37 Parenting Memes For Mothers Clinging to Their Last Straw of Sanity (July 21, 2024)

Advertisement
  • 01
    Me: I can't wait for the kids to go to bed, so I can finally get stuff done. Me [10 minutes after they pass out]: RAMBLIN MAMA
  • 02
    Anna M @helgagrace In my experience, adulthood is mostly piling stuff up on surfaces and then eventually having to clean off those surfaces 8:57 AM 12/24/18 Twitter for iPhone 2,346 Retweets 11.6K Likes
  • 03
    Matt Okine @mattokine When you're 20, fifteen people could turn up to your house at any moment. When you're 30 it literally takes two months of planning to see a friend.
  • 04
    Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom Follow Before I had kids, I thought I had a great immune system, but it turns out I was just really good at staying away from the type of people who sneeze directly into your eyeballs while telling you a story.
  • 05
    SpacedMom @copymama Welcome to parenthood. Every piece of trash in your house is now a makeshift toy that you are not allowed to throw out.
  • 06
    HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.
  • 07
    Me: Are you guys ready to have kids? Them: Yes Also them:
  • 08
    lower back MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME
  • 09
    Me: <trying to enforce a summer bedtime> Birds: WE ARE ALL OUTSIDE HAVING A LOUD BIRD PARTY Ice cream truck: THAT'S RIGHT KIDS, IT'S FREE ICE CREAM NIGHT! WE ARE LITERALLY JUST THROWING IT FROM THE TRUCK!!! Sun: <shines harder> ItsLike TheyKnowUs
  • 10
    I was forced to bring a snack to an event... FIND THE TOENAIL
  • 11
    When you finally have kids of your own. and you realize why your dad was always SO I off when you were younger @tank.sinatra
  • 12
    lil Han @hwelchaaa *baby screaming* Me: CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC 9/6/18, 2:51 PM
  • 13
    When you get talked into going out to hiking trails & are automatically reminded why you don't do active things.. IG @_Taxo_
  • 14
    The Dad THE DAD @thedad The collective noun for a group of toddlers is" this"
  • 15
    laura @lauratnelson My mom: wow it's so nice of Jeff to watch your kids for the next few days while you're gone Me: yes, he is very excited to continue to be a father
  • 16
    x50 x10 X3 X7 x1 X15 X10000 X5 PICK TWO THEY WILL DEFEND YOU THE REST IS COMING TO KILL YOU X4
  • 17
    LITERALLY ONLY 15 MINUTES OF FUN! I'M BORED. I NEED TO n THE DAD PUTS A BIG CIRCLE OF DEAD GRASS IN YOUR LAWN!
  • 18
    7 DAYS BEFORE PERIOD 3 DAYS BEFORE PERIOD 1 DAY BEFORE PERIOD AFTER PERIOD
  • 19
    TwinzerDad @TwinzerDad While I do subscribe to the "Happy Wife, Happy Life" philosophy there is definitely a case to be made for "Slightly Irritated Wife, Amusing Life" theory as well. #marriedlife L
  • 20
    When he scratches your for 5 minutes then asks "You like that?"
  • 21
    big tan @mineifiwildout would u rather fight 1200 silverback gorillas at once or have ur daughter grow up to b a festival girl 12:53 PM - 29 Mar 17
  • 22
    Young Alcoholics @LifeWithAlcohol Me age 17: *6 consecutive shots of vodka* what the is UP Y'ALL. LETS GO CRAAAAAZY. me age 21: *1/2 glass of red wine* what the is UP Y'ALL. I am going to BED. Do you NEED ANYTHING from me before I BRUSH MY TEETH? 1/17/18, 11:11 AM
  • 23
    How to tell if it's getting bad again: - sleeping too much or not at all - eating too much or too little - sounding disinterested in everything - being spaced out a lot - rambling a lot or not talking at all - losing track of time - making cynical comments, usually about yourself - pushing people away - tend to rubbing your eyes and head a lot - avoiding eye contact - always being shaky - avoiding certain conversations
  • 24
    When you find the mosquito that ruined your sleep all night
  • 25
    Ron Perlman @perlmutations For those who have followed me, you know I have left nothing in the locker room. I have even almost half heartedly but also almost full heartedly suggested I throw myself into the fray, digging as deeply as I could to summon hope and decency. But I didn't know What I didn't know.
  • 26
    When ur mom asks u to do the bare minimum in exchange for a lifetime of free rent and unlimited food OUNTAI ADEW This house is a prison! On planet MYTOUMEN JUNa ALDEW oistbuddha
  • 27
    When you're high af and you remember that you saved a piece of food for this exact moment
  • 28
    ommanyte: I feel that substituting sleep with caffeine is a lot like drinking unicorn blood to stay immortal. You will have but a half life, a cursed life, from the moment it touches your lips
  • 29
    ommanyte: I feel that substituting sleep with caffeine is a lot like drinking unicorn blood to stay immortal. You will have but a half life, a cursed life, from the moment it touches your lips
  • 30
    Shower Thoughts @TheWeirdWorld Cleaning up while your kids are awake is like wiping your there's still while coming out.
  • 31
    SIS @HERTweetx we only have one life. keep it simple. missing somebody - call • wanna meet up - invite • wanna be understood - explain • have questions - ask • don't like something - speak up ⚫ like something - share it ⚫ want something - ask for it ⚫ love someone - tell them 9:02 PM - 21 Nov 2017 121,008 Retweets 244,579 Likes 262 121K 245K Follow
  • 32
    "Let's get naked, cuddle, eat food and just lay in bed and watch Rick and Morty all day."
  • 33
    Ceej @ceejoyner Follow Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner. 5:29 PM 12 Jan 2015 h 177,718 13,945
  • 34
    My brother looks like he has just returned from war. But actually, he's just a father of two girls who had a party the day before. ET TO RIDE HUNGER Summer elart MY S
  • 35
    Me: *Lays in bed for 2 seconds Mom: FKAD
  • 36
    This poem reads negatively downward, but positively upward. 1575 Today was the absolute worst day ever And don't try to convince me that There's something good in every day Because, when you take a closer look, This world is a pretty evil place. Even if Some goodness does shine through once in a while Satisfaction and happiness don't last. And it's not true that It's all in the mind and heart Because True happiness can be obtained Only if one's surroundings are good It's not true that good exist
  • 37
    when the caffeine wears off but it's too late in the day for another coffee

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article