Entitled mom demands husband’s ex-wife stop having fun with her bio kids when the stepsiblings aren’t present, ex-wife refuses: “You’re punishing them in unfair ways”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 28, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Salutations, everyone. In life we always need to stand our ground about the things we value and believe in. When we're younger, it can be easier to be cajoled into things we didn't actually want or expect in our lives, on large and small scales. Maybe your parents pushed you to a certain career, or discouraged you from one. Maybe a partner expects that you go above and beyond for their sake and not your own. Maybe a friend took advantage of you, and you lacked the words and disposition to tell them no. As we age, hopefully we learn some of those skills about setting and maintaining boundaries, instead of sitting maudlin in our pits of self-deprecation or low self-esteem issues. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a woman who's divorced, and her ex-husband's new wife is a bit of a nuisance. She expects that the protagonist postpone having fun with her own children until the stepchildren show up. 

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  • 01

    AITA for not waiting for my stepkids to be with us before doing something with my biological children?

    "It looks like you want to exclude them"
    via princigalli from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I have two children (4 and 2) with my husband and two stepkids (10 and 9) from his prior marriage. My husband and his ex-wife share physical and legal custody and have equal parenting time of their children. So my stepkids are with us every other week.
    via u/HoldEmFreen

  • Getting a divorce is one of the single most heartbreaking things someone can do in their life. Statistics show that it’s a leading cause of dissatisfaction in life, and it makes total sense. Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it should be normal. Hopefully in generations to come we won’t see soaring divorce rates like there were during the boomer marriages. 

  • 03
    For a while now my stepkids have been acting up when I'm left in charge. They're pushing far more boundaries, they tell me I'm not their mom repeatedly if I'm he only one around, their behavior in public when I go anywhere with them alone is worse and the won't listen if it's me talking to them. My
    via u/HoldEmFreen
  • 04
    husband is addressing this but his ex sees no issue with them not listening to me. She has told him she does not care. So it's entirely on us to address it and finding the right solution is taking time.
    via u/HoldEmFreen
  • 05
    My stepkids behavior is something my SIL has latched onto and she's accusing me of punishing them in unfair ways because of their behavior. And why is this? Because I do fun things with my kids, take them places, on days my stepkids are with their mom. I took my kids to a book fair that was running and we had a good day. I've taken them
    via u/HoldEmFreen
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10498890496
    via Zurijeta / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    shopping to let them pick out a new toy or plushy. Or we'd go to events at the library or to a movie. Those kinds of things that I do that are now being questioned.
    via u/HoldEmFreen
  • 08
    SIL does not think I should be doing most of that when my stepkids are with their mom and she said she feels I'm doing it as a way of punishing them for acting out on me when they don't with anyone else. She said it looks like I want to exclude them. My husband told her she was crazy and that life
    via u/HoldEmFreen
  • 09
    can't stop every other week because the kids aren't here. She told him it seems like I'm living it up with my real kids when the fake ones are with their real mom. I told her we do things with my stepkids all the time. That all I'm doing is making sure the weeks they're not here aren't spent waiting around
    via u/HoldEmFreen
  • 10
    for them. She asked why that would be a bad thing and I said it's because there are two other kids to think about. I told her she never said anything before. She said she's increasingly bothered by it because she sees the kids behavior getting worse and believes it's my way of punishing them.
    via u/HoldEmFreen
  • 11
    She asked me why I can't wait to do any big-ish stuff for when my stepkids are here. My husband told her to shut up and SIL said we were in denial and I should really think about this.
    via u/HoldEmFreen
  • 12
    I want to check because she has planted some doubt in my head about this. AITA?
    via u/HoldEmFreen
  • 13
    maitaivegas1 • 16h ago If any kids can't behave themselves in public, then I'm not taking them out somewhere. Going to the movies or something fun is a privilege not a right.
    via u/maitaivegas1
  • 14
    dr_lucia • 16h ago She told him it seems like I'm living it up with my real kids when the fake ones are with their real mom. Taking your kids to a book fair is "living it up"? It's not Disney World!
    via u/dr_lucia
  • 15
    Does their bio-mom not take them places? And if SIL thinks the kids are deprived of "living it up" why doesn't she take of a weekend to take them to extravagant, likely free, outings like, oh say, "the dog park". Oy! You are NTA
    via u/dr_lucia
  • 16
    FAMILY
    via hidesy from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    rhos1974 16h ago • Also, your bio kids are quite a bit younger than your step kids so they probably aren't even into the same activities.
    via u/rhos1974
  • 18
    samarademonx • 16h ago I understand this may seem. unfair at a glance, but I'm a full-time parent to my children. Their lives and experiences can't be put on hold every other week. I still do things with my stepkids when they're here-we just
    via u/samarademonx
  • 19
    can't make life revolve around a schedule that isn't ours to control
    via u/samarademonx
  • 20
    iknowsomethings2 • 16h ago NTA. You can't put your life on hold or that of your children's. Tell your SIL to ☺ or she can do fun things with your step children.
    via u/iknowsomethings2
  • 21
    Honestly if I were you I would leave the parenting of your step children completely to your husband and if they can't behave with him not around then they don't get to go out with you and SIL or another babysitter can look after them.
    via u/iknowsomethings2
  • 22
    Your husband needs to nip their behaviour in the bud and get them into therapy. I bet their mum is putting those ideas into the children's head to act up.
    via u/iknowsomethings2

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