‘You didn’t tell me you have children?’: After Being Married a Year a Woman Finds Out Her Husband Secretly Has Two Kids, And Now He Wants Her to Be the Mother

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 27, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. When you're with someone, it can take awhile to really get to know them. You could spend all your moments together, be at their place, have full access to their phone, and still they can be hiding a great deal. You never really know someone until the worst of their secrets come out, and those secrets can be bad. 

What a horrible stomach drop to find out the man you've married actually is a father of two. Cheating is one thing, and a horrible betrayal, but finding out your husband has kids is a different level of deceit. It's an obvious dealbreaker. How could someone even hide something so colossal for such a long time? The biggest red flag possible. Why would this man assume anyone will stay with him after hiding such a thing about his life? If you don't have trust in a relationship, you don't have anything. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    r/AITAH 6 mo. ago Initiative Dramatic11 AITAH for telling my husband if he fights for custody of his kids I will divorce him?
    via u/Initiative Dramatic11
  • 02
    | 27F am vehemently childfree, I am sterilized and have no intention of having or caring for any child. I married my husband, 33M, last year and did not know he had any children until 5 days ago. I travel for work, work for myself, and have amazing pay for very few active working hours (I am a honeymoon planner, owning my own business); we
    via u/Initiative Dramatic11
  • 03
    have a joint account for bills and our own separate accounts for savings and fun money.
    via u/Initiative Dramatic11
  • 04
    My husband sat me down 5 days ago and told me he hadn't been completely honest with me. And revealed he has 2 children 10M and 7F. He pays regular child support, however, it dips into his fun money and he wants to be able to have fun like I am, so he said he would fight for 50/50 custody.
    via u/Initiative Dramatic11
  • 05
    I was furious he had lied to me and was even more angry when he told me he wanted 50/50. He works 12-16 hour shifts as a nurse and that would mean I would have to take care of the children when I'm not working or are working from home. I told. him if he fights for custody, I will leave him. We have a prenup, so a divorce will be rather simple; I
    via u/Initiative Dramatic11
  • 06
    get 100% of my business, all of my savings and fun money, and the house, as I inherited it from my grandmother. He called me an and told me I should step up so that he can have more money in his savings and for fun. And because the kids won't be much hassle
    via u/Initiative Dramatic11
  • 07
    due to their ages. So AITA for telling him I will divorce him if he goes through with filing for custody?
    via u/Initiative Dramatic11
  • 08
    EDIT/UPDATE: Thank you all so much for helping me with this situation, I knew his lies were enough of a reason to divorce my, and I'm proud to announce, Soon To Be EX! I just didn't know if divorcing him with kids in the mix would make me an especially because he works so much. He has since vacated my house. I have spoken to my
    via u/Initiative Dramatic11
  • 09
    lawyer and am filing for an annulment! I can because he married me in an act of fraud. The AMA protects me as it was a fraudulent marriage. Thank you all once again!
    via u/Initiative Dramatic11
  • 10
    Taapacoyne5 • 6mo ago NTA. Listen, this is not only about him lying to you. This is about him wanting 50% custody of kids he hasn't visited in 3 years, in order to have some fun money. Those are f-ed up values. You should leave him for that.
    via u/Taapacoyne5
  • 11
    Hi_lm_Dadbot • 6mo ago NTA. That's a pretty big lie of omission. Like ... weirdly so. The type of thing which should come up in the first few dates, not the first few years of marriage. You do not know the man you married at all.
    via u/Hi_lm_Dadbot
  • 12
    He's asking for a very drastic change to the life you guys agreed to, so you're well within your rights to tell him off about that to go
    via u/Hi_lm_Dadbot
  • 13
    FloMoJoeBlow • 6mo ago NTA. He married you under false pretenses and is now looking for a nanny / sugar momma.
    via u/FloMoJoeBlow
  • 14
    Pumpkinbatteri • 6mo ago I'd be divorcing him just over the lie itself, not to mention wanting the secret children in your lives, and his reason behind it. He's a liar, a bad/absent father, and a manipulative partner. Please divorce him.
    via u/Pumpkinbatteri
  • 15
    knanocl⚫6mo ago NTA "I marry a woman who openly declares that she does not want to have children, so I hide from her that I have two children, what could go wrong?"
    via u/knanocl
  • 16
    Now is your turn: "move on and the liar!!!"
    via u/knanocl
  • 17
    SpringfieldMO_... 6mo ago NTA - a better title would be "Husband is a liar and I am divorcing him."
    via u/SpringfieldMO_
  • 18
    kikikoni • 6mo ago NTA at ALL. If you wanted kids, you'd have had them already. He probably knew you didn't want them, and wasn't upfront about it. He could have chosen to tell you before you married him a
    via u/kikikoni
  • 19
    year ago, but he didn't. He said "I do" KNOWING he was being dishonest, and did you a disservice. Imagine what else he could be dishonest about. Leave him. Edit to add: you COULD also consider an annulment.
    via u/kikikoni
  • 20
    Mobile_Prune_3... • 6mo ago NTA. You went into the marriage under the terms that it would be child free. He changed those terms by having two children he failed to disclose to you.
    via u/Mobile_Prune_3
  • 21
    He also wants to change the terms of your living arrangements by having these kids that presumably, he doesn't have that good a relationship with seeing that you didn't know they existed until five days ago.
    via u/Mobile_Prune_3
  • 22
    Frankly, he sounds like a terrible father. Only wanting custody under the misconception that he'll have more fun money for it. Are the kids going to eat air while they're around? Wash in the river? Sit in their rooms in the dark so they don't run up any household expenses?
    via u/Mobile_Prune_3

Tags

marriage secret drama relationships lol couples divorce love reddit thread red flag Reddit funny children dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article