‘He said it was time for me to grow up’: Pregnant girlfriend gets empowered by the internet to leave boyfriend in the dust after he trashes her rare toy collection

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 4, 2024 8:00 AM EDT

Never let a man tell you what you should like—our quirks are what make us the enchanting women we are.

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  • Hobbies are important for everyone to have. After all, hobbies allow us to take on new skills or interests which set us apart from others. Individuality is what makes us special. In particular, having differing hobbies in romantic relationships lets us learn from our partners and appreciate them for all of their quirks and intricacies. It's like designated me-time. “While you go play Elden Ring, I'll doom scroll on TikTok.” That's what makes relationships work so well. So why would one's partner attempt to change or even ruin their interests and prized possessions? You'd be surprised at how petty some partners can get when they think they're in the right.

    The woman in this story newly found out she is expecting her first child with her boyfriend. She's been building a collection of nostalgic toys that she holds dearly to her heart for the last 13 or so years. After going away to visit her father for a few days, the woman comes home to find that all of her quirky collectibles are nowhere to be seen. Her boyfriend doesn't even deny that he had disposed of them, urging her she needs to put her childhood behind her if a baby is on the way.

  • 01
    My (25F) boyfriend (40M) got rid of my collection without asking me but says he didn't do it to hurt me; how do I get past this?
    via throwra-collectbye
  • 02
    We have been together for a year and a half and I recently found out that I am pregnant with our first child. Since i was 12 I've collected a particular type of dolls and associated merchandise and I'm really passionate about it, I had a pretty extensive collection after 13 years! Obviously now that I'm not 12 anymore I don't play with them, but I have a couple shelves in my office, a few of my favorites in the bedroom and a few on the bookshelf in the living room. He has room for his hobby stuf
    via throwra-collectbye
  • 03
    He has said before he thought they were more for kids, but at the same time, he's bought me dolls, even helping me find rare ones at times so I thought he came around to them and I was surprised to find, after going to visit my dad for a few days, that he had gotten rid of my entire collection when I came back. Everything is gone. I haven't stopped crying since I got back and we had the biggest fight. He said he made the decision because now that we're having a baby it's time for me to grow up a
    via throwra-collectbye
  • 04
    wasn't there. He says his intentions were good but I'm so, so devastated. I've never been more upset in my entire life. My question is: how can I get over this and move past it, and stop feeling like this was a betrayal, since he says he meant it with good intentions? I've just never felt this sad in my whole life.
    via throwra-collectbye
  • 05
    Enough_Insect4823 · 13h ago He's testing your boundaries now that he thinks you can't leave.
    via Enough_Insect4823
  • 06
    keldawgz 12h ago • "He said he made the decision because now that we're having a baby it's time for me to grow up and get rid of them, but he thought it would be easier on me if he did it when I wasn't there." And why does he feel he has the right to make these decisions unilaterally for you? He seems to feel it's fine for him to have complete authority over you based on whatever he thinks is best.
    via keldawgs
  • 07
    coccopuffs606 • 12h ago It feels like a betrayal because it is one. For further context, dude is 40 and dating a 25 year old woman...he's doing this to you because women his own age wouldn't put up with that . He thinks he can dispose of your property because he doesn't see you as an equal partner.
    via coccopuffs606
  • 08
    bored-panda55 • 13h ago You need to ask him how he got rid of them and then go get them back. Did he sell them? Throw them out? Or donate them to Goodwill? He had no right to do that without talking to you first. He knew you would say no and went with the horrible advice of better to ask for forgiveness then permission.
    via bored-panda55
  • 09
    • WildlyUninteresting ⚫ 14h ago That's actually a crime. He disposed of property that wasn't his own and additionally you valued. It was malicious because he would have asked you first. You should have ended the relationship immediately but now you are having a baby with him. Expect no respect from him.
    via WildlyUninteresting
  • 10
    5pinktoes • 13h ago Wait. Whut!? Am I the only one who picked up on the age gap? lol. 25 year old woman and a 40 year old man?!
    via 5pinktoes
  • 11
    PleaseCoffeeMe ⋅ 12h ago You don't. Start boxing his hobbies up, when he asks, repeat back, "we're having a baby, it's time for you to grow up and get rid of them", "I don't know why you're upset, I have good intentions". He should have had a conversation with you. The two of you could have compromised on the number on display. He didn't. He didn't have good intentions.
    via PleaseCoffeeMe
  • 12
    lecorbeauamelasse • 12h ago This was a betrayal. You do not need to get past this, and you do not need to "grow up". I still keep many things others would consider "childish" and surprise, I am a woman in her fifties who holds down a job and owns a house. Your hobbies have nothing to do with your maturity.
    via lecorbeauamelasse
  • 13
    Tell him that you are a grown woman and that you do not need him to tell you how to behave or what to own. Tell him he is going to either restore your collection to its full extent or pay you to replace it. This should be non-negotiable. He stole from you. His reaction to your demand will be very telling, and help you decide what to do next.
    via lecorbeauamelasse
  • 14
    Gold-Cover-4236 13h ago • I would never get over this. HE made the decision for YOU? What the heck? He owns you now? You are a small child mentally so your big smarter man called the shots? For YOU? This is a massive red flag.
    via Gold-Cover-4236
  • 15
    MadPanda2023 11h ago . Side story: my husband loves wrestling and wrestling belts. I'm not a fan. I would never get ride of his wrestling belts. Ever. He had them from before we were together. I know they are important to him.
    via MadPanda2023
  • 16
    . AnSplanc 6h ago This is a deal breaker. Touching your stuff without permission and getting rid of them is absolutely out of order. He'd flip if you did the same to him. He's controlling and it's about to escalate as soon as the baby is born. Get out now before you're trapped with him
    via AnSplanc
  • 17
    intolerablefem • 6h ago This absolutely wasn't his decision. to make. He needs to get them back. If he can't, you need to break up with him. There was no other reason for this aside from control. Actually: get your dolls back and break up anyway. It's a sign of to come. 9
    via intolerablefem
  • 18
    fintechgeek20-07 · 6h ago Nop it's a betrayal common you were collecting it since you were 12. And honestly he was just pretending to care so that he gets what he wants. As soon as you left he showed his true colours. If it was time for baby then why not keep the doll around as kids can enjoy their mother's beloved collection. It's so stupid. I have seen grown up men play with toy cars. This guy is toxic.
    via fintechgeek20-07
  • 19
    Azlazee1 • 12h ago This was not done with good intentions. He knew you would be upset so he did it when you were away. Have you asked what he did with them? Any chance of recovering any. The only honest thing he said was he thought it was time for you to grow. This is the real reason here. Funny thing about trust, once you blow it it's hard to regain. Personally I would end the relationship. If he cared about your feelings at all this never would have happened. What a POs. I'm angry for you!
    via Azlazee1
  • 20
    throwra-collectbye edit: to reduce the number of notifications in my phone when i go to sleep i'm logging out but will log back in tomorrow probably! i wanted to say thank you guys, without having posted i probably would have continued to be sad but never seen the situation in the light I see it now. I have hope for the recovery of some of my beloved dolls if not all of them and I plan to approach that situation with some of the advice given here in hopes of recovery!
    via thowra-collectbye

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boyfriend relationship advice drama motherhood relationships entitled Reddit cheezcake toxic relationship dating betrayal
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