Parents forget their daughter's 33rd birthday, get angry when her boyfriend wishes her 'Happy Birthday' online: 'Not saying anything and then posting about it was passive aggressive'

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    AITA for embarrassing my parents for forgetting my birthday?
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    I (F33) just had my birthday last week. The only problem is that no one in my family remembered. My maternal grandfather passed away about a month ago and my entire family (mom, dad, and 2 younger brothers) flew back to my mother's home country for the funeral. I, unfortunately, could not go as I've only recently started a new job. I wasn't particularly close to my grandfather so I wasn't too upset about staying behind. My family was gone for a total of 22 days and we FaceTimed and stayed in con
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    meet everyone. They got back last Wednesday and have been readjusting due to jet lag since then (understandably). My birthday was last Friday (2 days) after they got back. TBH, I wasn't expecting more than birthday wishes from everyone, but the day past without a word from anyone. Was I annoyed? Sure. But I wasn't too upset. I'm not the biggest birthday person. I ended up having a nice birthday dinner with my boyfriend and a few friends. All broke loose Saturday afternoon when I got a really ang
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    laid into me saying that they were sorry they forgot, but not saying anything and then posting about it online was passive aggressive and mean. I told him that I wasn't upset and that I didn't think a 33rd birthday was that big a deal anyway. He said a few more things before abruptly ending the call. I didn't hear from my family the rest of the weekend. Today (Monday) I woke up to a bunch of notifications. I guess my mom did a Facebook post talking about ungrateful kids and how I ruined their su
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    posted my own reply and said "You guys forgot and no one wished me a happy birthday unless you count dad calling and yelling at me". Both of my parents have been calling all morning, but I don't want to take their calls yet. AITA?
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    Britt Scherrer ⚫ 20 hr. ago NTA. Seems like they are trying to make you feel guilty for nothing. Were they really planning a surprise birthday party as per your mom's Facebook post?
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    anon_78912 OP. 20 hr. ago I have no idea. I asked my boyfriend about it and he said no one contacted him about it, but who knows.
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    Fianna9 20 hr. ago Doesn't seem likely. If they knew about your birthday and had something planned they would have just asked you over Saturday and "surprise!" Sounds like they are covering up that they forgot by trying to blame you
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    LingonberryPrior6896 · 18 hr. ago And I am sure they would have brought BF in on the surprise
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    MotherofCrowlings. 17 hr. ago I mean, her believing they forgot her birthday just makes the surprise better, no? Isn't that part of the classic misdirection of a surprise party? Let the birthday girl feel all sad that no one remembered until Surprise! She feels so much more love because of all the effort everyone went to. Like putting salt on caramel to make it taste sweeter. If it was true, they would have
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    been rubbing their hands together in glee and cackling about their amazing ability to plan a surprise party while in another country for over 3 weeks and dealing with funeral and estate stuff at the same time.
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    fidelises 10 hr. ago I would maybe believe that if dad hadn't called to yell about the boyfriend's post. They totally forgot. They were just embarrassed and told people they planned a surprise party to save face.
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    Maximum-Dealer-6208 15 hr. ago edited 15 hr. ago Their argument makes no sense... Let's say there IS a party... And it's obviously scheduled for after your actual birthday... How does your bf's post wishing you a happy birthday ruin the surprise party?
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    The party is still scheduled, and you still don't know about it, soooooo.... It seems like their surprise party should still be on...? Sooooo... no. This "ruined the surprise" argument is pretty lame. ΝΤΑ
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    embopbopbopdoowop 20 hr. ago . edited 19 hr. ago ΝΤΑ That their reaction is to get mad at and guilt trip you (for what? Having a boyfriend who makes a declaration of love on social media?!) to avoid having to feel any guilt or take any responsibility speaks volumes. Surprise party? To quite venerated philosopher Cher Horowitz, AS IF.
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    Dschingis_Khaaaaan · 20 hr. ago NTA - It's unfortunate but understandable that they may have forgotten given having to deal with your grandfathers passing, though you'd have every right to feel upset about them forgetting too.
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    But boy are they AH for trying to play the victim for their mistake and get everyone to blame you. If the truth of what they did shames them they only have themselves to blame. You didn't call them out, you defended yourself from their lies and manipulations. Good for you and happy belated birthday.
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    FitOrFat-1999. 20 hr. ago NTA. They embarrassed themselves. How do you think they would have reacted if you *had* mentioned it? "Oh don't be such a big baby" "You're too old for this" Etc. And "ruined their surprise birthday party for you"? Yeah, riiiiight.

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