Father Insists on Dressing Kids in Clothes that Wife Disapproves of, Leading to a Heated Debate About the Couple’s Parenting: ‘Those poor kids…’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 27, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

If there is one thing that I am excited about when I become a mom, is to dress my kids in cute and stylish outfits. I am in no way a fashionable person, but there is something that seems so fun in dressing your own tiny baby, and I just know I'll do a good job.

That being said, if my partner will also enjoy picking out clothes for our kids, I don't see myself denying him that, even if the clothes he picks are not my favorite. This is hardly a good enough reason to create drama for the family, and I just think it's silly to get angry at each other over something like that.

The parents in this Reddit story do not mind getting into an argument over what clothes their kids should wear, and the people of Reddit did not hesitate to let them know they are both being unreasonable.

Scroll down to read the full story. After that, click here for a story of a girl who publicly confronts her boyfriend for using her credit card.

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  • 01
    AITA For Refusing To Personally Dress My Children In Outfits That My Husband Likes But I Don't?
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 02
    Throwaway Account I (32f) have two children, "Theo" (2m) and "Chloe" (0.8f) with my husband "Todd" (30m). I loathe neon colors. Absolutely cannot. It's great if other people like it but there is something about it for me
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 03
    that irks my soul. I refuse to wear it and therefore refuse to dress my children in it. Todd knows this and has given me stuff in neon whenever he wants to do a joke. Whatever, it's his money that I'm donating to Goodwill or tossing into the trash.
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 04
    I've even told him explicitly that I will never love him enough to wear it for him, which he laughs off but I'm only half joking. When Theo was born I wasn't as far as I would've liked to have been
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 05
    in my career but I got a promotion and now that I have the money I've been going a little overboard in dressing my kids up in cute outfits and taking pictures. Not to post on social media but for baby books
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 06
    and stuff. I blame my mom and grandma for this. One day while we were out as a family we came across a clothing store and I saw a cute little dress for my daughter so we went in to buy it. While there, on the clearance rack, there was
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 07
    this neon green one piece that caught my husband's eye. He showed it to me and asked if this would fit Theo. I just stared at him and told Todd to LOOK at our son and then look at what he was
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 08
    holding and he accurately determined that it was too small but then said it looked like it would fit Chloe perfectly. It does look it would but I wasn't gonna tell him. Todd asked if we could get it and I gave a quick and firm "No," but
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 09
    when he asked why I simply said that I wasn't going to dress "my daughter" in that and told him to put it back. That's what triggered the "she's my daughter too" argument. I just walked away, paid for the clothes I wanted, and went to the car.
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 10
    My husband met us there and he bought the thing. I sighed and decided to relent and Todd felt victorious. Fast forward to next week and we're getting ready to go to a family outing as I'm getting ready Todd tells me that he would
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 11
    like Chloe to wear the neon green outfit and I told him "okay." About an hour later we're at the door and I ask him where's Chloe and Todd looks at me confused. Since Todd told me he wanted her to wear the outfit I assumed he'd be the one to
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 12
    dress her in it but then he reminded me that I was the one who usually dressed the kids. I looked at him and told Todd that if I have to go back and get Chloe ready I wasn't going to her in that
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 13
    outfit and that he would also have to wash it to make sure it would never go "missing." Todd got upset and told me that I was undermining his rights as a father. I told him that he clearly didn't care if our daughter wore that
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 14
    outfit because he was unwilling to dress her himself. This led to an argument and we didn't go out. Since it wasn't my side of the family I wasn't too angry but's been a few days and Todd's still upset AITA?
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 15
    ETA: I was away but now that I'm back and keep seeing the same questions/comments I'll add some more info. At the store Todd wanted me to pay for the neon outfit, not "us," just me.
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 16
    In the 2 years that we have been parents Todd has only dress Theo 5 times. Never dresses Chloe. Todd doesn't like neon doesn't own anything neon. Wouldn't stop him if he tried.
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 17
    If my kids grow up to like neon they can wear neon, but they're gonna start doing their own laundry. I do the laundry for the kids, myself, and sometimes Todd. Todd never does anyone else's laundry.
    via u/Independent_Most883
  • 18
    OBGynKenobi2. 15 hr. ago This feels like the actual problem is way deeper than a onesie. The fact that he is trying so hard to buy and dress your children in clothing items that he knows aren't your preference and the fact that you are so upset about him buying an item of clothing for the children
    via u/OBGynKenobi2
  • 19
    that isn't to your tastes indicates to me that there are some issues between the two of you that are a lot deeper. I don't know your lives, but the degree to which you are both making this into such a large argument makes me think you
    via u/OBGynKenobi2
  • 20
    have bigger disagreements and frustrations with each other, and you've turned to other outlets like this one rather than addressing whatever else is going on.
    via u/OBGynKenobi2
  • 21
    PrettiestFrog. 15 hr. ago Sounds like the issue is the husband wants to dictate what happens but doesn't want to do any of the work to make it happen. S s to be him, I guess. I'm sure he'll enjoy it when he only sees his kids on the weekend (if he feels like it)
    via u/PrettiestFrog
  • 22
    HyrrokinAura 14 hr. ago This is a control thing, and he's escalating. He's not only deliberately antagonizing her, he's escalating to "I bought that garment and you're going to put it on her." It's not even about clothing, it's about forcing OP to obey him.
    via u/HyrrokinAura
  • 23
    crookedframe13 · 15 hr. ago Good luck Theo and Chloe. Seems like you guys are gonna need it.
    via u/crookedframe13
  • 24
    honeymooonavenues · 15 hr. ago ESH. you guys sound exhausting. The only people who don't s◆ is the poor kids you both decided to bring into this world
    via u/honeymooonavenues
  • 25
    boss_hog_69_420 - 15 hr. ago ESH. From your focus on washing the clothes and dressing the kids o predict that you have concerns about a disproportionate amount of childcare falling on you. That's likely legit but idk for sure. Being given gag gifts is generally annoying and he's pushing it which has to feel
    via u/boss_hog_69_420
  • 26
    However it's on you to call those things by their names and either find ways to have those conversations with him or let him know you're going to figure out ways to work around him. That's all basic communication stuff.
    via u/boss_hog_69_420
  • 27
    I also notice that you don't write about what your older kid wants to wear. Your youngest likely doesn't have much on the way of opinions outside of comfortable/not comfortable, but at 2 your oldest can start to have a say in the colors he likes. If he likes neon you should get him some neon because that's not a battle you need to have with him.
    via u/boss_hog_69_420
  • 28
    In a nutshell you both seem tired and snippy with one another so I advise you (and him) to find a way to deal.
    via u/boss_hog_69_420
  • 29
    RandySumb❤h. 15 hr. ago You should both stop trying to express yourself through your children. They are individuals. Don't turn them into little dancing monkeys.
    via u/RandySumb**h
  • 30
    P-55 PrettiestFrog 15 hr. ago NTA If he wants her to wear it, he can put in the work. If he's not willing to put in the work, he doesn't get a say. It's really that simple. Why it is so hard for him to dress his own kid if he wants to choose her clothes?
    via u/PrettiestFrog

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