MIL Deliberatly Excludes New Mother from Newborn Baby Photos, Sparking Family Conflict

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Aug 4, 2024 7:00 PM EDT

A baby's birth is a momentous occasion. An occasion to be honored and treasured. But shouldn't the mother also get some kind of respect or credit for all the hard work she put in before the baby arrived?

The story of a frustrated daughter-in-law is presented below. The original poster (OP) had recently welcomed her first child into the world. Everyone is in awe of the blushing baby, and deservedly so. However, rather than indulging OP and making her feel like the superwoman that she is, the mother-in-law is taking it upon herself to keep her out of the festivities.

That being said, if you want to find out more about the MIL–DIL relationship, be sure to read the story below! Additionally, after you're done, remember to read about the woman who discovers her partner has been living a double life for the whole time they have been together!

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  • 01
    Partner came up to me the next day asking for me to take a nice photo of him and baby together (I don't have one yet, just that one of me half d d). It was unusual of him since he hates photos and he said it's because MIL wanted photos of just LO and partner. I was p ed, no one else has asked that, my family who live on the other side of the world didn't specifically ask to exclude my partner from photos.
    via canva
  • 02
    "Send photo of newborn, but exclude the mum" said evil MIL
    via u/Jumpy-cricket
  • 03
    I just gave birth and my partner sent MIL some photos of baby and a photo of me and baby on me straight after I gave birth (not a nice family photo of me and baby, more of a birthing photo of a little bean on my chest while I'm half conscious, a photo I now regret allowing partner to send to her since it's raw and personal).
    via u/Jumpy-cricket
  • 04
    Partner came up to me the next day asking for me to take a nice photo of him and baby together (I don't have one yet, just that one of me half dd). It was unusual of him since he hates photos and he said it's because MIL wanted photos of just LO and partner. I was ped, no one else has asked that, my family who live on the other side of the world didn't specifically ask to exclude my partner from photos.
    via u/Jumpy-cricket
  • 05
    W f?? Am I hormonal or do I have a right to be irritated by this? Is this exceptionally r de or is it normal for mums to want blood relative only photos? Maybe it would be different if it wasn't hours after I gave birth, reinforcing the fact that she only wants photos of partner and baby. Especially because I'm NC with her because she excludes and disrespect me, and hasn't apologized. UGHHH
    via u/Jumpy-cricket
  • 06
    IFartAtU · 17 hr. ago You're postpartum, so yes you are hormonal, but her behaviour is also irritating, especially at such a sensitive and challenging time where you should be given all the love, care and support. Perhaps, If there was no bad history between you two this wouldn't have. been a big deal. Unfortunately, excluding and disrespecting you (and probably others) is
    via u/IFartAtU
  • 07
    normal for her, so for your own sake, let go of any expectations you may have and focus your energy on things and people that matter. You're nurturing your little one so you probably already realise that you don't have time for her nonsense anyway. Your MIL will likely continue being who she is, take comfort in knowing that people like her often stand in their own way. One can't just
    via u/IFartAtU
  • 08
    side step and be ab ve to the parent while trying to have a connection with a grand baby. The onus is on her, as someone older and hopefully wiser to apologise/make an effort to repair her relationship with you (babies' mother!) or at least start treating you with basic respect. If there is a decent person in
    via u/IFartAtU
  • 09
    her she will remember what the first months with an infant are like and will try to be helpful. If not, that's ok too, she will miss out on very many great moments in life. Her loss, and probably your relief. All the best and congratulations!
    via u/IFartAtU
  • 10
    Jumpy-cricket OP 17 hr. ago Thank you for your wise and gentle advice it's true I need to focus on our little family and accept she won't change. Wish I could push an off switch on my brain sometimes.
    via u/Jumpy-cricket
  • 11
    SnooPets8873 - 17 hr. ago I get that she is overall a terrible person, but we absolutely have pictures of just dad with baby and just mom with baby. Why is wanting that wrong? Or is it not in general wrong, but just in this context?
    via u/SnooPets8873
  • 12
    pray21702 17 hr. ago No. And I wouldn't let her meet the baby either. Sc w her - disrespecting momma means no access to the littles. You've got this momma bear!! Time for DH to tell her no. And congratulations!!!
    via u/pray21702
  • 13
    spanielgurl11 · 17 hr. ago I'm sorry I just went back and read your first post and... his mom made you pay rent? Just you and not him? And not only did he let her do that to you, he let you pay it? While he was working and you were not? And you had a kid with him? This is a husband problem one million percent.
    via u/spanielgurl11
  • 14
    Jumpy-cricket OP 17 hr. ago Yeah, he's much better now and often doesn't see something as wrong until I point out why and how. He's been bought up in this dynamic, but the main thing is that he understands once I explain.
    via u/Jumpy-cricket
  • 15
    AdExcellent3562 · 18 hr. ago My mom did this to my DH in the hospital. She said she wanted to take a photo and I told DH come here. My mom was like "no just of you". I was like no, DH too. She took the photo and it was awkward af. Vs. my dad, took a photo of Me, DH & baby all together. Not excluding anyone.
    via u/AdExcellent3562
  • 16
    I text my mom after telling her how horrible it was to exclude DH and how hurt he must have felt. It hurt me too. I know if his mom did that to me I would be bawling my eyes out. It's not ok. It's a horrible thing to do at a very personal & raw time. She is not entitled to any photos nor entitled to dictate what you both do during this special time. Its hurtful. I'm sorry she did this to you. and
    via u/AdExcellent3562
  • 17
    MSPB01 18 hr. ago . "No - and don't expect any time with the LO either."
    via u/MSPB01
  • 18
    madgeystardust. 18 hr. ago Your partner is the one you should be mad at, he went along with it KNOWING why you're NC with his mother and he expected YOU to facilitate HIM & HER doing it again. I'm side-eyeing your man here...
    via u/madgeystardust
  • 19
    Familiar_Season8438 · 18 hr. ago In a dynamic without your history there is absolutely nothing weird about the request for a photo of just one parent and baby, especially since there was already one sent of you and baby (even if it's not a 'nice' photo). It's completely normal to get one on one photos of each person with the baby. It's not innately excluding in a malicious way. If it was
    via u/Familiar_Season8438
  • 20
    specifically phrased as bl d relatives only that would be weird. It's perfectly reasonable for mom to want a picture of their baby with the new baby... So don't worry so much about this and focus more on how problematic the rest of the relationship is.
    via u/Familiar_Season8438
  • 21
    Mollys19 18 hr. ago • Did you take the picture? DONT send it to her. Your NC with her? If your DH sends MIL this picture, that would be really disrespectful towards you and would let MiL know she can do whatever she wants with no consequences. Send her just a pic of you
    via u/Mollys19
  • 22
    • Jumpy-cricket OP 18 hr. ago · edited 18 hr. ago I did and he sent it I was still out of it from giving birth and I remember being hurt by this request and not really knowing why. This all happened a week ago and now I'm feeling better and reflecting on it.
    via u/Jumpy-cricket
  • 23
    Fun_Chip8222. 19 hr. ago Nobody does that unless they want to you off. That alone should earn your MIL a massive timeout for any pics or anything of that sort. What is it with them wanting so bad to toss DIL out?
    via u/Fun_Chip8222

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