Husband Insists That His Female Friend Sleep Over When Wife is Out of Town, She Puts Her Foot Down

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 31, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. In any relationship, it's important to respect each other's feelings. If one partner is deeply uncomfortable with something, even if you don't see the harm in it, it's crucial to do everything in your power to try and understand their perspective and do what will make them feel comfortable. This is especially true when it comes to other people, and your partner's relationships to other people. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. It's a story of a married couple, in which the husband has a female best friend. The wife in the story has no problem with their friendship, and even the fact that the female friend sleeps over. But what she does have a problem with is having the female friend sleep over when she's out of town. This is something anyone can relate to. It's more than just trusting your partner; letting a situation come to this is uncomfortable for anyone. To be honest, she's an adult and can get a hotel somewhere. But read the full story to see the husband's reaction. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 13 hr. ago Own-Television8792 AITA for refusing to let my husband's female "best friend" stay over at our house when I'm not home?
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 02
    My husband (34M) and I (32F) have been married for five years, and overall, we have a strong relationship. However, there's one ongoing issue that's been causing some tension between us: his friendship with his best friend, Kate (33F). They've been friends since college, long before we met,
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 03
    and I've always known about their close bond.
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 04
    I've tried to be understanding and supportive of their friendship because I trust my husband and believe that men and women can be just friends. But lately, I've started to feel uneasy about certain things, particularly when it comes to Kate staying over at our house.
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 05
    Kate lives out of town, so when she visits, she usually stays with us. In the past, I was okay with it because it was always when I was around, and it felt like a normal friend visit. But recently, I've had to travel more for work, and Kate's visits have coincided with my trips. My husband doesn't see
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 06
    a problem with her staying over while I'm gone, but it makes me uncomfortable.
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 07
    The last time this happened, I told my husband that I wasn't okay with Kate staying over when I wasn't home. I tried to explain that it's not about not trusting him, but more about feeling uneasy with the idea of another woman staying in our home while
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 08
    I'm away. He got upset and said I was being unreasonable and insecure, pointing out that Kate is like a sister to him and that there's nothing going on between them.
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 09
    He also mentioned that if the roles were reversed and one of my male friends needed a place to stay, he wouldn't have a problem with it, so he doesn't understand why I'm making this an issue. I told him that it's different, but I struggled to
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 10
    articulate why exactly it feels that way.
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 11
    Now, he's mad at me for "ruining" his friendship with Kate and making things awkward. Kate, for her part, has been respectful and hasn't stayed over since our argument, but I can tell my husband is still upset about it.
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 12
    AITA for refusing to let his female friend stay over when I'm not home? Am I being unreasonable, or are my concerns valid?
    via u/Own-Television8792
  • 13
    RentFew8787 12h ago • Has anyone here ever heard of the concepts of " above reproach" or "avoiding the appearance of impropriety"?
    via u/RentFew8787
  • 14
    Vegetable Busines... • 13h ago Tell him you changed your mind, sorry just a glitch. Love you, see you when I get back. Then turn aaaall the cameras on
    via u/Vegetable Busines
  • 15
    Fun_Concentrate_... • 13h ago My best friend is also a woman. We make it a priority to make my wife as comfortable as possible. I would never dream to have her stay over if my wife was out of town. That is just
    via u/Fun_Concentrate_
  • 16
    out of town. That is just disrespectful imo. And your husband saying he would be fine with it if the roles were reversed? Total bs. It's the first thing everyone says when trying to get their own way.
    via u/Fun_Concentrate_
  • 17
    Gloomylce8520 • 12h ago But recently, I've had to travel more for work, and Kate's visits have coincided with my trips. Seems suspicious.
    via u/Gloomylce8520
  • 18
    Now, he's mad at me for “ruining" his friendship with Kate and making things awkward. Does he care that he's going. to ruin his relationship with YOU? He's the one making
    via u/Gloomylce8520
  • 19
    YOU? He's the one making things awkward.
    via u/Gloomylce8520
  • 20
    • p... 12h ago • Edited 7h ago Nta. Her visits suddenly coincide with your absence. That's not a coincidence. It's exactly what it looks like. Planned. By your husband. Because he's the one who knows when your going away.
    via u/p
  • 21
    You're never under any obligation to host a friend for any kind of stay in your home. She's not family. Visiting and staying over are two seperate things.
    via u/p
  • 22
    You are not "ruining his friendship with Kate". There's nothing that messes up thier friendship in any way, shape, or form. Why would her staying in her own hotel or other accommodations "ruin " and innocent friendship? What's
    via u/p
  • 23
    ruined is his opportunity. And it shows. It's not normal to host female friends when your wife is away. He absolutely would not be okay with it if the roles were reversed. He'd lose it.
    via u/p
  • 24
    I'd start installing hidden cameras and making sure. The biggest issue is why is your husband more concerned about his friendship with Kate over his wife's feelings.
    via u/p

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