Mom insists 11-year-old is 'too old' for plushies and plans on giving them to younger relatives, daughter starts sneaking her toys to her step-mom's house: 'My kids are older, and I don't force them to give away their plushies'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Sep 25, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Leaving childish things behind has long been an expected part of growing up. However, it is something that everybody has to do on their own timeline—and it's not like it's a necessity to leave everything in childhood. Still, some parents can be pretty strict about wanting their kids to move to the next stage of life. It's not easy.

This is something that one preteen began struggling with after her mom told her she was too old to continue owning her collection of Sanrio plushies. In retaliation, she began hiding them at her dad and stepmom's house. While her stepmom had no problem with this, her mom took it up with her dad as she was hoping to give the toys to some younger family members. For the most part, Reddit felt like the stepmom was doing nothing wrong in allowing the plushies to stay where she knew they would be appreciated.

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    Cheezburger Image 10408684288
    via Evgeniya Litovchenko

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
     

  • 02
    WIBTA if I continued to let my step-daughter sneak things into the house?
    via Grand_Wishbone4836
  • 03
    So, I (38F) am married to my husband (42M). I have 2 kids and he has one with his ex, Alice (11F). My husband has 50/50 custody so Alice is around a good chunk of the time.
    via Grand_Wishbone4836
  • 04
    Few weeks ago, Alice started "sneaking" some of her sanrio (she's obsessed with the brand) plushies into the room she shares with my daughter. It was fairly obvious but I didn't comment on it nor did my husband.
    via Grand_Wishbone4836
  • 05
    I really thought nothing of it but my husband got a call from his ex. Apparently, she's been wanting Alice to get rid of the toys because she's getting too old for them and wants to give them to younger family members.
    via Grand_Wishbone4836
  • 06
    I think it's a bit cruel. My kids are older than Alice and I don't force them to give away their plushies unless it's obvious they don't care about them anymore (which Alice clearly does as she's attached). My husband doesn't really agree either as he bought most of her collection and feels like he should have a say in what's going with them and he doesn't want to give them away if Alice still likes them.
    via Grand_Wishbone4836
  • 07
    Is it wrong if I just don't comment on anything? My husband has made it clear to me he's not going to say anything as they're technically his toys and they should be here anyways. I really don't find harm in letting Alice take them over here either. But then again, as much as I love her as my own, I'm not legally her parent and don't know if I should really get a say in this. WIBTA?
    via Grand_Wishbone4836
  • 08
    eli em303 NTA! She is only 11 years old. I am 18 and still have some of mine lying around! Alice clearly has some attachment to the teddy's and she will know when it's time to let them go. Alongside that, Ex can't say what happens in your and your husband's house. Good communication and similar rules are always helpful when raising kids in different custody situations though a few are fine. Letting her keep some toys, (especially that your husband bought), is normal. Definitely NTA though to sav
    via eli_em_303
  • 09
    meggatronia I'm 42 and still have the teddy bear I was given when I was 3. And my mum has given me custody of her childhood bear.
    via meggatronia
  • 10
    Thequiet01 This is not really about the toys. The ex is not respecting Alice as an independent person with her own wants and needs.
    via Thequiet01
  • 11
    red-sunday Im 24 and still love my sanrio plushies. My mum never forced me to get rid of them which I am so grateful for. My dad however gave away all my bratz dolls when I was 10 to his friends younger daughters and im still salty about it. The ex is totally wrong and if she forces Alice to do this its unlikely Alice will forget it
    via red-sunday
  • 12
    Pollythepony 1993 Agreed. My mom had to get rid of a lot of her toys because her father promised them to her younger niece. She is 60 now (and my grandfather 89) and it has always been something she hated. The fact that I know the story says enough. In my home we have a lot of toys. My stepson (9) also plays with things he is "too old for". We also give away toys to children who don't have much, but it is all toys my children don't want to play with anymore at all. They can choose the toys they
    via Pollythepony1993
  • 13
    Tree_Chemistry_Plz NTA. pretend you have no idea of the situation and let your husband take point. Alice is seeking to keep her beloved possessions safe and your home is that safe place. It wouldn't surprise me if Alice is being told its time that she "grew up" and stopped "being a baby" in order to shame her into sharing/giving away her beloved plushies. She needs a place where she can feel okay being a young girl and feel some autonomy over her belongings. As far as her mom's house goes Alice
    via Tree_Chemistry_Plz
  • 14
    Hungry-Book I don't see why you be the AH in this situation. You're on your husband's side, not the ex-wife
    via Hungry-Book
  • 15
    KaosP OP is on the step-daughter's side, which is the correct side to be on.
    via KaosP
  • 16
    Acrobatic_hero You and her dad are married you have a say... NTA, let the girl save her toys. Id take it a step further and talk to your husband about telling her to bring them all at once as one day she will go back to her mothers and they will be gone as the mother sounds like she would just give them away
    via Acrobatic_hero
  • 17
    Dickfer_537 Exactly. Let her know it's safe to bring them to her dads and keep/store them there.
    via Dickfer_537
  • 18
    Fozzie-Bear2014 NTA. I'm 41 and still have stuffed toys from when I was 12. It's all about the memories.
    via Fozzie-Bear2014
  • 19
    Ok-Position7403 NTA. I could understand giving it some consideration if it was something like a type of clothing she didn't want her to wear, but even then your husband is allowed to have his own rules, and you're on his side anyway. The fact is her mother wants to just gain brownie points by giving them away when her daughter still loves them. Thats who the AH is. I think it speaks well of you as a step- parent that you don't want to undermine her but this? Is nothing to worry about.
    via Ok-Position7403

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teddy bear Sanrio toys aita family daughter Reddit step mom mom
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