Pregnant woman chooses baby name with her twin sister, abandons plan made with her husband: 'I thought she truly respected me'

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    AITA for telling my wife I'm not okay with her naming our daughter with her sister instead of me?
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    My wife (26f) is pregnant with our first child. She did a test to determine the sex of the baby early in her pregnancy (first trimester) and we found out we were going to be parents to a little girl. Really quickly we decided our daughter was going to be named Adora. The name holds special meaning to us. She
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    was always a huge fan of She-Ra and loved the OG show and the remake. We actually bonded over the remake show. I (27m) thought it was a sweet name and loved that it had a deeper personal connection for the two of us. The middle name was still not entirely set in stone but the first name was.
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    My wife is now 6 months pregnant and her twin sister is expecting a baby boy 3 months after our daughter is due.
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    Three weeks ago they started talking about baby names and all of a sudden my wife told me that she and her sister decided the babies should have timeless names that fit with their family names (Emily and Elizabeth, James and Haley, their parents, William, Hannah and Grace, their siblings). So my wife and her
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    sister chose the name Katherine for our daughter instead and SILS son will be Alexander. I was hurt and more than a little peeved. My wife asked me why I had that expression on my face and I told her I was not okay with her naming our daughter with her sister instead of me. I told her we
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    had chosen the name Adora. She never expressed second thoughts about the name. We were just working on a middle name. I told her I was supposed to be the baby's other parent, not her sister, yet she takes her sisters opinion on board and decides they'll name the child we're having together. I told her I had not expected that from her.
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    That I thought she truly respected me and was excited to be on this journey together. She asked me if I was really that upset about it and I said yes. I told her I wouldn't lie and say I was okay with it. I told her she basically cut me out of the process in the end if she were to go ahead with this.
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    My wife has been quiet since this. Her sister was furious with me for telling my wife I wasn't okay with it. She told me I should respect their twinness and I got to make all other decisions with my wife so why was I being such about this. She told an me to get over myself and then she accused me of acting like a child.
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    • Own-Kangaroo6931 5 hr. ago Why can't it be Adora Katherine? You said you hadn't settled on a middle name.
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    NTA for speaking up about this and you totally need to be able to discuss your own child's name, it really is none of her sister's business, but you can see how they think it would be cute to have matching names being twins. BUT you are the father, and she is being unreasonable to not see how this would impact you.
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    Competitive-Tie8840 OP. 5 hr. ago Katherine is supposed to be the first name to fit with the rest of their family and with her cousin. The middle name was again meant to be to be decided.
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    ShowmasterQMTHH. 3 hr. ago NTA at all, your wifes twin can offer an opinion, but naming your child is your responsibility, if you're wife wants a "strong family name" then fine, second name.
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    When my daughter was born, we had a handful of names picked and we said we'd look and see what we felt when she arrived, I'd wanted Charlotte, and my Wife was thinking of either Caitlin or Holly.
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    So when we were looking at our new baby, my wife suggested Eleanor. Hadn't been on the list at all, but we both loved the name, and She's Eleanor Holly.
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    But i'll tell you this, that statement "get over our Twinliness" thats a massive issue, where you will always be secondary to her twin, its not a healhy thing in a relationship. 2s company, 3s a crowd.
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    SunsetSeaTurtle .5 hr. ago NTA... by some odd twist of time, does the twin sister happen to be a 4 year old child? Because that's about how mature she's acting. Not that your wife is being any level of mature herself. Parenting decisions are to be made by the parents, not unilaterally, and not with one's womb mate...
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    • NeptunianCat 4 hr. ago NTA. If they want to go with join twinsies names, why can't SIL name her son Adam since that is He-Man's real name and he and She-ra are twins? Or, if she dislikes Adora now, that is fine. But you should certainly be involved in the new choice then.
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    NoWriter8559 - 4 hr. ago NTA....but definitely have a disussion going forward about boundaries with sister cause i guarantee, judging by the sounds of things, that you in fact will not get to make all other decisions without interference in future.

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