Woman Breaks up With Fiancé After He Asks Her to Leave His Son’s Wedding Instead of Standing up to His Demanding Family

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    AITH for breaking up with my fiancé because I was asked to leave his son's wedding
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    Not my main account posting for some perspective as I know I can't get impartial opinions from people close to me for reasons irrelevant to this post.
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    I'm 40f engaged to 49m we have been engaged for almost a year now but have been together for 7 years. The reasons why we haven't been engaged sooner is that we live in different countries we both
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    have kids from previous marriages I have one child 18f going to her second year in college and he has two kids 22f and 20m. I didn't want to uproot my daughter and take her away from her life and friends
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    and for him moving to my country meant that he won't be around his kids growing up. When I met him he was legally separated from his ex wife but the divorce was finalized three years ago. For the
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    past 7 years we have had a very strong relationship I love my fiancé and I know he loves me even more . We would visit regularly and he usually stayed for extended periods over the summer. He has been my
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    best friend for the last 7 years. Last year my daughter decided to go to college in a European country , his daughter got engaged and moved to a different state and his son while still living with him
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    proposed to his gf and planned their wedding to be this summer. Last summer we talked about finally getting together and we both decided that I will be moving
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    to his country and for me it was the leap of faith to leave everything behind and be with him somewhere where I don't know anyone or anything but he was worth it. Last summer he was
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    staying with me for 5 weeks we invited his kids for the first time to stay for 2 weeks with us. I did my best to make them feel welcome basically did nothing other than entertaining them. There were few things didn't set well with me but I
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    didn't share with my fiancé, his DIL had made some few comments she came across as controlling person and the son was a bit of a pushover but it wasn't any of my business anyway. During their visit his son and dil invited me
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    to their wedding this summer and i accepted their invite just out of courtesy tbh. Between then and now i have asked my fiancé multiple times to confirm the invitation with the
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    bride and groom and I told him that there are no reasons for them to feel obligated to invite me as I understand that it can be awkward for other family members specially the ex wife.
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    For the time of the wedding I flew to meet my fiancé, the wedding was in the bride's home state so we booked a hotel near the venue. On the day of the wedding I was so nervous about the reception
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    showing up to an event where I know no one other than my fiancés close friend. I understood that my fiancé as the father of the groom will have responsibilities that would probably keep him busy. After the ceremony we went to the reception
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    i was seated on the same table as my fiancés friend I haven't left the table as it was discussed beforehand between myself and my fiancé that any introductions to the extended family will be arranged after the wedding as a
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    separate occasion. It had started to catch my attention that my fiancé was having a conversation with his ex wife on the side then his son and dil joined the conversation for a couple of minutes before returning to their table.
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    My fiancé came to me asking to talk outside where he said that emotions are running high and people are just stressed and he thinks it's wiser if I got back to the hotel. I didn't understand at first I
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    even asked why he decided that we should leave this early and he said that his friend is driving me back and he will follow after a while and that's when I actually realized I was being asked to leave. He said that the bride thinks my presence is
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    taking a lot of attention and his ex wife who knew I was invited suddenly felt she can't handle me attending her son's wedding. I asked what did I do wrong I haven't even left the table where I was
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    seated I wasn't arguing with him wanting to stay at the wedding because at this point there was nothing that would make me go back inside I just wanted to understand. My fiancé was actually in tears at this point asking me to
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    understand the difficult situation he is in and I told him to go back inside as I was disgusted looking at him. His friend came out asked my fiancé to go back inside and he took me to the hotel where I asked him to wait in the lobby for me as I was packing my things to move to a different hotel.
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    After the wedding my fiancé called me and I agreed to meet him just to tell him that we were done and I'm going back home the next day. He was very emotional asking me to stay and to try to work things
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    out but I was so angry for being humiliated and for him not standing up for me. I did leave the next day and it was the most miserable flight I have ever taken.
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    Few days after, my fiancé was at my door. I let him in and we did talk he begged me for another chance saying he would do anything. I was still angry but I had it in me to tell him that I will think
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    about it. Next morning I sat him down and I told him that I was willing to give our relationship another chance but I have certain conditions and he immediately said he would do anything. My first condition was that he will be the
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    one moving to my country and that his son and dil will never be welcome in my home again. He can contact them and visit as much as he wants but not in my home or in presence. He told he was expecting my first condition but the
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    second one seems very cruel and he is heartbroken that I want to punish him in such way and I should be more forgiving towards the kids as they are just so young. I'm not trying to punish him I'm just refusing to have anything to do
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    with people that deliberately insulted me while I have been nothing but respectful and accommodating to them. Edit: Ok living on the other side of the hemisphere, woke up to find so many replies i tried to read as much as i can and I think to clear some details that had been mentioned a lot.
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    First of all although I'm not in a good place with my fiancé now I don't think he is that horrible person everyone is making him out to be "the support feels good though". One of things that we bonded over for all of these years is
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    our unconditional love for our kids. I was widowed when my daughter was 6 years old and she has been my number one priority ever since and that was one of the reasons he was doing most of traveling to see us.
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    I know for a fact that he was not cheating or keeping me as mistress , he was so open about our relationship even posting about us on his social media. The reason to why the divorce was delayed for
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    years even after separation was to my understanding had to do with keeping the ex wife on his medical insurance as she was having a series of surgical procedures.
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    I didn't get to meet extended family before as they didn't all live in the same state and traveling to see cousins or distant relatives wasn't a priority to us with the already limited time that we had together.
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    There was one smart observation in the replies that I have read and maybe it was an important detail to explain why I stood out in the wedding, I'm of a different ethnicity than most if not all of the
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    people that was in the wedding. The ex wife, the son and the dil are very religious and I'm not even Christian and I know they had a problem with my fiancé marrying non Christian.
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    Complete-Design5395 11 hr. ago NTA - You've been together 7 years and people are having that visceral of a reaction to you being at the wedding? That makes no sense. Are you sure he was already separated when you started your relationship?
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    Aggravating-Owl-8974 11 hr. ago Your fiancé is the AH. He did not defend you or tell his son,dil and ex that you are staying as you are there with them. If he didn't confirm the invite with the couple-that's on him. But asking you to leave? He showed you where you fall in his list of priorities.
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    WolfGang2026.10 hr. ago NTA. He invited you to the wedding but didn't stand up for you and asked you to leave. I wouldn't take him back. Also how is the second condition cruel? He could still see and have contact with his son and DIL, they just aren't allowed around you or your house.

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