'I had to fire someone while we were doing their new hire paperwork': 20 Workers who couldn't even make it through their first day on the job without getting fired

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Aug 16, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

Imagine doing such a poor job on your first day of work that the company asks you not to return for day two! Just imagine how hard you'd have to try to mess up in order for that to happen. Well, roughly 12,400 people didn't have to imagine, because they knew of someone who was so wrong for the gig that they were fired on day one. 

There's a lot of debate about whether or not you should lie on your resume. Apparently lots of people do, and they just hope they won't get caught by HR or their boss. But some people are comically underqualified for the gig once they lie in their initial interviews. One dude was hired for a web job, only for the boss to realize that this person was completely tech-illiterate. I think when people talk about padding their resume, they mean little white lies. If you just cannot do the job you were hired to do, you'd better fake it til you make it (if you make it past that first day at all!). Many bosses will see right through that, though, as the people below can attest to.  

After that, the boss at this bookstore forced his employees to work in the dark because he couldn't be bothered to replace a lightbulb, so the employee had a funny way of getting him back. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10389917952
    via Ant Rozetsky on Unsplash
  • 02
    Employers and managers who had to fire someone on their first day, what happened?
    via u/omart3
  • 03
    bazilbt Wasn't a manager but we had a kid who came into the shop and his first day of night shift they couldn't find him. Well they found him after a few hours. He cleaned off a shelf in the parts room and was sleeping on it.
    via u/bazilbt
  • 04
    Shodan30 I worked at a drugstore.. They hired some girl and on her first day behind the counter alone she spent 20 minutes scratching unpurchased lotto tickets and throwing
    via u/Shodan30
  • 05
    away any losers until the manager saw what she was doing on the security camera and booted her.
    via u/Shodan30
  • 06
    demonicsoap I worked at an upscale cocktail lounge as a bar tender. One day my boss hired this new guy to work behind the bar with us, it was rush and the bar was packed and we were all running around. Then this new guy comes up to the sink behind the bar, kneels down, puts
    via u/demonicsoap
  • 07
    his hair under the running faucet and then flings his head back leaving a splatter on the wall behind him, he then proceeds to smooth his hair down... at rush... in front of customers... He didn't stay long.
    via u/demonicsoap
  • 08
    Log-jammer My old manager (matron at a psychiatric secure hospital) told me of a guy who was employed as a healthcare assistant, working with people with a learning disability. Part of his role involved escorting patients into the community to help them with shopping.
    via u/Log-jammer
  • 09
    He took his first charge to a shopping centre and proceeded to spend £250 on their debit card buying electronic goods for himself...which he then brought back to the hospital and asked for them to be stored in the staff room until the end of his shift. He left with the police.
    via u/Log-jammer
  • 10
    the_mighty_moon_worm Hired a girl to fire watch, which is where you literally sit still and make sure nothing sets fire while someone welds. Easiest job in the world. How do you up? This girl gets five minutes into her first job, lays down on the
    via u/the_mighty_moon_worm
  • 11
    ground, and goes to sleep. Not like she dozed off, she rolled up her jacket as a pillow and everything. On the ground. In the dirt. In the middle of our mill.
    via u/the_mighty_moon_worm
  • 12
    zoobrix Know someone who works at a warehouse that stores and ships boxes of pharmaceuticals. There are some understandably pretty tight handling rules so nothing goes missing and everything is stored properly.
    via u/zoobrix
  • 13
    One day they had a guy start that asked if they should open the oxy to count them to make sure that there was as many in the bottle as it said there was. He asked multiple people this, was gone shortly after.
    via u/zoobrix
  • 14
    PaladenConnery IT position, supposedly had a BA in computer science with 2 years experience in relevant technical position. I didn't interview him.
    via u/PaladenConnery
  • 15
    We very quickly discovered that his computer abilities were non existent, started asking questions until he broke down and said he lied on his resume because he wanted to make more money. His previous job was drywall installation.
    via u/PaladenConnery
  • 16
    We gave him a list of software he needed, available via a URL. He didn't know what to do with a URL or what a URL was and then it quickly unravelled. It was about 3 hours because the first 2 were paperwork.
    via u/PaladenConnery
  • 17
    12np I work for a company that takes care of the HR needs of other small companies in my area. New hires often come in to fill out paperwork. We had this guy who came in, filled out his name and social security number, gave it to us, then
    via u/12np
  • 18
    proceeded to steal the front desk guy's wallet and keys. Right in front of the very visible security camera. Turns out the police knew the guy as we was a repeat offender. He lived right around the corner.
    via u/12np
  • 19
    [deleted] I had to fire someone while we were doing their new hire paperwork. The store manager interviewed him, then sent him to me (ops manager) to do their papers. This kid starts majorly trash talking the store manager, other employees,
    via u/[deleted]
  • 20
    asking if any "Fine work at the door... He then goes on to say, "mannn are you seriously having me fill out all this paperwork? You're about as retarded as the store manager!" I said, "well lets hold off on the paperwork then! I think we are
    via u/[deleted]
  • 21
    going to go in a different direction with you, as you obviously are too professional for our business" It took him a second, but he then started acting like Eminem and talked the whole way out. See ya
    via u/[deleted]
  • 22
    Icarus638 I didn't fire this guy personally but I did one better, I arrested him. I'm a police officer in the UK, I was forced to help on a recruitment event in our headquarters where applicants turned up, listened to a talk and did a few exams.
    via u/Icarus638
  • 23
    Almost all wore suits or shirts and ties, except one... One was wearing a black polo shirt, black combat trousers and tactical boots, wierd and a bad impression but whatever. Whilst they do the exam I went into the yard for a smoke, all the applicants had to park in a certain area,
    via u/Icarus638
  • 24
    which was just by the smoking shelter. One car stood out, it looked just like our unmarked cars, exactly like our unmarkeds. I was a little confused so I had a closer look at it. It had radiator lights and on the back seat was a police issue stab vest. I thought that it must be one of our cars parked in the wrong
    via u/Icarus638
  • 25
    place, it happens. After the exam they left, I watched them leave and lo and behold polo shirt man gets in the "unmarked car". Immediately I jump in a real unmarked and take off after him. I found him 2 streets away putting blue lights on and driving through a red light. I overtook him, put my lights on
    via u/Icarus638
  • 26
    and blocked him. He gets out waving a fake warrant card telling me he was en route to an emergency. Arrested for impersonating a police officer. He was also suspected of doing the same in about 3 other forces.
    via u/Icarus638
  • 27
    [deleted] Did a Tarzan swing on a overhead hoist remote cable going some 20 feet before the cable tore out. It only took maintenance 20 minutes to fix, but he was gone by then.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 28
    [deleted] I got to fire my co- managers sister who called 5 minutes before her first shift and said she'd be there in an hour because she just sat down to dinner with friends. What do you mean you just sat down for dinner? Your first shift is in 5
    via u/[deleted]
  • 29
    minutes? Yeah I know. But we were out and decided to go for dinner. I'll still be there, just a little late. An hour isn't a 'little' late. Be here in 5 minutes or don't bother coming in at all. But <co-manager> is my sister! she
    via u/[deleted]
  • 30
    gave me the job! Yes she did. See you in 5, or not at all But <co-manager> is my sister!
    via u/[deleted]
  • 31
    [deleted] I hired someone to write about cars for a website I was editing. Saw some of their work, they seemed eager and well- educated. I thought it would be a good fit. The very first piece of copy he turned in on his very first day...was a plagiarized copy of
    via u/[deleted]
  • 32
    something I had written two years prior. I just sent him a link to my original piece that he plagiarized, and never heard from him again.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 33
    walrusdoom Not first day but close. We have a very competitive college intern program where I work. So, young guy comes in and proceeds to sleep - and I mean head back, mouth agape for half the - day. I work in an open office, but he was in a weird corner where you couldn't really see
    via u/walrusdoom
  • 34
    him unless you were looking specifically at his area. So, those of us around him were stunned and not sure what to do. Day two, he does the same. Day three, same thing, only this time a high-level manager came by to chat with me. He literally stopped mid- sentence when he glanced over and saw
    via u/walrusdoom
  • 35
    Sleepy. "Seriously?" was all he said. He apologized and said he had to have a talk with HR. Dude was gone within 20 minutes.
    via u/walrusdoom
  • 36
    Atomicspunks The job hours were from 8am to 4:30pm, Monday through Friday. Our new hire showed up about 10 minutes late on the first day. Normally 10 minutes late isn't that big a deal to me, but it was his first day, and I had pulled 3 other staff members into our 8am meeting so we could
    via u/Atomicspunks
  • 37
    discuss the training schedule with our new hire. So we are already in our meeting when the new guy walks in. He doesn't apologize for being late - he just sits down as I'm going over the training schedule for the week. After a few minutes of listening to us discuss what he's going to be
    via u/Atomicspunks
  • 38
    doing for the rest of this week, he raises his hand and says, "Can we reschedule the afternoon sessions planned for today and tomorrow? I have to leave at 11 today and 12:30 tomorrow." This was the first time I was hearing about these plans. I asked the 3 staff supervisors to give me
    via u/Atomicspunks
  • 39
    an opportunity to speak with the new guy alone for a few minutes. They leave the room, so I start talking to the guy about how he can't just change his schedule without running it by management first. As I'm talking to this guy, he gets a text. He looks down at his phone and puts his hand up, as if
    via u/Atomicspunks
  • 40
    he were telling me, "I'll be with you right after I finish reading this text". As soon as he finished reading the text and looked back at me, I said, "This isn't going to work. Please make sure you take everything you brought with you and do not return. I'll have
    via u/Atomicspunks
  • 41
    HR email you your separation papers." He seemed pretty shocked and asked what he did wrong so I told him. He tried to explain himself, but I told him that it's best if he finds somewhere else to work.
    via u/Atomicspunks
  • 42
    [deleted] I'm not a manager, but I had a potential co- worker who called in sick. I guess he didn't know that the manager didn't have to work through the evening and bumped into him at the movies. My boss told us this as he fired him the next day.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 43
    FightTheWindmills Work at a used record store. While giving the guy the tour he mentions how we underbelly our LPS and let's us know he's just going to use his employee discount to re sell all the good stuff that comes in in our eBay Store. He lasted about an hour.
    via u/FightTheWindmills
  • 44
    LHugs I worked at a popular teen/college kid clothing store. I wasn't the manager, but I trained new hires. This one girl shopped at the store a lot and we were excited to hire her. She was let go because she was late, was caught trying on clothes instead of
    via u/LHugs
  • 45
    greeting, and apparently laughed when anyone asked for a size larger than a medium. Her family showed up at the end of her shift, and tried to buy $2k-$3k worth of clothes with her employee discount. Corporate policy so they got a good
    via u/LHugs
  • 46
    portion of it. Her mom tried to bring it all back. years later (completely worn/destroyed) and threw a fit saying she should get full price because the girl had died. Guess who we could all see sitting in her mom's car?
    via u/LHugs
  • 47
    Ryinth I saw someone fired on their second day, they were hired as an admin/document controller...they were functionally computer illiterate. It took them half an hour to copy a file to a flash drive. Half an hour.
    via u/Ryinth
  • 48
    nerdening Not first day, but I had to fire a delivery driver because she couldn't drive. Had a license, just couldn't drive a vehicle safely to save her life. Scared one of my other drivers, another manager, and finally was recommended to me that I do a ride-along to ensure they weren't
    via u/nerdening
  • 49
    out of their minds. Nope, she was a horrible driver. 2 lane road, spent most of the time with wheels over the fog line because she was afraid of cars coming her way Needless to say, I now ask prospective delivery drivers if they can drive well.
    via u/nerdening

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