Bridesmaid Drops Out of Wedding Due to Expenses Rising to $6K, Is Being Ostracized and Berated by Friend Group As a Result

 "I do not want to go into a significant amount of debt for a wedding."

Author image for Lana DeGaetano Lana DeGaetano
Advertisement

  • I think we can all agree that although the glitz and glamour of a woman's wedding can make a big difference in how you look back on your special day, the main reason we have weddings is to share our fairytale romance with the people we care about most. Whether that may be friends, family, both, or neither, what matters the most is that we have a caring support system by our side, rooting for us as we embark on the next chapter of our lives. However: it's important to consider the cost of the wedding, especially if you aren't within the financial means to front it yourself. Expecting our friends and family to dish out thousands of dollars on us, no matter how special the occasion may be, is a bit unreasonable. It's even more unreasonable when certain brides and bridesmaids start wedding drama about the fact that they simply do not have the funds to attend.

    The woman in this story, a former bridesmaid, is wondering if she made a mistake backing out of her friend's destination wedding. Before the wedding even turned into a destination wedding, the woman expressed to the Maid-of-Honor that she would not be able to attend the bachelorette party because of the large dent it would put in her finances. The woman also adds that she has been trying to stay debt-free, and had previously been in a credit hole that she finally clawed herself out of. Then, instead of the wedding staying local, it was now in Paris. For 10 days. Though that may sound like a rom-com dream come true, the 6K cost is most certainly not. The MOH says the woman can bring her significant other as a plus one so the cost can be split, but he is not allowed to attend the myriad of wedding events as they are usually open to the bridal party only. The woman is not budging, as she believes that this whole debacle should not be her fault; the MOH, bridesmaids, and bride-to-be have called her selfish among other things. Scroll to read the whole story and some comments from women having her back.

  • 01
    AITAH for agreeing to be a bridesmaid and then backing out 6mo before the wedding?
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • Advertisement
  • 02
    AITAH for agreeing to be in a wedding party & backing out 6mo before the wedding?
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 03
    I (32f) met my friend Kristen. (34f) while in college. We were very close during our college years as we were in a difficult major and spent a lot of time studying together. After we graduated, we remained in contact on occasion but were
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 04
    definitely not as close as we once were. The change in dynamic was primarily because we both moved out of state, we never had a "falling out". As it is currently, we speak once every few months to catch up.
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • Advertisement
  • 05
    Kristen got engaged Christmas 2023. She asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding in January 2024. We discussed the wedding and I was told the plan was to have a beach destination wedding important to note that - the location was an 8 hour drive from where I live. I gladly
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 06
    accepted her invitation to support her on her big day. A few weeks later her childhood friend (MOH) started a group chat regarding wedding planning. She sent a message that essentially said she had booked the bachelorette party for 3 days in
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 07
    Turks. She went on to break down the cost of rental cars, lodging, food, etc. stating to expect to pay roughly 6K for the trip. I responded and stated that I would not be able to attend due to the cost but that I cannot wait for the wedding.
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • Advertisement
  • 08
    Last week, MOH reached out to inform me that the destination of the wedding is now a 10 day event in Paris (January 2025). All of the wedding events will be occurring during these 10 days. She outlined daily events that were planned for the wedding party & a tentative schedule for
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 09
    the trip. She pointed out that I am able to have a plus one for the wedding (my significant other of 8 years would be the one to join me), but that he could not participate in wedding party. activities. I inquired about cost & was told that we would be responsible for flights, lodging,
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 10
    food & all activities (both activities with the wedding party and anything we wanted to do alone). The couple is unable to assist with any portion of the costs during the trip, as they will be paying for their activities and the space for the wedding, which does not include food or drinks (only the event space). I informed MOH that I would discuss the change of plans with my S.O. And get back to her.
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • Advertisement
  • 11
    My SO and I discussed the change in plans and we agreed that attending this event would not be in our best interest financially. We recently bought a house and are planning to start trying for a baby within the next few months. We have also been working very hard for the past few years to become debt free,
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 12
    skipping annual vacation traditions, cutting back on most things that are not essential. While I think it is fair that plus ones are not to participate in wedding party events, with the event lasting 10 days with daily events (each multiple hours) that are only for the wedding party, he
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 13
    would be alone for a significant amount of time during the trip. He has met Kristen roughly 3-5 times, but has never met anyone else that would be attending. We discussed me going alone to cut back on costs, but honestly I don't want to spend so much money on a trip that big and not even have him with me.
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • Advertisement
  • 14
    I informed the bride and MOH I would not be able to come. I have since been called selfish and been told I am a bad friend for refusing to support Kristen by passing up on her bachelorette party and her wedding (comments from our mutual friends). When I explained my
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 15
    concerns financially, I was told I should put the trips on a credit card and pay it off over time. This is a solution I am not comfortable with. I have worked very hard to get out of credit card debt, I do not want to go into a significant amount of debt for a wedding. I was also told that it is not
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 16
    Kristen's fault that I previously was in a bad financial situation, and she should not be punished by my lack of willingness to use credit cards. I asked if they would be having a celebration in the state that she lives in (we live 5 hours apart) and was told they have maxed their budget on the events already planned and have no intention of doing anything once they get back.
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • Advertisement
  • 17
    It is important to point out that I have discussed this with Kristen, and she tells me she understands. However, she is not confrontational, and has complained to me about other friends in our group while not addressing issues with them to "keep the peace". I do believe that our friends comments have at minimum been discussed with
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 18
    Kristen.... If not made by her. I don't believe she is a bad friend. I truly believe that she does not like to have confrontational discussions and was probably venting to other friends. I love that she is able to give herself her dream wedding and I would love to celebrate her, however I feel like this ask is not reasonable. So, AITAH for dropping out 6months before the wedding?
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 19
    Odd-Calligraphe... 14h ago NTA. You seem to have done everything right here. We can't all go jetting off the Paris on the credit card whenever we want to. You are prioritising your family's financial security which is exactly what you should be doing. Good for you!
    via Odd-Calligrapher9660
  • Advertisement
  • 20
    EyeRolling Now 14h ago. . Who has the nerve to call someone selfish for not being able to afford a trip?
    via EyeRollingNow
  • 21
    • Rude_Lobster_8565 OP 14h ago I thought this too.. but these are people who live above their means and are comfortable being in very large amounts of debt because "they can afford the monthly payments". They are all very flashy & enjoy appearing well off, even if it's not what's best for them in the long run.
    via Rude_Lobster_8565
  • 22
    Imaginary_Being... 14h ago NTA. A 10 day wedding? That's just insane. I have been to destination weddings and each one is set knowing some people just won't go because of time and cost. They also always include everyone in all events except maybe the
    via Imaginary_Being1949
  • Advertisement
  • 23
    rehearsal dinner. Although every one of them that I've been to have also included those attending, if small, especially significant others. Those who are mad at you for it are the bad friends. I'd drop them asap.
    via Imaginary_Being1949
  • 24
    Danixveg • 14h ago I'd put it at 100% that most of their guest list isn't going either.. and that this wedding/bachelorette party will never actually happen.
    via Danixveg
  • 25
    dncrmom 14h ago • So they maxed out their wedding budget on the bachelorette party & travel expenses, the same costs they are expecting you to bear (with the minor additional cost of a venue but no food or drinks?) F that! No one should take on debt for another's wedding. Run before you are also expected to bring a 1K wedding gift.NTA
    via dncrmom
  • Advertisement
  • 26
    Azlazee1 12h ago • Kristen is being unreasonable. Who books. events for 10 days and expects you to pay! Brides who choose destination weddings have to accept that not everyone will be able to attend. They've chosen extravagance over realistic expectations of the guests.
    via Azlazee1

Like what you see? Find more hilarious women's memes and crazy stories on our Instagram @Cheezcake_Humor and more videos on our TikTok @cheezcaked 


 

Tags

family drama aita marriage paris drama credit card wedding drama destination wedding selfish reddit story proposal family feud marriage-drama debt wedding entitled Reddit married weddings entitled people
Scroll down for the next article

Also From CheezCake

Trending Now

'You are not entitled to my bank account': 29-year-old broke sister demands older brother help her out with rent, he claims it is becoming a pattern and refuses, parents take sister's side

'You are not entitled to my bank account': 29-year-old broke sister demands older brother help her out with rent, he claims it is becoming a pattern and refuses, parents take sister's side

01
‘I just wanted something that was mine for once’: 19-year-old daughter leaves her birthday dinner after her parents make it all about her sister, displaying a pattern of favoritism that goes back years

‘I just wanted something that was mine for once’: 19-year-old daughter leaves her birthday dinner after her parents make it all about her sister, displaying a pattern of favoritism that goes back years

02
27-year-old new mom refuses to miss out on her first Mother's Day, refuses to attend husband's birthday party planned by her mother-in-law on that day: “His mom will drag me through the mud”

27-year-old new mom refuses to miss out on her first Mother's Day, refuses to attend husband's birthday party planned by her mother-in-law on that day: “His mom will drag me through the mud”

03
25 Totally Tubular Gen X Nostalgia Memes That Only True 80s Girls Will Understand (May 12, 2025)

25 Totally Tubular Gen X Nostalgia Memes That Only True 80s Girls Will Understand (May 12, 2025)

04
24-year-old artist turns guest room into painting studio, parents throw a fit when she books them a hotel instead of hosting them during a last-minute visit: "Family should be more important than your hobby"

24-year-old artist turns guest room into painting studio, parents throw a fit when she books them a hotel instead of hosting them during a last-minute visit: "Family should be more important than your hobby"

05
24 Lord of the Rings Memes for Couples on a Romantic Walk Through Middle Earth (May 12, 2025)

24 Lord of the Rings Memes for Couples on a Romantic Walk Through Middle Earth (May 12, 2025)

06
Advertisement