Chairman singles out only female board member, asking her to watch visiting politician's children: 'I do not have any children, but everyone else on the board [does]'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jun 20, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Volunteering your time to an organization remains exactly that: volunteer work. You're not being compensated for your time, so you'd hope that your contributions would at least be appreciated and that you'd be treated respectfully during your time there. Still, organizations that rely heavily on volunteer work can have the tendency to—well, forget this—and take the unpaid hours of their dedicated volunteers for granted, treating them as if they were subordinates instead. After all, where there is any small shred of power that someone might hold over other people, there is going to be someone salivating over the opportunity to abuse it—especially, for some reason, in volunteer and hobbyist communities, where gatekeeping and presumptive hierarchy are absurdly rampant. 

This volunteer on the community stewardship board received a somewhat strange email from the board's chairman announcing that a politician would soon be visiting with his children. In the email, he directly asked the volunteer, the only woman on the board and the only member without children of their own, whether she could watch the politician's children during his visit.

There's not a whole lot of other context here as to whether or not the chairman who sent the email has other prejudices, so we won't make assumptions about his character. This could be excused as being simply misguided, it's important that this individual at least check their thinking and issue some sort of apology to the female board member. No matter how you look at it, it's shamefully silly, at best, to think that the one member who doesn't have any experience with children would be the best suited for handling them. 

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  • 01
    "It would be great if you were able to 'look after' his kids."
    via Campaign Creators
  • 02

    "I am the only woman on a volunteer community stewardship board. Chair of the board decided to only send this to me, none of the men."

    Hi OP! Executive Director has organized to take Politician/ Minister of Climate to see the old growth forest in the local protected area kids too. . Apparently Mr Minister is bring his It would be great if you were able to "look after" his kids and show them the wonders of our natural habitats. If we can enthuse them for protecting nature then we may be able to harness the "pester power" of kids to influence their father. I realize that this is during a working week but this is a great opportuni
    via sparklyunibrow

    This email was shared with a popular online community where the Original Poster (OP) shared how she received it from the chairman of the organization for which she volunteers.

  • 03

    She added this context to the image.

    I am the only woman on a volunteer community stewardship board. Chair of the board decided to only send this to me, none of the men. I have a demanding Monday to Friday job with our provincial health department.
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 04

    The OP responded to a few of the comments from readers to their post.

    WendigoCrossing I'd probably reply with 'did you only send this to me because I'm a woman?' I do like to give people the opportunity to better themselves, sometimes a gentle, direct approach allows for learning sparklyunibrow OP I did this!
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 05
    Madmandocv1 · 7 hr. ago Thats annoying. It's also annoying to be a man and to get the impression that everyone thinks you must be incompetent or dangerous around children. sparklyunibrow OP 6 hr. ago Yes, it's awful. There are lovely men on the board who are great with kids (I am not).
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 06
    Commercial_Place 9807 8 hr. ago The only way I could see this being in anyway appropriate is if OP is the only person on the team with kids, but any decent dad will be better with kids than a woman without them. sparklyunibrow OP. 7 hr. ago I do not have any children, but everyone else on the board
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 07

    More readers shared their thoughts and advice

    OkeyDokey654 11 hr. ago. Ugh. I'd say "I'm not available. You probably should have sent this to the entire board if you were looking for volunteers."
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 08
    danedori 10 hr. ago Pass the message along to the rest of the board saying "The chair forgot to include all of you on this message and accidentally sent it only to me." And make sure to cc the chair on it.
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 09
    symbolsandthings ⚫ 10 hr. ago Why does the minister of climate need pestering from his children to be influenced to protect nature?
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 10

    This is the email that the Original Poster (OP) sent to the chairman who sent her the email, shared in a second post to the online community...

    Re: Visit of minister Hi Chair, I've forwarded this to the rest of the group, hoping somebody else may be able to help out. I'm not sure if the request came solely to me because I am the youngest board member (and female) - but I'll admit I was taken aback. I have a demanding job that I am very committed to, and being asked to look after children does not tap into the strengths I strive to bring to the association. I suspect it wasn't your intent to make me feel disrespected as a contributing bo
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 11
    The commitment I made to continue on as type of is already challenging based on my officer other responsibilities, and if I'm honest, this is an ongoing feeling of not being taken seriously/ accepted, and makes me uncertain if staying on is the right decision. association I know that the Λ is committed to partnering with our diverse community, and being mindful of how we come across to those we communicate with is something we should be able to pride ourselves on. I thought it was important to b
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 12

    They added this text as clarification to their second post

    This is the response I sent to the chair of the stewardship organization after receiving the email detailed in my last post. A few things to note: 1. I understand why someone might be more comfortable having a woman watching their children than a man, and can agree that it's awful that as a society we have to be so afraid of leaving children with men. That is not what this is about.
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 13
    2. I don't have any children, and usually have a hard time relating to them. Kids just aren't really my thing. The men on the board have never experienced me interacting with kids. 3. This is a volunteer role that I took on in hopes of contributing positively to my community. I do not get paid, and stand to lose nothing by posting these emails (other than getting booted off the board, therefore being set free of its grim misogynistic culture). 4. The date in question is a Wednesday. I would have
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 14
    sparklyunibrow OP. 2 hr. ago ALSO! I forwarded his email to the rest of the board, asking if someone with more flexibility or experience with children was available for the date. • reallesparo 2 hr. ago Great job! Would love to know what his response is
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 15
    ssfailboat 2 hr. ago • Proud of you for stepping up. No matter the response, that was a blatantly sexist move. They should be reevaluating their staffing as well if you're the only female. volunteer. What would they have done if you weren't there? Because that's what they need to be doing.
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 16
    JadeLily_Starchild 2 hr. ago Fantastic response!!! Nicely done! I'm so sorry you had to deal with this at all but your response was chefs kiss
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 17
    Allafreya 2 hr. ago OP being a professional when the rest of us wanted scorched earth. Well done and well said.
    via u/sparklyunibrow
  • 18
    BenedictineBaby 2 hr. ago Seriously looking forward to the reply from him and any other board members.
    via u/sparklyunibrow

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