'm serious about that.
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 11
    Update: I met up with Matthew and brought my boyfriend along. Of course, he begged me to come to the wedding and he said he would beg Jennifer to let me attend. I told him it's best if I wasn't there. I told Matthew that Jennifer has a problem with me. Period. He said he doesn't understand and he did ask her many times but Jennifer would continue to say she was just "stressed". I got angry and said that's b it and
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 12
    he knows that. My boyfriend also intervened and said to Matthew that he needs to wake up and realize Jennifer is crazy and he can't keep defending her. Matthew said he loves her too much and doesn't want to lose her. My boyfriend and I got up and told Matthew to let us know when he has a backbone. In the meantime, it's best we don't talk. I messaged all of our friends in the group to let them know I'm keeping a distance from Matthew because of Jennifer. He's
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 13
    still my friend but at an arms length. I will still be sending him a gift regardless but I'm keeping my distance from Matthew. It seems like he is in denial and can't comprehend what's going on at all. He usually is in denial, ever since high school he would have a sense of denial. Another thing to mention is that Jennifer is nice to all of Matthew's female friends. Just not with
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 14
    me. I've also gotten a message from two of our friends saying they have dropped out of attending the wedding because of Jennifer and that they are on my side. Edit 2: Jennifer already bought her wedding dress a while ago. When I went dress shopping with Matthew's sister, she invited Jennifer as a way to
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 15
    resolve this animosity she had towards me. So it was Matthew's sister who wanted to buy a dress and I found a dress that I loved and Jennifer went crazy. Hope that clears things up since so many were confused.
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 16
    author124 NTA this is wild. You're the one being made uncomfortable after Jennifer started displaying this two-faced behavior (since she was nice before), and you're somehow to blame? That's some major Edit to add: also "not fighting hard enough"; part of adulthood is learning which battles are worth fighting. Kudos to you for not wasting your time and energy on this one.
    via u/author124
  • 17
    Grand_Sell1199 OP I've even spoken to Matthew about her behavior a couple times and she would act nice for a little bit but then return to her mean ways. It's like he's too blinded by love to see that
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 18
    NGDGUnpunished I guarantee there's a piece of information you (or we) are missing. She was fine with you until around the time of the engagement, then things went sideways. Somebody said something to her and I suspect it was your friend. That he's begging you to show up at the wedding when his fiancee is adamantly against it is really telling. Whatever. Don't go as she'll make a huge scene. There's no way that marriage will last. NTA.
    via u/NGDGUnpunished
  • 19
    Grand_Sell1199 OP I've been trying to figure that out and I've asked Matthew many times but he kept using the wedding planning and the engagement as an excuse and that when she's overwhelmed, she acts distant but I don't buy it anymore.
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 20
    Individual_Plan_5593 NTA Why are they angry at you for not "fighting hard enough” instead of her for creating this situation in the first place?!? Also please tell me his sister stood up for the dress shop like she said she would??? you at
    via u/Individual_Plan_5593
  • 21
    Grand_Sell1199 OP She did. She was angry with Jennifer and told her to apologize but Jennifer went r d and said "over my d body". His sister messaged me later on and told me that she thought the dress I picked was beautiful and checked in and asked if I was okay.
    via u/Grand_Sell1199
  • 22
    KTaeH NTA There's something fishy here. Unless she's just b it crazy, someone must have told her something, or she must have misinterpreted something. Anyways, it's her wedding, if she doesn't want you there it's not your job to beg her. Your friend should be able to deal with his soon-to-be wife on his own.
    via u/KTaeH
  • 23
    I-Love-Tatertots Partassipant [1] I'm willing to bet it was a major source of tension in the relationship up to this point. A lot of people (both male and female) cannot handle people having friends of the opposing gender. I am friends with a lot of women (unironically due to daddy issues), so I see this a lot of the time.
    via u/I-Love-Tatertots
  • 24
    It almost always ends up with me having to cut contact so the guy doesn't implode and destroy the relationship. I could imagine fights over this friendship happening up to this point and the engagement being a tipping point. Especially with OP being invited.
    via u/I-Love-Tatertots
  • 25
    She probably didn't want OP there, but the friend insisted. Granted this could all be due to something else; but I've see this play out many times.
    via u/I-Love-Tatertots
  • 26
    EspressoBooksCats NTA. What did everyone else say who went shopping with you guys, when she started name-calling?
    via u/EspressoBooksCats
  • 27
    Grand Sell1199 OP They were all shocked. Matthew's sister of course got angry with Jennifer and told her to apologize but she screamed and said "over my d body!" Some of my friends who went shopping with us told Jennifer to calm down and that it wasn't like I picked out the same dress as her. They did comfort me and said they've never seen Jennifer like this but they all don't know what to do or what to say to Matthew since he's too "blindly in love" to see what's happening
    via u/Grand_Sell1199

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