as king of the toilet i here by decree that all citizens must use toilet paper

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Company asks employees to contribute money for boss’s gift, then gives it back, when they ask for it yet again, employee refuses: 'It's just I could really use that $10 to buy lunch or something'

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IT guy gets promoted by arriving late at 9 and leaving at 2 to attend a sites they can't access after their warnings about the ineffective process are ignored: 'You want me in 3 places at once? You got it!'

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