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Newly Engaged Woman Finds Out Her Fiancé Is Supporting His Brother’s Smear Campaign Against Her Due To A Family Vacation-Turned Marriage Proposal

The woman's brother-in-law claims she ruined their family vacation because she was proposed to. Shouldn't he be mad at his brother then?

Posted by Lana DeGaetano
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  • Family vacations with your potential in-laws can be super exciting, especially when you already get along with your partner's family exceptionally well. What can make a restful vacation with people you care about even better? Getting engaged to your partner surrounded by your newly-deemed second family! Of course, after eight years a fine young lady might be expecting a diamond on her delicate finger, but nothing beats the euphoria you feel when the promise of forever seems more and more real. Of course, you want to share it with those who weren't present for your proposal, like your friends, family, and other distant relatives. There's nothing wrong with divvying time up between excursions with your new fiancé and his family. After all, you're one step closer to being newlyweds.

    Sometimes, people are not as happy as you are in these fleeting moments. The woman in this story finds out that her brother-in-law has been talking to family members, the woman's fiancé included, about how she ruined the trip, was constantly on her phone, and dragged the fiancé away from his family. Now, to make sure I was understanding correctly, this man's brother was the one who decided to propose on his family vacation, and she simply said yes. Did he want her to say no? What's worse, is that despite the woman's fiancé's reassurance, she learns that her BIL and fiancé have agreed upon the woman's behavior this entire time. Scroll ahead to get the rest of the story, including advice from ladies who are begging this woman to hit the road before she gets married.

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  • 1
    My fiancé (28M) fed into his brother's narrative that I (30M) ruined the family vacation
    Via GayZer0
  • 2
    Last year I went on a big family vacation with my bf's family. On the trip he proposed to me after 8 years together and I said yes. We ended up spending about half the vacation doing our own thing and enjoying our engagement, and spent the other half with the family. I posted the news online and did end up spending more time than I intended just
    Via GayZer0
  • 3
    responding to people sending their congratulations for a full day of the trip and do wish that I - had known to limit that more, but was caught up with sharing the big news and still felt that the trip wasn't largely impacted negatively. It felt like everyone was happy with the trip, other than my bf's brother who seemed to suddenly act noticeably coldly towards me.
    Via GayZer0
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  • 4
    For months I can tell that the brother clearly has an issue with me, and I tell my partner but am told that I'm imagining it. They eventually grab lunch and I ask that he bring it up in order to get it cleared up, and afterwards my fiance tells me that the brother had felt a certain way about me on the vacation but that he had
    Via GayZer0
  • 5
    stood up for me and that it was all cleared up. Months later the brother is visiting town and wants to stay with us, but I had still gotten weird vibes from him. My fiance continues to tell me I'm overthinking it and that it was never really an issue. I tell my fiancé that I'd feel better if we both called and just openly
    Via GayZer0
  • 6
    discussed it and got it all cleared up. He's hesitant to call, but we do. The brother doesn't know that I'm in the call yet, and is instantly more than happy to go off on giant rants about how he 100% has a huge issue with me, and that I ruined the family vacation, and that I've showed so many red flags by keeping my
    Via GayZer0
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  • 7
    fiancé away from the family, that I was on my phone too much, and attributing very many negative traits to every little action and word I said that could possibly be seen as negative. He had very clearly been spiraling on all these thoughts for a long time. I sort of signal to my partner confused, and want him to bring up that he
    Via GayZer0
  • 8
    had dispelled all these issues months ago at the lunch. My partner says this to the brother, and the brother is just confused stating that my bf agreed 100% with everything he said before and actively added to all these narratives, and many more details
    Via GayZer0
  • 9
    come up where my fiancé had actively said really bad things about me and pretty much st- talked me. It turns out that the brother had also spent these months telling the parents all these things as well now, saying that my fiancé fully agreed with him....but luckily the parents didn't take it all very seriously.
    Via GayZer0
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  • 10
    This has led to multiple arguments of me feeling unsupported and betrayed, along with it now being an established pattern with other incidents as well where my partner actively takes other peoples' sides in making me sound bad, while never really talking well of me.
    Via GayZer0
  • 11
    This hurts when he's really the main person who even knows me and would be able to vouch for me. The arguments have somehow just fully turned into being about me being controlling about what he says to other people, and that he should be
    Via GayZer0
  • 12
    able to talk openly with family, and that he lied because he knew I wouldn't be happy with him and that my reaction is proving him right. He's saying he's fully justified in everything he did, and that I'm not being understanding.
    Via GayZer0
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  • 13
    I'm really confused, because I do believe that people should have other spaces to talk about their issues - but what's the line between that and being unsupportive? I don't mean to isolate his opinions from his family if he truly agrees. I'd love
    Via GayZer0
  • 14
    to hear thoughts on this and what should be expected. TLDR; Fiance tells me I'm overthinking it when I can tell my BIL is hostile towards me. Turns out he was 100% running a smear campaign against me for months, and that my fiancé not only knew but was actively feeding into it.
    Via GayZer0
  • 15
    Sunniskys 17h ago . It sounds like he has no spine to say what he really feels, either to his brother or to you. He just agrees with whoever he is talking to and if that is his personality he probably won't stand up for you. It's not even about you "ruining" a vacation. He could have listened to his brother, agreed with what he
    Via Sunniskys
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  • 16
    agreed with, and then come to you in an understanding way to ask that you make an effort not to alienate his family when on trips in the future but that he understands how excited you were and why it happened! Then dropped because it's really not the
    Via Sunniskys
  • 17
    massive deal his brother is making it out to be. There is a way to be compassionate, point out behavior that may be hurtful, and validate people's emotions without lying to your fiancé.
    Via Sunniskys
  • 18
    . friendlily 14h ago You really should dump this guy. He not only doesn't stick up for you, but he actively agrees with his brother in person because he's so spineless. This will not get better. You're young - you started dating when you were 20. You have a lot of time to find an equal partner who
    Via friendlily
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  • 19
    respects you and knows how to defend you and set healthy boundaries. Also, you didn't do anything wrong on vacation. A family vacation doesn't mean you can't have some couple time. Plus, your bf is the one who planned the proposal for the vacation (Which is interesting because his people were there but where
    Via friendlily
  • 20
    were yours? But that's a separate issue.) If anyone is mad he did that and it caused more distractions and for you two to go off alone more, that's your bf's fault. Not yours.
    Via friendlily
  • 21
    CakeZealousidea... 13h ago • Don't marry him. He doesn't respect you enough to have your back, even added to it, lied about sticking up you, then wants his brother to stay in your home
    Via CakeZealousideal1820
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  • 22
    Ok-Cheesecake7... 16h ago This is so odd. Your partner was the one that proposed on a family vacation, how are you to blame for that? NTA but your BIL is a huge entitled baby and sounds like your partner isn't much. better
    Via Ok-Cheesecake7622
  • 23
    gobsmacked247 • 13h ago Yeah OP, you need to walk away from this guy. However your brother perceived events, your bf did not have your back. That means, the brother has gone off about more than that one time and your bf has not had your back. He's not the one.
    Via gobsmacked247

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engagement photos family drama toxic-husband drama brother marriage proposal wife reddit story proposal family feud husband engaged in laws entitled family engagement reddit thread Reddit family vacation engagement ring vacation

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