Woman's Sneaky Date Asks Her to Act Like They're Just Friends in Front of His Old Lover: ‘He just wanted to seem available to her’

Advertisement
  • 01
    He (42M) asked me (34F) to act like we're just friends in front of someone he used to see. Am I being crazy?
  • 02
    I'm female 34 and the person I'm dating is a male 42. I've been seeing this guy for the last few months and we spend a lot of time together but we haven't talked about making things exclusive. The other day he invited me
  • 03
    to come by a market where his business had a booth. As I was getting ready to go he sent me a message saying "just a heads up, there's a girl here who I was seeing for a week a while ago and she has a booth right
  • 04
    across from us. She is friends with my friends who are here so when you get here we need to play it cool. I don't want to jump up and kiss or cuddle you because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. We can still talk but we need to keep it low key.
  • 05
    To me this said he was either lying about how long ago they saw each other or the door is still open and they still see each other casually. If he only
  • 06
    saw her for "a week a while ago" she shouldn't be that upset to see him moving on. I felt like he just wanted to seem available to her.
  • 07
    I did not go. I told him it sounded awkward and that I wasn't coming to which he replied "don't be like that, it isn't even like that. I just don't want to
  • 08
    hurt anyone's feelings"... which is funny because he is showing doesn't care about mine when he's asking me to come there and act like I'm nothing to him.
  • 09
    He later mentioned that he was actually seeing her only a month or two ago which I guess makes more sense.
  • 10
    My question is, am I wrong for being upset about this and not going? He tried to act like I'm heartless for not caring about her feelings rather than trying to see where I'm coming from. I
  • 11
    know he doesn't owe me anything since we aren't in a relationship but it feels weird for him to put me in a situation where I have to sit across from someone he was recently sleeping with and act like him and I are only friends.
  • 12
    With all of the gaslighting that occurred afterwards I'm now left questioning if I'm crazy for seeing things the way I did. For the record, I didn't get mad me or pop off at him. I just told him it sounded awkward and mad other plans. Would you have felt the same or am I being silly? Any advice would be greatly appreciated
  • 13
    thunderchicken_1 6h ago • I would not be dating him after this. He didn't want you to block him with his chances with her in the future.
  • 14
    mephobiaisreal • 6h ago Good call not going and honestly, date someone else. He didn't want anyone's feelings getting hurt but has zero regard for yours. Yours are what should matter. I had a guy say this to me once. He didn't want an ex knowing we were dating. Didn't want to hurt her feelings. Bro had no issues hurting mine with that Respect yourself. You can do better.
  • 15
    Jtenka 5h ago . He's probably monkey branching and found himself in between you both. Showing people he has some commitment to you means closing the door on others. He's not willing to do that. The stuff about 'hurting feelings' is horse Because he's quite happy to hurt yours so long as he still has a chance with others.
  • 16
    Adventurous-Sand6711 • 4h ago Honestly- he is more concerned about her feelings rather than yours, which is not something I would be interested in even entertaining in a partner. If someone wants to be with me- show it. That would be it for me and I would call it a day. You two haven't been dating long and I agree with another comment- this is High school BS
  • 17
    pgsmom • 4h ago You should just break it off completely. He's showing you who he is. No need to keep wasting your time. He's obviously very immature. You deserve better.
  • 18
    Ornery_Ad_2019 • 4h ago Yeah, they have something going on. You should have gone and planted a big kiss on him and introduced yourself to everyone there as his girlfriend.
  • 19
    Winter_Apartment_376 3h ago . The only feelings he didn't want to get hurt were his own ;)) I would have gone and introduced yourself to her as someone he is dating and mention the timeline. Pretty sure you'd discover that there's a timeline overlap!
  • 20
    mpan2501 2h ago Don't second-guess yourself your insticts were correct. I think you did the right thing for yourself, now keep ur distance and find yourself a decent dude, who cares about not hurting your feelings.
  • 21
    ironingwater ⚫2h ago I hate it when men say stuff like "I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings" because he had no issue hurting your feelings! Whose feelings should take precedence in this situation? Yours or the other woman he used to see? I hope you dump him.
  • 22
    inthemix25 · 1h ago • Sounds like you handled this really well. Sounds like he wants to keep his options open.
  • 23
    BlazingDeer 4h ago • Such a Okay first of all I love that you didn't even bother with that nonsense. Ya'll are way too grown. Keep the same energy and just "dump"his turn off. 5 Reply ... Worried-Ask-1406 OP 3h ago Thank you, I'm definitely trying to see it all as a huge turn off and each of these comments have really helped me to feel validated 1 Reply ...
  • 24
    Worried-Ask-1406 OP. 3h ago I don't think it's that he's embarrassed to be seen with me, I think it's that he wanted to appear to be available so he can keep things going with this other person 15 Reply Blazing Deer 3h ago Yes. And to be bold enough to ask someone youre seeing to help you look single is trashy as 8 2 3 Reply Worried-Ask-1406 OP. 3h ago Honestly this If things were truly the way he said they were and he cared about her feelings he wouldn't keep her hanging onto false hope by tryi

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article