'[He said] our baby isn’t entitled to that money': Father-in-law gives a new mom $4,000 for birthing expenses, she's furious when she finds out her husband spent the cash on his hobbies instead

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    AITA for making my husband give our daughter the money gifted to us for her future? Me (26F) and my husband (32M) had a baby in July of 2023. We had announced a
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    little before Christmas of '22 that we were expecting and our families were ecstatic at the news. I have always wanted to be a mom, since I was a small child. My Father- In-Law was so ecstatic at the news that he gifted us $4,000
    via EmergencyGeneral4904
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    for Christmas to help with medical bills and for the baby. My Father-In-Law is a half owner of a multi state, multi million dollar business, of which my husband is slated to take over with his sister sometime next year. In our
    via EmergencyGeneral4904
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    state it is a requirement to have a social security number prior to opening a bank account, which my daughter in utero did not have. Therefore, it was agreed to enter the money in our joint account until after our daughter was born. I don't
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    monitor this joint account because it's at my husband's bank, not mine. To pay for medical costs associated with her birth, I had used my HSA, covering the full amount by myself. I also created her a bank account through my
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    bank, which my husband was supposed to be a trustee on, but failed to sign the paperwork in time, so my dad was designated instead. Today while driving home from an event, I asked about the $4K, considering our daughter is a year old, and
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    asked for permission to withdraw the funds and enter it into our daughtpers legitimate account. My husband started claiming that I already used the money for medical bills, and that I cashed it into my personal account. I told him that I did
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    not do that and showed him my account from that time period. He said that if it was in the joint account it is gone, and that he used it towards hunting land, which I didn't give the okay to drop that money towards. He then
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    called me ridiculous for even bringing it up, and that our baby isn't entitled to that money as it was for medical expenses and care of her which he barely pays anything towards. I pay 75% of daycare costs, and all of grocery bills
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    including formula/milk, and the baby is covered under my healthcare plan as his health plan is awful from his families business. We split our mortgage 50/50, but I was the one who paid for the entire down payment. The whole
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    situation was brought up when it did, as I am beginning to struggle to make ends meet, and have been unable to transfer money every paycheck to our daughter's account. I've been putting $150 away a paycheck, as I
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    want to be able to help her get a car/go to college if she so chooses. I explained this, and my husband accused me of blowing through the money again and refuses to check. I told him that I wasn't asking, I I was telling him that he needs to check and that he needed to figure out where the money went. Am I the ?
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    Thesexyone-698. 16 hr. ago Partassipant [1] So you are married to a entitled, narcissistic AH!! He doesn't pull his weight in the house financially or physically. Why are you with him? At least without him you wouldn't have extra work around a home and would get child support, sorry
    via Thesexyone-698.
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    but sometimes it's better to be a single divorced parent. He doesn't deserve you!! I would get a lawyer and make him either buy me out of the house or pay me for what he has put in with his 50 pecent of mortgage payments and send him on his way.
    via Thesexyone-698.
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    NapalmAxolotl 17 hr. ago Supreme Court Just- [109] NTA. Explain the whole situation to your FIL. That will get this solved. Your husband sounds like he's taking advantage of you very badly. Why are you contributing so much more financially?
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    alexannaprat 12 hr. ago Yep! Explain the 4K to FIL and how much more you pay for your child and living expenses in relation to the difference in earnings.
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    That'll get it sorted. Then I would consider counselling for yourself to really figure out if this is a relationship you want to stay in and raise a child in.
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    Midwest Normal · 2 hr. ago My bet is that when she explains it to FIL husband will tell a completely different story. Fortunately, OP has all the receipts showing she paid the medical expenses.
    via Midwest Normal
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    Malice_A4thot - 16 hr. ago Partassipant [1] Whoa whoa whoa. It sounds like the problem goes far deeper than the $4k. Why is your husband, the heir to a multi-million dollar business, contributing so little to the household and HIS daughter? Why is your money so separated in the first place?
    via Malice_A4thot
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    Laines_Ecossaises . 15 hr. ago Professor Emeritass [71] Sounds like the husband has been doing nothing waiting for Daddy to hand over his business. Want to bet he runs it into the ground?
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    ChellyTheKid 13 hr. ago Enthusiast [8] 100%. You don't need a crystal ball for that one. He will also blame everybody but himself when it crashes and burns.
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    happy_the_dragon · 11 hr. ago No, not nothing. He's been buying hunting land. At least as much hunting land as 4k will get him.
    via happy_the_dragon
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    MazzIsNoMore · 6 hr. ago. edited 6 hr. ago He definitely spent more than 4k. OP thinks there's money in that joint account. Surprise! There's not. I bet OP thinks husband has a large amount saved up. She's gonna get a big shock soon
    via MazzIsNoMore
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    UltraVioletEnigma⚫ 16 hr. ago NTA at all, but your husband is gaslighting you and taking advantage of you financially. It sounds like your daughter is only your daughter. It doesn't sound like he is really
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    contributing much compared to you, and spending your joint money on himself without asking you, etc. He is trying to make you think that you already spent that money instead of admitting that he took it.
    via UltraVioletEnigma
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    fleaburger 15 hr. ago NTA. Holy here there are He's lying to you, he's gaslighting you, he's using your baby's funds for his own purposes, he's being opaque about other joint funds (that may be in his account but as you are married belong to both of you).
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    Time to consider the future of your relationship - is there one? Imagine having this conversation for the next 5 years, 10 years, 20 years? You deserve better.
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