Woman Refuses to Lend Money to Friend Again, Friend Group Criticizes Her Despite Not Helping Either: 'Don't be generous with my money'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 17, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Welcome, ladies from across the web. Funny how some people have a tendency to be generous with other peoples time, money, and emotions but not their own. There are plenty of people that would criticize a friend for not helping another friend move from apartment to apartment, all while giving their own excuses for not lending a hand. Many people emotionally unload on others on a regular basis, yet seem to peace out when it is their turn to listen to someone else's troubles. Some people guard their money like dragons on a mound of gold yet are quick to judge those who do not donate. 

Our protagonist in today's story had such hypocritical friends. After not being paid back for her previous loan, our protagonist put her foot down when this same friend came asking for more funding. Despite her reasonable approach and previous generosity, their friend group heavily criticized our protagonist for being 'greedy,' all while refusing to lend a dime themselves. Read the full story below. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH u/Lazy-Magician-4326 15h AITA for Refusing to Lend My Friend Money After She Never Paid Me Back?
    via u/Lazy-Magician-4326
  • 02
    So I (29F) have this friend, "Lisa" (28F), who's always been kinda bad with money. We've been close since college, so when she asked for a couple small loans over the years ($20 here, $50 there), I didn't think much of it. But about six months ago, she had this huge issue with her car breaking down, and then she couldn't pay rent. She asked if I could lend her $500 to cover everything, and since she was really desperate and my friend, I helped her out.
    via u/Lazy-Magician-4326
  • 03
    She promised she'd pay me back as soon as she could. I didn't pressure her or anything, but fast forward to now and guess what? Still not a dime back. I've reminded her a couple times casually, and each time she's like "Oh, I'm just so broke this month, next month for sure," or "I'll get you when I get paid." But like... it's been six months. So, at this point, I just let it go and figured I'm never seeing that $500 again.
    via u/Lazy-Magician-4326
  • 04
    Then, out of nowhere last week, she asks if she can borrow another $300 because her phone broke and she needs a new one. I straight up told her I wasn't comfortable lending her more money, especially since she hadn't paid me back from the last time.
    via u/Lazy-Magician-4326
  • 05
    She got super defensive and was like, "I thought we were friends? Why are you acting like this? I'm obviously going to pay you back, I just need more time." I wasn't rude or anything, but I told her no. I've helped her enough and I don't wanna be stuck chasing her for more money. That's when she totally lost it. She said I was being selfish, and that I was using the money to make her feel bad and act like I'm "better than her." She even said I should "trust" her since she's my friend and it's no
    via u/Lazy-Magician-4326
  • 06
    Now, some of our mutual friends are saying I should have just given her the $300 because she's going through a rough patch. They think I'm overreacting about the $500 and that if I really trusted her as a friend, I wouldn't make it a big deal. But like, I've already helped her and she's shown zero effort to pay me back. It's not even the money at this point, it's about being taken advantage of. So, AITA for refusing to loan her more money? Or am I being too harsh about it? ۵ 2,841 1,031
    via u/Lazy-Magician-4326
  • 07
    BoopityGoopity • 15h I mean, if they think you're overreacting, they can just give her the $300. And pay you back for the $500. NTA Reply 14.6k
    via u/BoopityGoopity
  • 08
    Lazy-Magician-4326 OP 15h Thanks I like your point of view on that one! Appreciate it ... 1.5k
    via u/Lazy-Magician-4326
  • 09
    hiimlauralee • 15h . Amazing how others are so generous with YOUR money. Don't lend - and if anyone has something to say about it, tell them your policy is "lend, get paid back, lend, get paid back - not lend, lend, lend". P.S. "No" is a complete sentence. Edited And NTA ← 1.1k
    via u/hiimlauralee
  • 10
    chocolate_midgard • 13h Exactly! Funny how everyone's generous with your money until it's their turn. 229
    via u/chocolate_midgard
  • 11
    EffortOne9089 • 11h True! Here are what i learned, maybe will help you OP: Never lend money you can't afford to lose, and don't sacrifice your well-being for someone else's comfort. If someone doesn't repay a loan and asks for more, simply let them know the "ATM is out of order." Anyone in your circle who disagrees with this rule is welcome to finance the loan themselves, and if they refuse to, they should keep their opinions to themselves. 148
    via u/EffortOne9089
  • 12
    PeriodicAnxiety • 15h seems to me those mutual friends should just lend her the money. NTA. Reply 720
    via u/PeriodicAnxiety
  • 13
    Lazy-Magician-4326 OP 15h I agree on that one! 204
    via u/Lazy-Magician-4326
  • 14
    Zara Baz 6h Send them this message: "You're right, she needs the money. I'll let Lisa know you're willing to help her out." ... 71
    via u/ZaraBaz
  • 15
    leavesmeplease • 13h yeah, it's interesting how people turn generous when it comes to others' finances. if they feel so strongly about her situation, they can definitely pitch in. but honestly, letting go of that friend seems like a good move; you shouldn't have to deal with someone who views you as a bank.
    via u/leavesmeplease
  • 16
    Beerded-1 15h Interesting that none of those friends on her side are chipping in on her new phone. NTA and you need better friends Reply 416
    via u/Beerded-1
  • 17
    Sexy_Thang220 • 15h NTA. Friendship isn't a free ATM, last I checked. ← ☑ Reply 171
    via u/Sexy_Thang220
  • 18
    Someone_RandomName • 15h She will never pay you back. NTA ... Reply û 171 ♡
    via u/Someone_RandomName
  • 19
    Lazy-Magician-4326 OP 15h That's what I'm worried about tbh! 58
    via u/Lazy-Magician-4326
  • 20
    Someone RandomName 15h • I've had a few people in my life like this. One thought it was a fun game to see how much money he could get out of people. The other was just incredibly irresponsible with money. I finally realized I was enabling them by not letting them fail and solve their own problems. ... ← Ŷ 51
    via u/Someone_RandomName
  • 21
    NTA trustbrown • 15h If your mutual friends want to lend money, let them. You are in the hole $500. Taking it to $800 makes no sense. I love it when 'friends' say stupid won't step up. OP maybe time to find real friends like this but Reply 75
    via u/trustbrown
  • 22
    Wheresmyrum1 • 15h Agreed. Real friends wouldn't pressure you into loaning the money. ... ← ☆ 14 ♡
    via u/Wheresmyrum
  • 23
    Mint Julep Testosteron • 15h that if I really trusted her as a friend, I wouldn't make it a big deal. Tell them you realized you can't trust her because she has taken money from you and refused to pay it back. You can't take and take forever. Reply 36
    via u/MintJulepTestosteron
  • 24
    kmflushing 15h • I mean, you'd be stupid to fall for that scam twice, wouldn't you? Dont be stupid. Tell the flying monkeys that you're going to let her know they're willing to give her the $300 right NOW! NTA. ... Reply 31 ♡
    via u/kmflushing

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friendship best friends toxic Female Empowerment adulting money problems reddit story relationships love entitled reddit thread red flag Reddit money entitled people
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