'I'm moving out': Parents adopt daughter's high school bully behind her back, leading to the 16-year-old cutting off contact with entire family

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 22, 2024 7:00 AM EDT

Fostering or adopting kids in need of a home is one of the most honorable things a family can do. If every family could open up their home for one kid, the world would definitely be a better place. 

But even if a family does adopt a child, it only means the hard work has just begun. Even if it seems like the hard part, the adoption part is just the beginning, as now the family has to work together to make sure their new addition feels comfortable and happy in their new home, while also making sure the rest of the family is also comfortable with the changes.

The parents in this Reddit story did not think about the real hardship of adopting a child, and they just assumed everything would work itself out when they decided to adopt their daughter's bully. It's hard to guess what they were thinking when they made the decision to open up their home to the one person their daughter hated the most, but they probably didn't expect their daughter to move out and cut off all contact with the family as a result.

Scroll down to read the full story. After that, click here for a story of an employee who stood up to their manager after they refused their time off.

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  • 01
    "You chose her over me"
    via Canva
  • 02
    AITA for telling my parents they became liars the second they started fostering their adopted daughter?
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 03
    My parents started fostering when I (19f) was 6. My younger brother was 3 at the time. I never had a problem with it. It was normal and I got along with a lot of the foster siblings who came to live with us. This then changed with Amy.
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 04
    I met Amy in second grade. She was new to my class and we just did not get along. I remember other kids saying she was mad at me and I had no idea why. We only knew each other for a few
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 05
    days at that point. I remember thinking if she was mad at me for nothing then I was mad at her. We clashed a lot. Then in third grade she started bullying me. She'd throw my lunch on the
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 06
    floor and step on it, she'd make up lies about me to get other kids to make fun of me, she told the teacher she wouldn't sit/work with "freaky eye", I have a scar across my left eye. She'd
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 07
    also say I was evil like Scar from The Lion King. The scar gave her plenty of ammunition and eventually I became very self- conscious of this. My parents knew about the bullying and they
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 08
    were called in to speak to teachers and the principal over the bullying. Turns out Amy was a foster kid. Guess who decided to take her in? My parents. We were 10. My
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 09
    parents decided to adopt her. My parents were asked how I felt about it by a lot of people. They lied and said I was good with it and I was excited to help Amy and get along with her better. It
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 10
    was a lie. I screamed the house down when I found out and begged my parents not to. My brother didn't like Amy either. She had used him against me so many times at school and he
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 11
    knew about it. My parents blamed me for my brother and Amy not getting closer. When I was 15 we had this really big fight. My parents told me Amy was as much my sibling as my
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 12
    brother was and they weren't happy that I didn't acknowledge her as such. I told them I never would. That they could adopt her 100 times and I still wouldn't call her my sister. I told them they
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 13
    chose helping her over protecting me. I told them I wish she had stayed in foster care forever and that nobody had ever loved her, because she was a bully and I was tired of being her target. I told
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 14
    them she had won though. She had them and I would never see them the same way again. A year later Amy and I got into a fight and I was allowed to go and live with my grandparents. My
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 15
    parents tried to keep in touch with me but I made no effort. And eventually I started telling people my parents had lied about me wanting them to foster and adopt Amy. People treat my
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 16
    parents differently as a result and they confronted me about this a three weeks ago. They showed up at my grandparents and said we needed to talk. They mentioned me calling them liars and I said
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 17
    they were and they became liars the second they started fostering Amy. My parents told me I had such a selfish outlook of the situation. I told them they chose Amy. So I didn't owe them or her a selfless outlook. AITA?
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 18
    LonelyOwl68 20h ago Aficionado [16]. ΝΤΑ This seems to be the evening for people to wonder if they are the AHs because their parents failed to protect them from step-siblings or other types of blended families that didn't work out well.
    via u/LonelyOwl68
  • 19
    Your parents did you a grave disservice when they chose to adopt Amy over your protests, and then lied about it to cover up the fact that you hadn't wanted her in your family because she bullied you. That just stinks. Your outlook on this isn't selfish, it's self- defense.
    via u/LonelyOwl68
  • 20
    The only thing you owe is to yourself, to make yourself a life you will enjoy and thrive in. I'm glad you got out of the situation as soon as you could. You don't owe your parents anything, including your own lies to make them look better for having lied themselves.
    via u/LonelyOwl68
  • 21
    Taleof2poes 20h ago NTA, you're right they prioritized Amy and they lied about your feelings on the matter. They probably saw her as someone who just needed love when they came to your school but adoption is a very long process and they had years to figure out they were wrong.
    via u/Taleof2poes
  • 22
    abba-zabba88 • 19h ago ΝΤΑ They chose themselves and Amy over your mental health and well being.
    via u/abba-zabba88
  • 23
    Side note: There must be something about Amy they're not telling you, why adopt her? I feel for you OP. You didn't do anything wrong. Good luck!
    via u/abba-zabba88
  • 24
    CauliflowerFit5522 OP 19h ago They said they didn't want her to be forever a foster kid and that she deserved a family. It was another time where I felt like they didn't care about what that did to me, as long as Amy got her happy ending.
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 25
    CauliflowerFit5522 OP 19h ago I didn't even need to explain the bullying to them. They had known about it since Amy caused such a huge disruption in class by mocking my scar and making me cry. My teacher called them after that and spoke to them about the incident and when they talked to me I told them it was Amy.
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 26
    nick4424 20h ago Where does your brother live?
    via u/nick4424
  • 27
    CauliflowerFit5522 OP 19h ago He still lives with my parents.
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522
  • 28
    Last Friend_6350 • 19h ago Was it the 'we can change her' ..? Someone else can change your daughter's bully - protect your own child first.
    via u/Last_Friend_6350
  • 29
    CauliflowerFit5522 OP 18h ago They never said that to me. But they did say it to others.
    via u/CauliflowerFit5522

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family drama aita bully adoption drama kids foster reddit story parenting dad family moving daughter Reddit mom parents children
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