‘If we don’t move, I’ll divorce you’: Husband is Getting a Little Too Friendly With the Neighbor’s Wife, His Actual Wife Draws a Line

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 9, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Feeling safe and secure in a relationship is the fundamentals, the basics of intimacy. Knowing your partner is there for you and only has their eye on you is crucial. When one doesn't feel secure, the relationship can implode. Everything about the essence of the connection, vulnerability, and closeness is threatened. 

Even without explicit cheating, each partner should be so hyped and excited by their partner. They should want to brag about them and show them off. When you really, truly love someone then you're proud to be with them, you don't want to hide them. You don't want to hide them and you certainly should want to give them the world. What if someone disrupts that relationship? If one feels themselves drawn towards someone else, it's only right to cut the relationship to avoid drama in the future. When you secure your love with someone, you're just lying to them if you veer elsewhere. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH • 14 hr. ago Southern Emu2559 AITA for telling my husband that if we don't move than we will end up divorcing because him and the wife next door make me incredibly uncomfortable?
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 02
    I know hormones probably play a role here but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. My husband and I moved here back in June of 2023 and he soon became super close with the couple next door. To a point where every single day we were being invited out on the boat or over to have BBQ with them. It bothered me a great deal honestly because every time I
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 03
    said I didn't want to go, my husband would pretty much force his hand and guilt me in to going and I was pregnant and simply didn't want to be around anyone. He would say "well I want to go but if you don't go with me than it'll make me look like a bad husband". The wife next door was also pregnant.
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 04
    But there's been a build up of stuff that bothers me a lot and yes, I have communicated it. Like.. last year when we were on the boat we stopped off at one of the lake stores and my husband and the other husband went in. They asked me and the wife if we wanted anything. She had asked for like 4 or 5 different things. I asked for one very specific soda
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 05
    because I was craving it. When they came back out, I found that my husband had bought the other wife everything she requested (why didn't her husband buy it?) and he didn't get me anything because he "forgot" and didn't go back in or anything because it was "too busy" and "didn't want to stand in line for 20 minutes". Or if we
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 06
    are standing by the fire pit he will ask the other wife if she needs a seat before he asks me. Or if he sees her grilling food, he will be like "here let me do that for you" but if he sees me cooking, he never offers to take over. He also takes all the garbage to the dump for her, despite her having a husband who can do it. Will take out their dog, keep an eye on her
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 07
    kids so she can go to the store but I have only taken literally 10 showers without the baby since I gave birth 6 months ago. I don't think anything is TRULY going on but I know for an absolute fact that he's trying to look like a super hero/super dad/super husband to HER when he's actually not. He loves the attention he gets from doing all
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 08
    these favors for her but he just doesn't do that stuff at home. He used to. Before we moved here. He used to be a great husband.
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 09
    Like I said, I have communicated with him that this bothers me a great deal. But he's not cheating and he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong because he's just "helping people out". But it's been dragging me. Every single time I see him do anything for her, I start resenting him more. Because it's every single day. Or every single time I watch him
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 10
    walk over to their house and talk to them while I'm inside cooking/parenting destroys me. Because again, It's every single day. I told him last night that if we didn't move out of here, I will end up divorcing him. That I feel to his "real" like the side wife, talking about the woman next door. He still thinks I'm being ridiculous because there is
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 11
    no cheating going on (I know there's not) but that makes no difference to me. He's still panning for her approval and doing things for her and while he did do that for me for years, he hasn't done that since we moved here. He says we can't afford to move and that he's just happy to have friends again after going years with essentially no social
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 12
    life. I just can't do it anymore. ETA: the post about the boat and my husband catering to the friends pregnant wife from last year was me. I posted it on a throwaway account that I no longer have access to.
    via u/Southern Emu2559
  • 13
    Who_Am_I_1978 • 13h ago Question, have you spoken to Heath? How does he feel about another man acting like his wife's husband??
    via u/Who_Am_I_1978
  • 14
    Q.. 13h ago • Edited 12h ago Stop going over there. If it makes him look like a bad husband then tell him Well if the shoe fits because it's not wrong. Marriage counselling is recommended here, he's clearly into this woman and he's willing to put his marriage at stake because he is a bad husband.
    via u/Q
  • 15
    Vast-Video-7701 • 14h ago Cheating is irrelevant. He's literally taking the attention away by being like 'well I'm not cheating so you should be grateful'
    via u/Vast-Video-7701
  • 16
    Being faithful is like the absolute bare minimum in a marriage. And he's just avoiding the issue. It's about him neglecting you while giving his energy and attention to something/someone else. Even if you put aside the fact that it's another woman. Say it was his male friend
    via u/Vast-Video-7701
  • 17
    Say it was his male friend that he was prioritising over you, that would still be upsetting and insulting. You're his wife and the woman raising his children. You should be his priority and I'm sorry that you're not being treated right
    via u/Vast-Video-7701
  • 18
    M.. 14h ago Edited 14h ago He's clearly infatuated with the woman next door, and impressing her matters. more to him than being a decent spouse to you. He sucks, and you deserve better. I'm not sure what the solution is, since he refuses to admit that he's doing
    via u/M
  • 19
    anything wrong. Do you have any family or friends you can stay with for a bit? Maybe if you tell him you're leaving because you're done. being an afterthought, it will snap him out of his fixation on the neighbour. If it doesn't, you may need to pull the pin on this dead end marriage. NTA.
    via u/M
  • 20
    Justherefortheaita • 13h ago Did you post a while back about the him not getting you anything from the store but bought her everything she wanted? I remember that exact post a while back. Any way, NTA
    via u/Justherefortheaita
  • 21
    Status-Pattern7539 • 13h ago Honestly I'd wait for something super obvious to happen, ie he gets something for her not you/ offer her his seat not you. Make sure it's in vicinity of her husband as well.
    via u/Status-Pattern7539
  • 22
    Then loudly say "you're so lucky my husband does this stuff for you, he never does this for me. It's like watching a little school boy with his first crush".
    via u/Status-Pattern7539

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wholesome neighbors jealous drama wife relationships husband lol couples love moving reddit thread red flag Reddit funny dating
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