Pastor Invites Entire Congregation to Couple's Small Wedding, Over 50 Uninvited Guests Show Up and Eat All the Food Before the Wedding Party Arrives: '[The bride] was mortified'

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    r/weddingshaming • 17 hr. ago Riviera_Sunset Pastor invites whole congregation to my sister's wedding and reception
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    My sister and her husband got married 15 years ago, but I still think of it as the cringiest wedding I've attended. At the time, my sister was a college student with a minimum wage job, and while her husband was a bit older with a steady job, they planned their wedding on a tight budget. They were both very involved in
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    their small town church and planned to have the wedding ceremony in their church officiated by their pastor. The church wasn't fancy by any means but the cost of the ceremony itself was very cheap. They allocated most of their
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    wedding budget to have a reception in a hotel ballroom in a larger city that was about 30 minutes away. Due to budget constraints, they were not able to afford a full dinner, although the wedding ceremony started at 8pm. The hotel would set up a heavy appetizer buffet at
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    the reception. IIRC the menu was something like fried mozzarella cheese sticks, boneless wings, and spinach artichoke dip. They had specifically ordered food for their amount of invited guests (75 or so ETA: almost all of which
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    were the wedding party and family) and once the food was gone, that was it. The hotel would not be refilling the buffet. Apparently it was customary at this small town church to invite the entire congregation to weddings held at the church. ETA: My sister was not aware of
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    this practice as she had only been attending the church for 6 months or so before the wedding. The Sunday before the wedding, during church service, the pastor invited everyone to attend the ceremony and also mentioned the location where the reception would be
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    held. My sister was mortified but there wasn't much she could do at that point to disinvite the congregation. The pastor had not asked for their permission before making the announcement. She thought it would be fine if they chose to attend the ceremony but blindly hoped they
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    would have the good sense not to attend the reception at a fancy hotel. The day of the wedding, at least 50 "uninvited" guests showed up at the church, many dressed casually in jeans or overalls. After the ceremony, the wedding
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    party and their families stayed at the church for another hour or so to take pictures. By the time I left the church, I knew I would be arriving at the reception around 10pm. I was starving and wanted something more substantial than appetizers so my husband and I stopped
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    at a fast casual restaurant that was just about to close and grabbed some soup and sandwiches to take with us to the reception. I am so glad we did because as we arrived, the last of the "uninvited" guests were leaving the reception. It
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    became clear they had annihilated the buffet, leaving no food for the wedding party and family. Somehow my sister and BIL stayed on good terms with the pastor, but I would have been so angry with him. I only wish that I had the foresight to pick up more food. My poor elderly grandparents were starving.
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    John DeLancieAnon • 19h ago A co-worker of mine got married recently. She wanted a small wedding (we weren't invited), but the groom's parents demanded they invite the entire congregation. It's a thing, I guess. They lucked out because a more active member of the church was getting married the same day and everybody went to that wedding.
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    noonecaresat805 • 18h ago That I would have immediate gotten up and told them that it was picnic style and to get in touch with me to coordinate what to bring. And since they were bringing food no gift was required.
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    Certain Platypus9108 18h ago Why did no one have a backbone to say. No I'm not feeding all of you
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    Veronica Marsupial •18h ago My cousin and his wife both worked for a large church. Additionally, his wife is Nigerian (they do not live in Nigeria). They went and got married in another country just to avoid the expense and hassle of being expected to host their entire congregation plus a large number of the local Nigerian community for a big feast.
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    DogsandCatsWorld 1000 18h ago Congregations being allowed to attend the ceremony itself is sort of a thing, but they should dress presentably and it does not extend to the reception after. That pastor was really wrong to invite them all to that.
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    • clutzycook 18h ago Your sister has more self control than I would have. If I didn't go off on the guy immediately after the service, I definitely would have after the reception.
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    . Rainbow_alchemy • 16h ago My ex-MIL did this to me. We were having the wedding at her church so her elderly dad wouldn't have to travel. Then, she invited the entire church when we had only bought enough food for the guests we'd actually invited. Between them and the high school kids (my ex was a teacher) the family and wedding party got nothing but a slice of cake since we were taking photos when they descended on the buffet.
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    • JessicaFreakingP 15h ago This reminds me of the episode of The Office when the pastor baptizing Jim and Pam's daughter invites the entire congregation to their baptism luncheon that was just meant for friends and family.
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    Traditional_Air_9483 • 17h ago I would have raised my hand and announced to the parishioners " I'm so sorry, Father F' up misunderstood us. Everyone is welcome to the wedding service. We hope to see you all in church." Then you take Father F' up in the back and explain the situation. He needs to ask about that in advance and be prepared for a "No!" I would also tell him they cleaned out all the food intended for your family. He doesn't get a pass.

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