Woman Cuts off Contact with In-Laws After They Reveal a Big Family Secret During Her Baby Shower, Husband Takes His Parents’ Side

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 21, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

Whenever one holds an event of some sort, they might feel a strong need for everyone who attends to focus all their attention on the celebrator and no one else. During a wedding, for example, the bride usually hates when someone tries to steal her focus, and the same might apply to birthdays, baby showers, and funerals (kidding with the last one, I hope…). 

That is why I understand why the wife in this Reddit story was upset, and I can relate to her initial reaction. During her baby shower, OP's (original poster) in-laws decided that their son's baby shower was the perfect time to tell everyone he was adopted. OP was really upset by this announcement, both because this took attention from the real reason they were having a party, and because she and her husband didn't plan to tell everyone about his adoption. However, the husband wasn't upset about the announcement and even told OP he thought she was overreacting, which led to an awkward situation...

Scroll down to read the full story. After you are done reading, click here to read a story about a woman who refused to open the door to her husband's boss.

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  • 01
    "I told my MIL that I refuse to let her see the baby or visit our house until she apologizes, but now my husband is upset."
    via Jecapix
  • 02
    AITA for refusing to let my in-laws visit after they revealed a family secret at my baby shower?
    via upstairssliden
  • 03
    I (32F) recently had a baby shower with my family. Everything was going great until my mother- in-law stood up and announced that my husband (34M) was
    via upstairssliden
  • 04
    adopted - something we had never planned on sharing publicly. My husband knew, but we both agreed not to make a big deal of it, since his adoptive parents had always been just "Mom and Dad" to him.
    via upstairssliden
  • 05
    My MIL went on and on about how she "rescued" him from his birth parents, which was really embarrassing and awkward for everyone. We hadn't even told
    via upstairssliden
  • 06
    some close family members, so hearing it at the shower was shocking. Worse, my husband didn't want to bring it up at all and just let her ramble on.
    via upstairssliden
  • 07
    After the party, I told my MIL that I was angry and that she had crossed a line, but she said I was overreacting and that "family shouldn't have secrets. I've
    via upstairssliden
  • 08
    refused to let her see the baby or visit our house until she apologizes, but now my husband is upset, saying I'm being unreasonable and punishing his
    via upstairssliden
  • 09
    mother for what he sees as a harmless "family story." So, AITA for cutting her off after this?
    via upstairssliden
  • 10
    Striped Badger • 10h ago Supreme Court Just- [126] INFO: was it a secret though? You say you and your husband didn't intend to announce it. That doesn't mean you ever spoke to his parents or
    via StripedBadger
  • 11
    anyone else that knew and asked them to never bring it up. What does your husband want? It's his family and his secret, not yours.
    via StripedBadger
  • 12
    upstairssliden OP • 10h ago My husband and I agreed not to announce it publicly. We didn't tell my mother-in-law not to talk about it, but we felt it was private. She knew we weren't discussing it openly. My
    via upstairssliden
  • 13
    husband was uncomfortable with how it was brought up but doesn't think it's a big enough deal to cut her off. He's upset about how my decision affects
    via upstairssliden
  • 14
    our family. I overreacted by setting such a firm boundary without considering his feelings. It's important to me, but I may have acted too unilaterally.
    via upstairssliden
  • 15
    ReviewOk929 10h ago Supreme Court Just-—[117] INFO: This doesn't make sense. Why did she feel the need to publicly stand up and just announce that? It's so out of context odd....
    via ReviewOk929
  • 16
    upstairssliden OP⚫ 10h ago It's odd. My mother-in-law likes to be the center of attention at family events. At the baby shower, she told a story about how she "rescued" my husband by adopting him. She wanted to look. like a hero.
    via upstairssliden
  • 17
    RB1327 9h ago • Edited 9h ago my husband is upset, saying I'm being unreasonable and punishing his mother for what he sees as a harmless "family story." Are you just angry because you think this spoiled your shower in some way?
    via RB1327
  • 18
    Because your husband doesn't seem bothered by his adoption being discussed. Why are you classing this as a 'family secret' at all? It comes off a bit like you are somehow embarrassed about him being adopted.
    via RB1327
  • 19
    Have to say YTA. Your punishment (cutting her off) doesn't fit what you see as a crime. And since the 2 people most involved (your MIL and your husband) don't feel this topic was verboten, it's weird that you think you have the right to be offended.
    via RB1327
  • 20
    SqueekyOwl ⚫9h ago Your husband's adoption is not your secret to keep. It is 100% the parents decision whether to say a child is adopted, and who they say it to. Children may also confide in
    via SqueekyOwl
  • 21
    people about their adoption, but they really shouldn't think they can control their parents. You do have a legitimate complaint about them using your babyshower as the place to make an announcement of
    via SqueekyOwl
  • 22
    any kind. But they were just really excited about having a grandchild. Maybe at one time they thought that was impossible because they could not have children. So I can understand why a baby shower for their grandbaby would be really emotional for them.
    via SqueekyOwl
  • 23
    You are overreacting BIG TIME. Keeping the baby from them is a MAJOR move. In fact, I think you are power tripping. You should not deny your child the ability to meet and bond with loving grandparents. You're being unkind to your baby, your husband, and your in-laws.
    via SqueekyOwl
  • 24
    Get off your power trip, and stop trying to control what other people say. YTA.
    via SqueekyOwl
  • 25
    Idobeleiveinkarma • 9h ago OP, why do you expect an apology when it isn't even your story? What does MIL actually have to apologise to you for?
    via Idobeleiveinkarma
  • 26
    This is your husband's story, and if he says you're overreacting on this topic, you are. Obviously he doesn't care if it isn't a family secret.
    via Idobeleiveinkarma
  • 27
    Ladyooh •9h ago YTA Enthusiast [7] Honestly you sound ashamed that your husband was adopted.
    via Ladyooh
  • 28
    Definitely MIL should have made sure that your HUSBAND was ok with this, but the fact that you are ready to go scorched earth over this - when your husband is NOT - makes you the ah in this.
    via Ladyooh
  • 29
    He thinks it's a harmless story and you're banning them from your house and grandchild. Yikes.
    via Ladyooh
  • 30
    tizzlerizzle ⚫9h ago Why are you trying to keep it a secret, it's a fact who cares?? If I were him you'd be the one making me feel bad. Yta
    via tizzlerizzle

Tags

family drama daughter in law aita baby adoption drama mother wife reddit story petty husband father in law mother in law family baby shower Reddit
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