Woman Bans Parents from Babysitting Her Child After They Keep Canceling on Her Last Minute, They Claim She Is Unfair and Demand a Second Chance

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 1, 2025 6:00 PM EST

When a couple starts to consider having children, one thing that everyone around them always asks them is where they plan on living when the baby comes. So every couple probably considered moving closer to their parents, because everyone keeps telling them just how 'great it is to have someone there to help when you need it'.

Being close to your parents when you have a baby is usually a source of great help, that is true, but a lot of couples still find the idea of living closer to their parents (and in-laws, for that matter), pretty alarming. Mostly because what they might expect to be a 'great help' ends up amounting to nothing, and they then find themselves working even harder than they did before.

The woman in this Reddit story (OP, original poster) thought her parents would at least help her with babysitting once in a while. However, she keeps finding herself with no childcare arrangement because her mother keeps canceling last minute. This situation has gotten to a point where OP told her mother she needs to get herself together, otherwise, OP will have to find someone else to watch her grandchild. 

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  • 01
    Now my mom keeps calling the night before due to have my 18 month old saying she's feeling unwell and doesnt feel up to having her, however she seems completely fine according to sister who still lives at home. Shes done this for the last 5 weeks.
    via vanitjan
  • 02
    AITA for giving my parents an ultimatum over childcare?
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 03
    So i have a 18 month old child, when i went back to work my parents and inlaws agreed to help out with childcare and so a schedule was agreed with all involved
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 04
    parties that fit around theire jobs/lifestlye. Now my mom keeps calling the night before due to have my 18 month old saying she's feeling unwell and doesnt feel up to having
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 05
    her, however she seems completely fine according to sister who still lives at home. Shes done this for the last 5 weeks. Ive managed to scrabble together alternative arrangements. Unfortunately
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 06
    as it is my busy period at work i am unable to take time off as is my partner. I finally cracked this week and said to her we cant keep having this every week if your not up to it you need to tell me so i can
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 07
    make other permanent arrangements. 18month old is starting nursery once a week soon and can try and get them in on her other day. I'm now being yelled at saying I'm being unfair to my mom.
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 08
    Am i the a hle for pointing out the truth and giving her an ultimatum or should i have just let her carry on?
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 09
    seaclifftonne Part ipant [1] 1d ago • Edited 1d ago NTA. You're not insisting she have her but encouraging her to be transparent so you can make other arrangement. It's inconvenient for her to back out at short notice when you have work. She's done this for over a month.
    via seaclifftonne
  • 10
    You should make other arrangements. If she asks why, explain that's she's been unreliable the last few weeks and you needed a more long term solution. Tell her if she feels she can commit to childcare then you're happy to
    via seaclifftonne
  • 11
    go ahead but otherwise you'll be moving forward with the alternative. There's nothing wrong with her not being willing to help. Your pregnancy wasn't contingent on her care I'm assuming, she just needs to be upfront.
    via seaclifftonne
  • 12
    NegotiationOk... OP 1d ago • Its up to her if she has him or not, when making intial arrangements before returning to work mom was insisting she had her everyday, i pointed out that she has 2 families and she needs to spend time with the
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 13
    inlaws too as they wanted a day or so with her aswell. So im struggling to understand how she's gone from arguing with my inlaws over having her all the time to now flaking.(she was full on arguing with them
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 14
    at one point over it, even making nasty comments about SIL every time she was mentioned) I dont mind if she has her or not just need to know so can make permanent plans.
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 15
    anglflw 20h ago A hole Aficionado [11] I think you and your husband need to work out your own childcare like adults. YTA
    via anglflw
  • 16
    NegotiationOk... OP• 20h ago I'm happy to make other permanent arrangements ie nursery but she telling me no dont send him to nursery an extra day i want. Then decides the day before that she doesn't want him
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 17
    Particular-Try5584 1d ago • Supreme Court Just-[101] What's the ultimatum? What have you threatened? Loss of access to you all? Loss of relationship with your child? If you have threatened that then you would be the AH.
    via Particular-Try5584
  • 18
    Or do you mean you cracked the sand said "This isn't working out, pony up and do what you promised or I will find alternative care" and left it at that? Because that's not an ultimatum. This is NTA land, this is frustrated parent land (and rightly so)
    via Particular-Try5584
  • 19
    My vote (in case people havne't realised) is NTA, because I am going to assume you haven't threatened the near option of no contact.
    via Particular-Try5584
  • 20
    NegotiationOk... OP 16h ago • Maybe ultimatum was the wrong word to use, but yes i told her she needs to let me know of looking after her is a problem so i cam get her into nursery an extra day (really not
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 21
    a problem). They are more than welcome to see her whenever they like as long as we're not busy, obviously. She also has a tendency to expect us to re- arrange pre made plans (we're talking weeks in advance) with
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 22
    other friends/family just so my dad can see her as he misses out cus hes at work. We live in the next town over 30minute drive maximum away, they never make the journey always expect us too
    via NegotiationOk2414
  • 23
    ChickenScratchCoffee •1d ago • Part ipant... Top 1% Comme... She clearly doesn't want to spend her time watching your kid. Find a daycare.
    via ChickenScratchCoffee
  • 24
    Chojen ⚫1d ago • If she's cancelled every week for 5 weeks without a valid explanation personally I'd just take her out of rotation. She's unreliable and as she just demonstrated will cause drama. You don't need that right now.
    via Chojen
  • 25
    RocknRight 1d ago A h le Enthusiast [6] NTA. It is lovely that your parents offered to help; and it would be a massive help, if they were reliable. The realty is, you do need reliability as you do have work commitments.
    via RocknRight
  • 26
    Big Owl12201d ago • Part ipant [1]. NTA- I had family do this when my child was young, and I got fed up and put her in daycare. Stability w childcare is so, so important, and you don't have time to be rearranging everything all the time, for something preventable.
    via Big_Owl1220
  • 27
    StatisticianPlus7834 1d ago NTA. Go on and get the kid into a nursery. It's gonna be better for everyone. They can see you all during weekends and holidays.
    via StatisticianPlus7834

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childcare aita baby babysitter married with children cancelled mother work reddit story babysitting grandparents daughter Reddit parents children
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