Greedy woman refuses to sign ex-boyfriends life insurance money over to his mom or his mother of 2 current girlfriend: 'I could really use this money and I think my ex knew that'

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    AITA for not declining or signing over my portion of my ex bfs life insurance payout too his mom?
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    I recently learnt that my ex bf passed away of cancer in March, his mom called me last week to inform me of his passing and to inform me that myself and her are listed as beneficiaries on his life insurance from his employer. She instantly tells me that she doesn't know why he never changed it but I can decline or sign the cheque over to her once I receive it.. Instantly I am in shock, he's gone? And he left me on there? Why?
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    I went back and forth wondering if this was on purpose or accidental.. it had been years, approximately 6 since we mutually civily split up. I was informed he had a new gf that lived with him and she has 2 kids from a previous relationship that threw a wrench into things more.. is there a reason she never got put on it? Was this all just a big mistake?
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    Today it has been 1 week and this has been very hard especially since his mom has been terrorizing me all week trying to get me to agree to give her this money. She has said the most hurtful things, and has sent me the most disrespectful photos and video of her son in his last moments.. As of right now I haven't even gotten in touch with the insurance company, I have no idea how much this is or if I need a lawyers help at this point.
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    Well today is the day I woke up knowing 100% I am keeping this money and I am not going to feel bad at all for helping my family with a gift my ex left for me. Unfortunately part of me still wonders if it's the right thing to do by my ex.. and if these were his wishes in the end.
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    A little info too add, my home burnt too the ground 3 years ago July 20th and October 1st 2 years ago my mom passed from cancer as well... it has been a long hard few years and this money would literally buy myself a new bra for the first time in 3 years.. my little clan could really use this money and I think my ex knew that..
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    Trash_panda422 · 1 day ago . edited 14 hr. ago YTA. You clearly were not meant to be the beneficiary. This is obviously an oversight, since you stated yourself that you had not spoken to him in ages, and broke up 6 years ago. People don't always update these things like they should, and he may have even forgotten that it existed. You should sign over the money to his mother and his current partner should receive a portion, especially since they live together and I'm sure she will have unexpected
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    Update: People keep commenting that you have to update your beneficiaries yearly. This absolutely not true for all companies and insurance policies. I worked as a state employee for 6 years and the only time I updated my life insurance beneficiaries was when I got married and requested to do so.
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    joe_eddie_13.23 hr. ago People don't always update things like they should........and people pay dearly for it.
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    starfire92 22 hr. ago. edited 22 hr. ago Yes they pay dearly - a heavy cost for a mistake. Thank you for saying this because it really shows how OP is YTA. The ex made a mistake that is putting his family in misfortune and OP is reaping the benefit of it. Your statement puts in full view what the perceived intentions were, if the ex intended OP to have the
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    money then it wouldn't be a mistake, they wouldn't be paying dearly bc it's what they would have wanted, and somehow OP has convinced herself that that is likely the case. Calling it a gift from her ex.
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    That's like the difference when you lose your wallet and a good person will return it and a bad one will take the money out and ditch it. This isn't r/legal advice, we're not here to debate the legality of a situation or whether OP is in her rights. We're here to discuss if what she's doing is AH behaviour and yes taking advantage of a mistake that puts other people in misfortune makes you a bad guy. Not only did that family lose someone, a
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    son, a boyfriend etc, they now have to give away his insurance money to his ex of 6 years ago. Anyone including OP who thinks the ex died wanting that money to go to the ex in some sort of dying wish charity is delusional. This is classless behaviour and devoid of any kind of decent human being integrity and character. She is willing to convince herself of delusions for a payday at the expense of a grieving family and is using the mother's relentless behaviour to justify punishing her.
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    Harmonia PASB - 22 hr. ago When an ex died years ago I found out that I was still on a life insurance policy, almost 10 years after we had broken up. I didn't hesitate to sign the check over to his mom. It was the right thing to do. OP is a huge AH if she keeps this money.
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    Ravonn 19 hr. ago Especially if that money would be used to pay for his cancer treatments or funeral.
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    TSHJB302 17 hr. ago But OP needs a new bra /s
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    SoupidyLoopidy. 21 hr. ago I love the sad story op put on there to justify all of this too. Your house burned and I'm sure you had insurance. OP is not just an , they are morally bankrupt for thinking they are entitled to this money. Legally yes, but morally absolutely not.
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    nervelli 20 hr. ago And the fact that she had a fire three years after they broke up and three years before he died has nothing to do with his life insurance. "I think he knew I needed this money." He most certainly did not know or care. And if he did know that she was in a bad financial situation, putting her on his life insurance is the most ridiculous way of helping with that. It's
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    not like he was planning on dying so that he could help his ex of six years with her bills. You can afford a new bra now? Cool. Meanwhile, his mom is trying to figure out how she is going to pay for a funeral so that she can bury her child.
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    adeelf 19 hr. ago "I think he knew I needed this money." That part was legit hilarious. You can literally even see delusional people in the comments making the same argument. Definitely, guys, that Imakes total sense. He consciously and deliberately decided to leave half of the insurance money to a
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    girl he used to date many years ago, hasn't spoken to in years but somehow "knows" she could use the money, and opted not to leave anything to the partner who he was actively in a relationship with (who has 2 kids to boot). That makes total sense!

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