25 moments people realized their partners were not bright: '[He was] 27 years old and didn't brush his teeth on the weekends'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jul 10, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

According to the laws of probability, everyone is guaranteed to end up on at least one date with someone who is out of their mind or wildly misinformed. It's about as common as the probability of getting food poisoning. It's going to happen in your lifetime at least once… 

If you're lucky, you'll have the epiphany that the person sitting on the opposite side of the restaurant table is a moron before there are any notable strings attached. Ideally, you'll catch it on the first date so that neither of you will end up wasting one another's time on subsequent dates or before something is holding you down, such as an apartment, a marriage, or a kid. 

Some of these folks had their epiphanies early while others ended up having to go through the misery that is divorce. One has to question whether or not the latter individuals had major tunnel vision because how can you not realize your partner of several years does not understand how the world works? Keep scrolling below for the full list of anecdotes. For more, check out this compilation of delivery food fiascos.

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  • 01
    "We had a heated debate about whether or not dinosaurs were alive during the American Revolution."
    via Jamie Street
  • 02
    Sudden Exorcism 1 day ago We had a heated debate about whether or not dinosaurs were alive during the American Revolution. Her stance was 'there's really no way to know'
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 03
    GameVoid 1 day ago She said that the temperature in her house never changed, so she couldn't understand why she was always hot/cold. She had never taken the packaging off of the digital thermometer, so she was just looking at a sticker that said 72 degrees.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 04
    theredgoldlady. 1 day ago. edited 23 hr. ago In my early 20's, I started living with my boyfriend at the time. I got my pand he demanded to know what I had done with the egg. Folks, this 21-year- old man, whose mother was a nurse, who had a sister that had just given birth to twins, thought that human women LAID AN EGG when they had their po.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 05
    BobsleddingToMyGrave ⚫ 1 day ago They put shrimp in my food to see if I am really allergic to seafood or just being ' dramatic." Anaphylaxis occurred, epi-pen deployed, ambulance trip. The hospital suggested I press charges. They never admitted it was the wrong thing to do. They never apologized.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 06
    • jlaux 1 day ago Google had an April Fool's joke one year where if you lick your phone screen, you can actually taste the object of what's being displayed on the screen. Needless to say, she did it several times and said it didn't work.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 07
    Boris9397 1 day ago . edited 23 hr. ago I took her out to dinner, gave her two options: an Italian restaurant or just like a regular restaurant where they served all kinds of stuff. She said she really hated Italian food, so we went to the regular restaurant. Where she ordered a lasagna.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 08
    thatsprettylitbro⚫ 1 day ago An ex dropped me off the first day at a job. He was late picking me up and when I called 30 min after my closing shift to see what was up, he said it was because the car was stolen. I called to find another ride so a friend came to get me instead. Homeboy drove across the street to get a soda AND WALKED HOME. HE FORGOT THE CAR. We saw it on the way back to the apartment.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 09
    AdInevitable2695. 1 day ago My ex would find a recipe online, not follow it, and blame the recipe for being . Things like subbing breadcrumbs with flour, adding pepper flakes in dishes that are not spicy. Those were the most disgusting swedish meatballs I've ever had.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 10
    ageekyninja 1 day ago edited 16 hr. ago He kept littering. I really hate littering. The day he spit his gum out on the sidewalk of a zoo I called him out on it. He says "It will evaporate". I laughed and said "Thats funny but no seriously you should just use the trash can.". He gave me a confused look. Thats when I realized he was serious. He was so convinced that trash evaporates in the sun we had a full on debate about it.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 11
    . jsmys 1 day ago We watched Shrek and she didn't believe that the guy who voiced Shrek was the same guy who played Austin Powers because "their accents aren't the same." I explained that it was the same actor doing different voices. She couldn't fathom it. When I told her that Austin Powers' voice wasn't the actor's real voice either, that was too much for her to handle.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 12
    AdSalt9219 1 day ago College girlfriend who was not a fully-functioning adult. Zero life skills. Got a flat tire while driving alone, stood by the car acting helpless until a guy stopped and offered to help. He changed it, but unbeknownst to her had set the parking brake. She gets in her car and it won't go anywhere because the parking brake was set. She runs out of the car and asks the guy, "my car won't go, did you put the wheel on backwards?" No, she actually told everybody about it.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 13
    MainKaleidoscope4942. 1 day ago When I mentioned that a particular restaurant made their own pickles and he firmly corrected me, informing me that "pickles grow on bushes."
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 14
    ajellis13 1 day ago Not sure if she's the idiot or her friend. She got a tattoo from her friend with the word Angle on it. Obviously it was supposed to say Angel.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 15
    luculia 1 day ago . when my ex decided to dine and dash but was stupid enough to leave his car in the parking lot of the place i picked him up from..... drove him back took his wallet and made him pay the full tab and tipped the poor girl who was crying in the back $30
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 16
    Ok_Honeydew_1946 - 1 day ago After moving in together. Me: "your breath is kicking go brush your teeth" Him: "I don't brush on the weekends" He was 27. 27 years old and didn't brush his teeth on the weekends like a 5 year old. I should have ran then instead of waiting a year.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 17
    oh_sheaintright. 1 day ago He thought the nation anthem started 'Jose can you see'
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 18
    Overt_ 1 day ago When she told me she doesn't tell me all kinds of stuff because she is afraid of manifesting negativity. Our relationship fell apart because I wanted to communicate and she wanted to remain silent and pretend everything is great
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 19
    Complete-Source-5928. 1 day ago Ex of my best friend: thought that a (online-) cloud is located in the actual clouds and was really concerned about his data getting lost when it started raining. Dude was 19 and working in trades
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 20
    DJBreadwinner 1 day ago. edited 19 hr. ago We were walking together in a park when an older lady with a small dog passed by, and she, inquiring about the dog, asked the owner, "is that a Belgian Waffle?" I laughed my ass off and thought it was the funniest joke I had ever heard until I realized she was entirely straight faced.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 21
    AceButcher 1 day ago • We were eating curry and we got talking about rice. She didn't believe that a rice plant produced more than one grain. "Now that would be an incredible amount of rice plants just for our meal" got her to start thinking she might be wrong.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 22
    TheGreyling 1 day ago I have a copper bracelet I wear on occasion. It was hot out and I was getting sweaty so after several hours I had some green tarnish marks on my wrist. She freaked out thinking it was an allergic reaction. I tried explaining it was just from the salt and the same reaction is what made the statue of liberty green. Nope, still couldn't grasp it and thought I was dying.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 23
    TwattySeahag 1 day ago The first time he stayed the night I heard him talking to his friend on the phone the next morning (this was before texting) and he said, "Hey man guess what this girl has, like, BOOKS and
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 24
    Ghostyped 1 day ago My ex-wife said that the reason I don't enjoy the big Bang theory is because "I don't understand astrophysics" while snapping her fingers
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 25
    roboticeyebrows. 1 day ago She and I climbed a small mountain about ten miles from the ocean. When we got to the top, she sees a small lake at the base of the mountain and asks me if it was the ocean. I started to laugh but caught myself when I realized she was serious.
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***
  • 26
    whelpseeyoulaterr⚫ 1 day ago He bragged that he's never read a book. I asked him how he managed school and he replied "cliff notes or cheated". I then asked what about a book growing up or on a fun topic you enjoy replied "that's what tv and movies are for!"
    via u/dm_me_yourtiny***

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