Woman who had a false positive pregnancy test throws a fit when nobody gets her anything for Mother's Day: 'Nobody owed her a Mother’s Day gift because she’s not a mother yet'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 16, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Who is a mother? That is one of those questions that must be approached with much nuance. Suppose a teenager gets pregnant and gives up her baby that Michael Cera fathered through a closed adoption. Would that teen be considered a mother, even though the role and responsibility of motherhood have been transferred wholly to Jennifer Gardner, who is now divorced from Jason Bateman? Some would say that Juno was a mother because she gave birth, but that sparks an interesting question: can someone be a mother if they never gave birth in the first place?

A story recently went viral on Reddit that grapples with that complex question. A woman got into an argument with her sister because said sister didn't get anything from her family for Mother's Day. The woman claims that since her sister only had a false positive pregnancy test (or a chemical pregnancy), she can't claim to be a mother. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Own Assistant6296 • 23h AITA for telling my sister nobody needs to give her anything for Mother's Day? Not the A-hole
    via u/Own_Assistant6296
  • 02
    My (27F) sister (25F) had a miscarriage 6 or 7 months ago. It was very early, she had a positive pregnancy test, but then a couple days later tested negative and had her period. My husband (29M) and I just had our first baby who is now 3 weeks old. For Mother's Day, we all went to my parents' house to celebrate. My sister and I both brought our mom gifts, and my mom also got me flowers and chocolate to celebrate my first Mother's Day.
    via u/Own_Assistant6296
  • 03
    I think it's also worth noting that I had an ectopic pregnancy that ended up rupturing three years ago and we've been trying to have a baby ever since. I lost a fallopian tube and basically nearly died. I've had 2 other miscarriages since then as well. This was a very special first true Mother's Day. I was in the hospital recovering from the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy over Mother's Day three years ago, and my family brought me flowers and balloons to help me feel better about going through
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  • 04
    My mom didn't get my sister anything for Mother's Day. As a result, my sister ended up throwing a fit and was yelling at us, calling us names, and I ended up yelling back that nobody owed her a Mother's Day gift because she's not a mother yet. My parents were understanding but said I should've been less harsh. Am I the asshole?
    via u/Own_Assistant6296
  • 05
    Even Enthusiasm7223 22h Asshole Aficionado [11] Update: Chemical pregnancy It's possible to have a positive pregnancy test even if you aren't technically pregnant. This is called a false positive. It's sometimes caused by a chemical pregnancy She didn't have a miscarriage. She had a false positive. You are a little harsh but it was kind of deserved for the way she freaked It looked to me out Did anyone ever get you a mother's Day gift for your miscarriages? That just sounds cruel to me. She need
    via u/Even_Enthusiasm7223
  • 06
    newyorkgrizz • 21h False positives on pregnancy tests are exceedingly rare. It was most likely a chemical pregnancy, which is technically a very, very early miscarriage. 5.7k
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  • 07
    • Mysterious-Impact-32 21h Partassipant [2] Yeah I agree sounds like a chemical, which is SUPER common. We don't even know how often it happens because many people would never know unless testing very early. ... ↑ 2.5k
    via u/Mysterious-Impact-32
  • 08
    Huffle_Tess87 • 20h I had one, tested positive and got my period. that day. The line was very faint so I just had to test the day after and there was nothing. So I agree, the sister most likely had a chemical. 1.2k
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  • 10
    Ambystomatigrinum. 20h I think its kind of unfair to say "life went on as normal". If she really wants a baby and was very excited, it can still be a huge blow and very emotionally painful. That doesn't mean she should be celebrated on mother's day, but it gets frustrating when people right off early-term miscarriages and assume that the person shouldn't have any feelings about it because it didn't last long. 2.3k
    via u/Ambystomatigrinum
  • 11
    shortasalways • 20h Partassipant [1] When it's a wanted baby it hurts so bad. I tested positive and lost a week later and was devastated. Probably wouldn't make sense to others since it was so early but I wanted that baby. I even went to the base to be tested that week and got my referral for my OB. Your hormones are still out of wack and you have a very heavy period. Sister hasn't gotten pregnant since and that probably stings because she would be 7-8 months pregnant and close to due. ✩ 441
    via u/shortasalways
  • 12
    yubsie 20h The cruelest thing about chemical pregnancies is that they end so early that generally the only people who even realize that they're pregnant are the people who WANT to be. I was devastated when I finally got a positive test after a year and a half of trying and the line started getting lighter two days later. If I hadn't had a viable pregnancy by the time mother's day came around that year it would have been really difficult. +370
    via u/yubsie
  • 13
    Ok_Butterfly_9117 • 21h ESH. People are feeling hurt and vulnerable- and lashed out. You can't control your sister's fit but you can control your own reaction. Her miscarriage wasn't as "bad" as yours, but clearly she was hurting and sensitive. It was an opportunity to comfort. Reply 1.9k
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  • 15
    loopsygonegirl • 20h Her miscarriage wasn't as "bad" as yours Dont they say you can never compare suffering? It does remind me of a thing that happened at work. I had a colleague A who had been trying for years and after finally becoming pregnant found out the embryo wasn't viable in an rather early stage. She had to take an abortion pill, which made her bleed but that didn't stop. So she was hospitalized and overal was a very truamatic experience. Not many poeple at work knew. Few months later
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    KikiMadeCrazy • 22h Certified Proctologist [26] ESH Cause YOU know how painful and traumatic is a miscarriage you decide to pay in spade your own sister. Great! You all suck here. A kind gesture will have make everybody happy. But now it's a run to who suffered the most, who got it worst. What kind of values you plan to teach your children? Reply 775
    via u/KikiMadeCrazy
  • 18
    charliekelly76 • 20h OP had an ectopic pregnancy and almost died, sister had a miscarriage before the fifth week. Both are traumatic events but the sister wasn't in the hospital actively dying for her miscarriage. OP got flowers in the hospital bc women die of ectopic pregnancies all the time. It's not a game of Suffering Olympics, but life and death. I'm a woman in my thirties who plans to have children soon and I would NOT expect flowers and cards on Mother's Day for losing my embryo that was
    via u/charliekelly76
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family drama pregnancy mothers sisters moms mothers day pregnancy test family pregnant sister mom aita motherhood reddit story reddit thread Reddit
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