Dungeons and Dragons Game Ends in Tears After One Player Faces Table Dispute With Ex Wife Who Filed For Divorce

Advertisement
  • 01
    "You used to have a husband."
  • 02
    My wife and I are getting a divorce. I don't want a divorce, I desperately want to try and work things out, but it's not just up to me. I'm in a bad place right now. She can tell, so she encouraged me to continue going to DnD because she knows how much it means to me. I was reassured that we're all friends and that no one is taking sides.
  • 03
    Three days after she broke the news to me, her best friend shelved her old character that she had been playing for years to introduce a new one. The character introduced himself (her first time roleplaying a male character) to the campaign by taunting my former wife's character with the words, "You used to have a husband." For context, my former wife's character had a fiancé who did in combat shortly before the campaign began.
  • 04
    I blinked. I turned to look at my former wife. In character, I asked when hers had a husband. “Fiancé, husband, same thing,” her friend said. I started to explain that they're related, but not the same thing. She said she just misspoke. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I left the room to cry in the hallway. I tried to be as quiet as I could, but I let some sobs escape. They continued to play without me until they needed me to roll for initiative.
  • 05
    After the game, I told my former wife that I don't think I will be attending the next session. She says that's ridiculous. She said she talked to her friend after the game. She says her friend and the DM had been planning that character for months. The timing was purely coincidental, and she merely misspoke.
  • 06
    I was a founding member of this campaign. I have played this character for years. So many hours, days spent. I don't think I can do it anymore. I feel like I'm losing my wife, my passion, everything.
  • 07
    Zealousideal_Star252 2 days ago This is awful. You're not overreacting, that was a triggering thing to hear given what you're going through (and how recently this all happened prior to the game). You also have the absolute right to remove yourself from any uncomfortable situations, and you did the right thing here by doing so. Trying to play a campaign with her immediately after life-altering news like that sounds like an emotional minefield and honestly an awkward situation for everyone at the
  • 08
    But you don't have to worry about losing everything you've built DM-wise. The most amazing and impressive thing about a DM is their ability to craft an entire world out of nothing. You will always have that. New games, new groups, new campaigns, etc. And those skills transfer. You can build yourself a new world, too. We're rooting for you, no matter how this all shakes out. Take time for yourself and try to focus on you. When in doubt, deep breaths. 313 Reply Share
  • 09
    Kino42 2 days ago You're playing a DnD game with your ex and her best friend? That's your new mistake, bro. Leave the game. LEAVE. THE. GAME. it will be a mentally harmful reminder every single session. It will sour DnD for you. You don't owe any of them anything any longer. 83 Reply Share
  • 10
    Smoothie 2 days ago i Any other advice is just crazy to me. The guy needs a new DnD group without his ex sitting there. He needs time to heal without running into her all the time, especially when it's also with her friends. Ultimately everyone picks a side, that's just how it is with divorce, and why it's messy. Those break ups where the couple becomes friends are rare and it's only when the divorce was mutual, which isn't the case here.
  • 11
    And what's gonna happen when his wife moves on and brings a new partner to the table? OP needs to find his own group far away from her. Losing a character sucks, but the alternative is worse. I hate to say it but any group that would tolerate the level of shade thrown are her friends not his. Some throw away comment that is gonna be forgotten in 3 session is completely unnecessary, and intentionally hurtful. Probably trying to get him to choose to leave. 24 Reply Share
  • 12
    toliveistomeme - 2 days ago My dude, I'm so sorry. That was a move by your wife's friend. I do think you need a good cry, and once you're a bit more composed, try talking to your DM about this and set some boundaries to prevent things like this.
  • 13
    You're going through a tough time, and you should not push away people who care about you. Ask that friend for an apology, but don't expect one. People like them don't deserve your time, tears, or emotions. Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this, but don't make big decisions when you're emotional and wait to compose yourself. Have a hug from a stranger online because you deserve one after that 122 Reply Share ...
  • 14
    LimpSwordfish082622 OP 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago The DM seemed amused by the entire situation. Like she knew what was about to happen. I just don't know what to think anymore. I was told that we're all mutual friends, so no one is taking sides. Then I'm told obviously her best friend is taking her side, like I was stupid for actually believing what I had been told. I feel like I'm being gaslit.
  • 15
    The friend has said she might write an apology letter from her new character to mine. I'm not sure how she plans on having the character apologize for the player's actions either. 90 Reply Share ...
  • 16
    toliveistomeme · 2 days ago While I do prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt, if the DM is actively trying to stir up resentment, I do think that you guys need to put up firm boundaries, and if they don't respect it, then you should look for a new group. But have these conversations and make these decisions once you're more composed 61 Reply Share
  • 17
    Ivylaughed 2 days ago They are dismissing your hurt. Even if the hurt was unintentional (which I doubt but let's just pretend), they should still take responsibility for inflicting it. I highly recommend you find a new dnd group. I've lost gaming groups because of a breakup and it hurts. I miss my character still. I didn't get to see the conclusion of the campaign. It doesn't feel fair. I am so sorry.
  • 18
    And I am sorry that your mutual friends are not taking care to be your friend as well as hers. I want you to find space for yourself. And another group[hugs] 33 Reply Share ...
  • 19
    Anti_Anti_intellect. 2 days ago Ok, the thing that raised my eyebrows was that they made you cut an emotional crisis short so you could roll for initiative. Really think about the weight of that decision, cause it tells you all you need to know. 1. You love D&D, and this group will ruin that for you. A toxic group can sour things long term even with other groups, and this is toxic squared. 2. Said before but the most important advice. You have a right to remove yourself from any situation you fi
  • 20
    There are other groups when you put some distance from this in. Good luck man. 34 Reply Share Equivalent-Ad6944 · 1 day ago Characters can be transplanted and adapted once his mental health is better, and he's found a group that isn't a bag of d. .ks. Or, if playing the character still brings too many memories, the best parts of it can become the seed of a new one. Other than that, man, BAIL. Sc w those b....ards.
  • 21
    WispyWhitesmoke . 2 days ago These aren't your friends dude, they're hers. Cut them off and save yourself. 26 Reply Share Klagriph 2 days ago Exactly this. Friends don't keep playing and ignore you while you are too upset to play, they check in and talk. Friends don't mock and belittle you for a reasonable response to an emotional situation. No one at this table is your friend. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. 8 Reply Share
  • 22
    Hold-My-Butterbeer 2 days ago edited 2 days ago She says her friend and the DM had been planning that character for months. I'm willing to bet your ex-wife didn't decide she wanted a divorce overnight, and her best friend probably knew about it long before you. So this excuse doesn't actually disprove anything. It potentially makes things so much more cruel and calculated. You deserve to play with people who don't insult your intelligence with their thinly-veiled lies. 45 Reply Share
  • 23
    . bamf1701 2 days ago I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You aren't ridiculous for how you feel, and the whole situation was thoughtless and cruel. Considering what was going on in your life, it was not a good time for her to bring in that character. There are hundreds of backstories they could have chosen, and they chose that one. In respect for what someone in the group was going through in real life, they could have either made some changes to the background or held off introducing it for a

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article