'How many days do we have for a 45 day return?': 20+ Customer questions that were complete nonsense

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jul 19, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

Customer service workers, you're doing the world a favor every time you politely answer the silliest question you've ever heard. They won't train you for this in most customer-facing roles. You think that customers will more or less know what's going on… but that's not the case. In fact, it seems like many jobs just require the worker to answer the same customer questions over and over and over. 

Some customers are special, though. They're so confused that their questions make the workers pause to make sure they've heard the customer correctly. Like, what do you mean you can't use the password provided? You didn't think it would work? So you deleted the email containing the password? And now you're wondering why you can't log in? The question answers itself, but the customer is still utterly clueless.

More than 15,000 people responded to the question on u/Emmaleep's mind: "What is the dumbest question a customer or client has ever asked you at your job?" You can check out some of the funniest answers down below. 

After that, read about the people who have at least one coworker they cannot stand, like the bartender who can't handle pressure, yet keeps picking up the busiest weekend shifts to work. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10375928064
    via Austin Distel on Unsplash
  • 02
    Reddit what is the dumbest question a customer or client has ever asked you at your job?
    via u/Emmaleep
  • 03
    DiDalt I get too many dumb questions to remember them all. Here's a dumb encounter that happened just yesterday. When sending confidential documentation, we would encrypt it and put a password on it. It's common practice to send the document and the password in two separate e-mails. I got a message from this guy
    via u/DiDalt
  • 04
    saying he couldn't open the document I sent him. Me: "Did you use the password?" Client: "Yes. It said there was an error." Me: "What password did you use?" Client: "I just hit OK and it said that I had the wrong password."
    via u/DiDalt
  • 05
    Me: "Wait.. so did you type anything in?" Client: "Well no." Me: "Could you use the password that we provided you?" Client: "I didn't think it would work so I deleted the e-mail." Me: ". II ....
    via u/DiDalt
  • 06
    HouseCraven Raw Long time ago now... Got a call that a user's laptop was dead and wouldn't power on. I go and check it out. Press the button, no life. Plug it into the power, it starts charging. Press the button, it boots just fine. The user wasn't plugging the laptop into power because she "thought we had wireless".
    via u/HouseCraven Raw
  • 07
    DrBigsKimble Mildly relevant: I used to work the counter in parts at Subaru and my manager was helping a customer (a rare occurrence for him) and he turned to me and asked me "How many days do we have for a 45 day return?"
    via u/DrBigsKimble
  • 08
    konnektion Selling paint. Woman wants to paint her fence. I give her advice and explain to her how to prepare the surface. She then asks: "Do I need anything to apply the paint?" I'm like "Yeah a roller or a brush..."
    via u/konnektion
  • 09
    She's like "Oh, I can just splash the paint on the fence?" She was dead serious. Woman, this is not Looney Tunes, this is the real world!
    via u/konnektion
  • 10
    OMothman Where... I used to work as a bank teller. A lady came up to me and asked to withdraw money. I informed her that she couldn't withdraw money, because her account was overdrawn. She was immediately upset, so I had her account checked for fraud. She then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn't expecting any payments.
    via u/OMothmanWhereArtThou
  • 11
    She was spending money she knew she didn't have. She then asked me why we couldn't just give her more money.
    via u/OMothmanWhereArtThou
  • 12
    Glissando365 For my name. Not the question itself but the reason why he asked. I was volunteering as cashier at a used book store for the library—not my regular job but I do it often. In comes this older fella who buys a big stack of books for like ten bucks. He was really nice and chatty though he didn't seem completely
    via u/Glissando365
  • 13
    aware mentally. Not a big deal, I just had to explain sales tax and the book pricing a couple times before he seemed to get it. He pays by credit card and I explain to him how to sign the touchscreen for the payment to go through. This is where he asks for my name. I tell him. He takes the iPad and says he really appreciated my service and happily tells me he's going to sign my name for the card
    via u/Glissando365
  • 14
    so "they" will know to send the money to me. Before I can say "no wait," he's submitted the signature. I can't see his receipt but he keeps telling me I was great and to keep the change so I can assume he was being legit.
    via u/Glissando365
  • 15
    I honestly wouldn't call it dumb; just bizarre. Made me wonder if he's been signing cashier names the entire time he's had a credit card. Thank goodness the card companies never check those things.
    via u/Glissando365
  • 16
    jchite84 I worked at Kinkos and on 3 separate occasions different people angrily asked me why I returned their faxed document to them. They thought that a fax machine was some kind of Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient.
    via u/jchite84
  • 17
    bladeau81 Can we open the curtains to make the screen brighter? (While pointing at a projector and screen setup.) She seriously thought that more light in the room would make everything brighter as if the projection was some sort of moving painting.
    via u/bladeau81
  • 18
    PhreedomPhighter When I asked "For here or to go?" I got a confused look followed by "What would you recommend?"
    via u/PhreedomPhighter
  • 19
    kitjen I used to work in a call centre for a large bank and a customer phoned while he was in one of the branches and said the queue was too big so he wanted me to help him. I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broke so he had to withdraw cash. I asked how I
    via u/kitjen
  • 20
    could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone and he said "Why can't you just fax it to me?"
    via u/kitjen
  • 21
    MongooseOnTheL... Renovating a major hospital when the owner changes their mind (again) and wants to change the plan after we've started construction: "You guys can take care of that right, with no extra cost? Oh, and the end date won't change, will it?"
    via u/MongooseOnTheLoose
  • 22
    We sure as can't Steve, and it sure as will! Those changes are gonna cost another $100,000! And now we need to go buy completely different materials and figure out what the youre talking about. The schedule is I now This is why construction never ends on the first given end date
    via u/MongooseOnTheLoose
  • 23
    twentyfeettall Library. Once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, shocked, "You mean I have to bring the books BACK?"
    via u/twentyfeettall
  • 24
    CD1337 I used to work in computer sales and repairs. Had a customer come up who was maybe 23 years old saying she couldn't get her laptop to open something. So I take it, and open it and casually ask, "What is it you cant get open?" She looks at me shocked as I open the laptop screen and tells, "I HAVE
    via u/CD1337
  • 25
    BEEN TRYING FOR HOURS TO GET IT TO OPEN HOWD YOU DO THAT??" I look at her not knowing how to respond and close it and open it again. She takes it and walks out saying thank you. I took a long look at my computer I was working on and decided that this was the moment that made me quit that job.
    via u/CD1337
  • 26
    SirChiefGood I work at an Italian restaurant and this guy was looking at ordering a salad, and when I asked what dressing he wanted he kept going back to the pasta sauces and asking " Sugo, that would be good on it wouldn't it! I'll get that" and I tried to explain " sir, those are for the pastas, you got the Mediterranean salad"
    via u/SirChiefGood
  • 27
    and he responded "you're right; maybe carbonara( another sauce).. I don't get what he wasn't understanding. He seemed like a normal smart dude but he just couldn't comprehend the difference between the dressings and sauces
    via u/SirChiefGood
  • 28
    _Lumos I worked at a Mongolian restaurant that served white rice. A guest honestly did not know what rice was when I offered him some. I had to explain it as "those little white things". After 10 seconds of me trying to figure out if he was just messing with me, he looked. at me still confused and I just said nevermind.
    via u/_Lumos
  • 29
    grose98 Someone once asked me "why are you guys making it so difficult to find a car parking spot this time of year?!" It was Christmas time, and I was a casual working in a tiny store in a huge shopping center. I didn't even know what to say.
    via u/grose98
  • 30
    WizardsVengeance Library clerk here. Do you have a phone book for celebrity phone numbers? No, sir. No we don't.
    via u/WizardsVengeance
  • 31
    lebouefbrittany I worked at Old Navy and an elderly lady walked in and asked where the boats were. She had never been inside an Old Navy and assumed it was some sort of boating store.
    via u/lebouefbrittany
  • 32
    TrainLoaf Not a question, but someone once effectively told me they where allergic to air.
    via u/TrainLoaf
  • 33
    I used to work in an opticians where we'd carry out pressure tests (a few puffs on air onto the surface of you eye) where quite literally, the machine just blows your eye with, yup, air. The customer was ADAMANT she was allergic to it, couldn't have it done and in fact accused me of no knowing what I was talking about.
    via u/TrainLoaf
  • 34
    Definitely_Working this one was just 2 hours ago: one of my users came today with an ipad. when i asked what the problem was, she said that when she holds the power button and home button down for 10 seconds, it just shuts off and takes a minute to restart.
    via u/Definitely_Working
  • 35
    that was her whole problem - that if she holds the power - button, it turns off. she called it the button. power
    via u/Definitely_Working
  • 36
    MedusaExceptWit... I used to work at a fine jewelry kiosk in a mall. Our jewelry included items like gold bracelets and necklaces bonded with Sterling silver, Sterling silver rings with cubic zirconia gems, gold engagement rings with diamond chips clustered together rather than one large diamond, etc.
    via u/MedusaExceptWithCats
  • 37
    I had a lot of regulars, and this one woman would come in often and ask of every item she was interested in, "Is this real?" I explained what "bonded" means and how we don't sell diamond rings for $25, but that the rings were indeed certified Sterling silver with synthetic
    via u/MedusaExceptWithCats
  • 38
    gems. I gave her information like this over and over again, day after day, and she would follow up every explanation with, "Okay, but...is it real?"
    via u/MedusaExceptWithCats
  • 39
    Fir... I used to work at a grocery store deli. My coworker for some reason got more stupid questions than anyone else (we'd swap stories every shift), but one went a little like this: "Hi, what can I get you?" "The 8 piece chicken... how many pieces are in it?" "How...how many pieces are in the 8 piece chicken? Um.
    via u/Firekeeper47
  • 40
    There are eight pieces in the 8 piece chicken..." "Ok, I'll have that, please!" To be fair, the lady was awfully polite but "How many pieces are in the 8 piece chicken" is still a stupid question.
    via u/Firekeeper47
  • 41
    An edit: a few people said "Maybe she meant how many of each piece." No, she meant how many pieces are in the eight piece chicken. I said eight, packaged it up, and she went away happy.
    via u/Firekeeper47
  • 42
    devilishgenius "Do you guys sell ice here?" "No sir, Sorry about that." "Alright ya got anything LIKE ice?" "....um. What?"
    via u/devilishgenius

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