400 lb grandma buys her grandkids fast food for the 3rd time in a week, health-conscious dad throws away the meals in anger: 'I’m not having her bring this lifestyle into my home around my children'

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    Cheezburger Image 10410130176
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    AITA for throwing out my kid's food?
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    When I was a child my mother had no concept of what is healthy food. If it said diet on the box it was ok. She would serve me cereal for breakfast. Dinners was often processed ready to eat junk or McDonalds. After school snacks was cookies and Little Debbie. My mom is obese and I was almost 300 lbs when I graduated high school. It was only after I moved out that I realized how unhealthy I was and it took me years to lose that childhood weight and establish good eating habits.
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    My wife has always had them and was brought up by a family that didn't trust processed foods. My family and I know follow a whole food diet for ourselves.
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    My mom had a heart attack and is almost 400 lbs. This is her 3rd heart attack and she wasn't able to make rent so now she is living with me and recovering at my home. She has been to a nutritionist multiple times for her weight and acts like she is too stupid to understand what they are saying or acts like no one really eats like that or the doctors and nurses are bullying her because of her weight.
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    She has been ordering junk food and take out on apps like instant cart and Uber Eats. She has been feeding my kids the same junk food. Even after I have told her to stop. I hear the ring camera go off and my youngest child gets my mom's latest McDonalds order. My mom got both of my kids a happy meal. This was the 3rd time she has done this week.
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    I took my kids happy meal and tossed them in the trash and poured cleaner on top of them. I told my mom if wants to eat herself to death that's ok with me but do not kill my children like you almost killed me as a child with this trash.
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    Things got heated because my mom was crying saying she doesn't know any better and one Happy Meal will not hurt my children. I told her this is the 3rd one this week and if she gives my children junk again she will find herself in a nursing home. My mom cried and cried saying I was mean to her and all the doctors do is bully her. She just wants to live her life. I told her she's not living her best life she's eating herself to death. My mom called me a bully and told my children I was a bully an
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    FrancyCat92 Absolutely NTA - your house, your kids, your rules. What was your kids' reaction to all this? In an age appropriate way I'd be honest with them and explain why that food isn't healthy food and that yes maybe it can be a sometimes food, but if you eat sometimes food too much, you can get sick like grandma.
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    RiskUpset4107 OP The older one 10 thinks I'm a bully because he said it's wrong to bully people over weight in school. That I completely agree with as a former obese child but I telling him grandma is sick from all the food she ate. It's a difficult conversation because I don't want my children to start on good food vs bad food. That brings in other problems.
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    DrKittyLovah Hi, child psychologist here. While you're right about staying away from labeling foods as good and bad, it's absolutely fine to discuss healthy, nutritious food versus treat food that tastes good but doesn't nourish the body. One way you can frame the situation with grandma is that she really needs to be eating nutritious foods to heal her body just like they (your kids) need to be eating nutritious foods in order to grow & develop properly. Remind them that it's fine to have treat
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    For your older kid you could even talk about how some people can get addicted to eating only treat food like someone can get addicted to drugs, because eating only that kind of food all the time changes the brain to only want that kind of food. Grandma has an addiction to food that is not good for her body, but eating that kind of food constantly makes it more likely she'll stay sick and maybe have another heart attack. Explain that it's hard for Grandma to understand why it's bad to eat that ki
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    you demonstrating tough love. Sometimes being harsh is the only way someone can hear you, and Grandma had ignored your other attempts to talk about it & make changes. You aren't bullying Grandma for her weight, you are upset that she is refusing the doctor's instructions and not trying to heal her body from sickness, and her diet is a big part of that. You are upset that she is giving you too much treat food and that means not getting enough nutritious food. You are the parent & it's your job to
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    If your kids know that you previously struggled with your weight, remind them that you were once unhealthy because you ate that way, and you'd never want that for them. If they don't, now is a good time to bring it up. Describe struggling to walk, shortness of breath, congested skin, whatever was true for you. Explain that bodies run on nutritious food like a car runs on gas (if you have gas-powered cars), and without nutritious foods the body doesn't work well. Explain the differences in how yo
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    Wandering_aimlessly9 Explain to him that it's not bullying her over her weight. It's being exhausted that grandma is ok eating food to the point she's having heart attacks and every heart attack kills part of her heart. If too much of her heart dies, she will die. You aren't bullying her. You are trying to save her.
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    FutureScribe You can let your 10 year old know that in school you can't blame kids, they're stuck eating what their parents give them to eat, but adults have choices. Grandma isn't making healthy choices and she's trying to influence your kids into making unhealthy choices when there's healthier food options for them at home. A takeout treat once or twice a month isn't a big deal but if it's weekly or (as grandma seems to) almost daily it's a problem.
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    Cayke_Cooky INFO: did you at least take out the toy before throwing them out?
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    RiskUpset4107 OP I did
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    Cayke_Cooky NTA then.
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    lookalive07 She would serve me cereal for breakfast. Oh my stars! Not cereal for breakfast! Jokes aside, it's your house and your rules so you get to decide what your children eat. Maybe if it's once in a while that your mom wants to get them something "unhealthy", so be it, but 3x a week is totally too far.
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    I'm only going to err on the side of ESH because instead of telling her you're going to put her in a home because she won't listen, you might want to try getting her a therapist and going with her to a session so you can air out some of your issues with her. Just flat out telling her you're done with her is an AH move, despite your own past traumas, even though they're pretty directly her fault. But you also could have taken it on yourself to recognize that your weight gain was controllable earl
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    And I said this in another reply to someone but you really need to look at what kind of lesson this puts on your kids. You're teaching them that they aren't allowed to eat anything you don't deem as "healthy", which can either set them up with the mindset that some foods are strictly off limits and they will avoid things that provide them nutrition that they may need, which can lead to eating disorders, or you're setting them up to hide the "junk" food from you, which will either lead to them ge

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