‘She’ll find a way to blame the customer before taking accountability’: Gen X employee avoids the blame when she messes up and puts it on her coworkers, gets called out

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Aug 9, 2024 7:00 AM EDT

Coworkers can be a dream or a nightmare, no in-between… 

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  • When it comes to coworkers, they can make or break you. If you get a coworker who ends up being your bestie, you can really help each other thrive in the workplace. However, if you get a nightmare coworker, then work can become just that, a nightmare. 

    In this situation, it looks like a millennial has a nightmare Gen X coworker who never gets called out for her mistakes but makes dang sure that everybody hears about other coworkers' mistakes. It sounds exhausting to work next to. Finally, the millennial coworker cracked. She had come to work after being sick for several days, her car got hit on the way to work, and she was overwhelmed. She made an itty bitty, easily fixable mistake, and the Gen X Karen coworker yelled at her about it in front of everyone. So what did the millennial coworker do? She just gave the Karen coworker a dose of her own medicine… Read the entire situation below! 

  • 01
    "My coworker makes a career out of messing [things] up."
    via Seattle Municipal Archives via flickr
  • 02
    Why is my coworker allowed to make mistakes weekly, but if I forget to do something, make a mistake, whatever...she can't wait to put me on blast? My coworker (57F) makes a career out of messing up. She's sales and I'm a licensed service rep (39F). (Property & Casualty Insurance) She's not in the data entry systems as much as I am, so if an error she made falls on my lap I just fix it and move on. It's easier than making an issue of it. Plus, she would just say something like "okay, what do you
    via Low-Attorney-959
  • 03
    me to do about it?" Or she'll take it as a personal attack no matter how carefully I approach it. So it's not worth my time or energy to try to get her to fix her own mistakes. With the exception of major mistakes. If it's going to take days, multiple phone calls, or if customers are that's going to remain her problem. I've had to put my foot down a couple times. She tried to pin some big ones on me, even tried to blame me. No ma'am. (Didn't work because records don't lie.)
    via Low-Attorney-959
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    She's even had a couple customers leave because of things she's screwed up. Which she refused to admit fault. She'll find a way to blame the customer before taking accountability in herself. She says not nice things about customers as soon as she hangs up the phone, or they walk out of the office. And not venting because they were jerks, but insults on their character. One time she talked about someone before he left, and she didn't care that he heard her. She thought he "deserved it." She refus
    via Low-Attorney-959
  • 05
    But if I make mistakes? If I forget to do something? If I gripe about a customer? She makes sure to put me on blast. She'll make sure it's known I slipped up on something. If I gripe about a customer she'll scold me "well that's not very nice." Or make some patronizing comment like "who I in your Wheaties this morning?" Okay, but didn't you just call a customer an " "I not 15 minutes ago?
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    Today someone called wanting a quote. We've been insanely busy the past week. On top of someone hit my car. Before that I was sick. As the only service rep in the office I take on nearly all the service requests, customer complaints, payments, billing issues, mortgage requests, underwriting issues, customer emails, texts, walk-ins, calls, and on and on. As soon I get a system where I can get caught up, some new task gets thrown on my desk. My focus has been split in, what feels like, fifty milli
    via Low-Attorney-959
  • 07
    which one of you is up, but I have a new opportunity on the phone." My coworker got up from the chair she was sitting in while chatting with my other coworker in her office, stomped past my desk with a rather hateful look on her face and said "my name! You need to start keeping track of this stuff! Figure something out!" Meanwhile I had already apologized and made a mental note to figure out a system. I knew it was inconvenient for all involved. I'm not above admitting it wasn't the first time I
    via Low-Attorney-959
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    But her behavior towards me over it, especially given all her messes I've had to clean up, made something in me snap. I said back "I feel like I have my head going in fifty million different directions at any given moment. So sorry that I'm only one person and I miss things sometimes." Then I quietly got up out of my chair, let my other coworker know I needed to go outside a minute, and left to take a walk and calm my nerves.
    via Low-Attorney-959
  • 09
    When I came back, coworker (one this post is about) was getting ready to leave for the day. But not before I heard her say to other coworker "did you see her storm out of here?" Well...I can hear you. And I didn't "storm" out. I calmly walked out. Other coworker said she didn't notice I left. She apparently didn't even hear me when I told her I was going outside for a minute. If I had "stormed out" I think it would have been pretty obvious. Once again, she put me on blast. Trying to make it appe
    via Low-Attorney-959
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    I'm at my wits end. It's an almost daily occurrence. If she can't find something to put me on blast or blame me for, she'll say something within earshot of me that she knows will hurt my feelings. So even if I have a flawless day, she'll find something to get at me with. Either directly or passively. I've told my boss about the way she is with me and all I've gotten back is "she's not easy to work with, I know. But you two will have to figure it out." Our
    via Low-Attorney-959
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    "figuring it out" was coworker taking it as an opportunity to drag me through the mud, but refusing to admit her own issues or apologizing in any way. We have no HR because it's a small business. I've looked for other jobs, but unless I want to go back into retail, there's not much in my line of work that also isn't toxic, just in a different way. I'm at the end of my rope...
    via Low-Attorney-959
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    BeautylsThe Beast383 • 15h ago I work with someone like this. Sink or swim. Let her sink and stop covering for her mistakes. Corporate doublespeak when they're "that was a weird thing to say out loud" 40 Reply
    via BeautyIsTheBeast383
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    BagelwithQuee cheese 12h ago. • You: "Hey, you made this little mistake." Her: "what do you want me to do about it?" You: "fix it." And then stand by her desk staring at her until she does. Hold her accountable for the little . And document all her that whwn she tries to blame you for you have a nice long log to reference. ↑ 18 Reply SO
    via BagelwithQuee*cheese
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    LouieAvalonMac · 10h ago Log it. Log it all. Every mistake she makes Don't do anything for her but call it out Tell her loud and clear it's your mistake - you're making mistakes and you're failing to do your job. I'm keeping note of everything now and I'm covering my back I won't be doing your job for you anymore Also OP you're human and I get it. But be as organised and "on it" as you possibly can
    via LouieAvalonMac
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    Don't give her ammunition if you possibly can. Dont walk out to cool down - stay there and face it The next time she tries it - you get out your list and fire it back Say to coworker are you deflecting much? Here is the long list of things you failed to do that I'm no longer putting right for you. Concentrate on doing your job - I'm logging your mistakes. Also yes. Keeping looking for a better job 11 Reply
    via LouieAvalonMac
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    desert_dame desert dame 13h ago. She's sales??? Let her sell or not. That's her job. Does being a service rep affect her sales?? Her commission? If so. That's where your boundaries lay. You figure out what if any your tasks impede sales. Those you fix. The rest is your job to do as you do to make it work. Insurance sales is a miserable job. Quotas commission etc. she's not going to be friends or nice to anyone she feels messes. up her sales. Which is the wrong path. You want to be nice to those
    via desert_dame
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    A big mistake is forgetting who is up for the next call. That will off the salesperson. That's a priority to fix that system for you. You say you have too much to do to keep everything straight. That's a management issue. What you have to do is ask management for your priorities what do they want first second last.
    via desert_dame
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    Sales bring in the money. Sales staff have strong egos and it's not their fault is s$&@ happens. It's yours. So damage control is yours to do. For you to protect yourself from her pettiness. Always remember sales are the most annoying people in the room. And boss will accept that as long as they bring in the money. Most people hate selling. So if he has someone who's comfortable with it. He'll keep that person. ↑ 3 ↓ Reply
    via desert_dame
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    Lumpy_Marsupial_1559 10h ago • Log all her mistakes, the ones you fix as well as the ones you don't (and that she tries to drop fixing it on you). Log the comments she makes to you and about you (what and who is there). Log the comments she makes about others; clients, other staff, etc., and effects like clients leaving. You have a couple of options. Log these things in a notebook, and next time she says something, dramatically flip it open and say, 'Let's talk about that, shall we? Is
    via reply Lumpy_Marsupial_1559
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    that like (example), (example), (example), (example), and (example)? There's a saying about not throwing rocks when you live in glass houses. Your whole house is glass, so put down the rocks, or I'll get out the catapult.' Or Take it to your boss (make a time for the meeting), show him and point out that it is not your job to manage your colleague, as you are not the boss, and you'd like his. assistance in managing the situation as it has become quite a toxic work environment.
    via reply Lumpy_Marsupial_1559
  • 21
    sperwak • • 3h ago Edited 3h ago right in the middle of the office, get in her face and say loudly, i fixed your mistake on the.... just like i did on your previous screwups. please pay attention to what your typing. she is forcing you submit to her. stop doing her work. tell your boss. bullies will continue until confronted with a lot more force than they are giving out. + 2 B Reply
    via sperwak

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